Former child star Jennette McCurdy is speaking out about a relationship she had at 18 years old. The actor dated a man twice her age. At the time, she didn’t think much about dating the older man.
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However, now, she notes a grooming red flag she didn’t realize at the time. It’s inspired her book Half His Age. At the time, the former child star said she was “thinking that [she] was mature, thinking that [she] was so smart that this could happen.”
Former Child Star Speaks Out
“I remember thinking like, ‘Oh yeah, there’s just something about me that’s a little different. Like, I’m special.’ That’s what it felt like for me. I’m special, I can connect with older people, younger people aren’t on my wavelength,” she said during an appearance on “Call Her Daddy.”
It’s something that her boyfriend used to justify their relationship..
“It was, you know, ‘You’re so mature. I can’t talk to anyone this way. I can’t believe how smart you are,’” McCurdy recalled. “Like, are you kidding me? I was such an idiot. I’m so embarrassed. Also, how humiliating that he thought that was smart or even used being smart as a manipulation tactic because how stupid of him.”
McCurdy said the comment was a “red flag.” Podcast host Alexandra Cooper agreed.
“When you are in it, it may not feel like a red flag, but I think socially that concept has been spread around enough where people are like, ‘Got it.’ If a man is calling a woman f—ing mature for her age, please pause for five seconds and someone protect that young woman,” Cooper said.
The former child star says that she and her then-boyfriend had a power imbalance.
“That it was ultimately my choice. That it was ultimately up to me. That ultimately, I was the one in charge. And I think if you feel really powerless, you’ll take that bait,” McCurdy explained.
“You know, you’ll take that, and you’ll go, ‘Okay, I really want that feeling of power even though my gut kind of knows this isn’t that, I’ll take what you’re saying, and I’ll try to run with it, and I’ll try to make it into some semblance of power.’ If you’re that desperate for it, you will take the bait. And I think I did.”