Chrissy Teigen is getting real about her mental health struggles.
In her latest Instagram post, the former Sports Illustrated model shared a series of pictures showing her doing a log crossing. She also shared an emotional message about how the event is helping her change her perspective on life.
“I did this log crossing a few years ago when I last came here,” Chrissy Teigen wrote. wrote. “When I was struggling mentally. It was incredibly hard then. My feet felt like they were 1,000 pounds each, my body tensed up to the point I felt like I was in a car crash after coming down.”
Teigen then said she made it across after 40 “lonnnng” minutes, noting she wasn’t even scared of heights.
“It wasn’t about the height,” she explained. “It’s fighting through the pain in my arms, my neck, my feet most of all. Trying it today, I was sure it would be so different.”
Chrissy Teigen further spoke about how she approaches her mental health struggles. “I thought I could make the pain go away by relaxing my body, breathing,” she pointed out.
“And just taking in and enjoying what I was doing. But plot twist!! It was just as hard. I shaved off a little time, but what I love about this is how much it surprises you and how much you learn about yourself.”
Pointing out that her rational mind knows it would be “totally fine” to just fall, Teigen wrote she would gently be lowered down instead. “The realization that I am so terrified to fall again in life that it becomes overwhelmingly debilitating both mentally and physically was… a lot.”
Chrissy Teigen Says the Log Crossing Experience Makes Her Realize She Lives Her Whole Life So Scared
Continuing to share the meaning behind her log-crossing adventure, Chrissy Teigen stated the experience also made her realize she’s been living her whole life so scared.
“I don’t enjoy much outside my family, my few friends, television, and crafts,” she admitted. “I feel like a very shrunken version of myself. And I know I am meant to be big.”
She then noted that she’s really scared of letting her followers down as well. “I find myself fighting with myself all day in my brain with things I want to say,” Teigen wrote. “Things I want to explain, but I’m just so fearful.”
Chrissy Teigen also wrote that she misses so many parts of herself. She hopes one day she can “shed” some fear. However, she accepts that she will never be perfect for anyone and that is ok.
“But for now I will continue to work on it all and try to balance my brain with rational thoughts,” she added. “And try to be kind to myself and my body and mind.”