Legendary singer Billy Joel is getting candid about a dark period of his life in a new documentary.
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Billy Joel: And So It Goes premiered its first installment at the Tribeca Festival in New York on Wednesday. The film delves into the life of the iconic 76-year-old singer, including an in-depth look at one of the most challenging chapters of his journey.
According to PEOPLE, the film, co-directed by Susan Lacy and Jessica Levin, explores a troubling period early in Joel’s career when he attempted suicide twice after an affair with a former bandmate’s wife.
Elizabeth Weber reveals in the documentary that she had an affair with Joel when he was in his 20s. At the time, she was married to Jon Small, the drummer for Atila and Joel’s best friend.
“Bill and I spent a lot of time together,” she admits in the film, per PEOPLE.
In the film, she explains that the affair developed gradually. Eventually, Small, who had a son with Weber, began to suspect something was happening. Joel then admitted to the affair, saying, “I’m in love with your wife.”
Joel admits in the film that he still feels “very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker. I was just in love with a woman, and I got punched in the nose, which I deserved. Jon was very upset. I was very upset.”
Billy Joel Spirals Into Depression in the Aftermath of His Affair
The brawl ended Atila and the pair’s friendship. Weber left Small and eventually reconnected with Joel, with whom she was married from 1973 to 1982. Afterward, the singer fell into a difficult period of drinking and depression.
“I had no place to live,” Joel recalls in the film. “I was sleeping in laundromats and I was depressed, I think to the point of almost being psychotic. So I figured, ‘That’s it. I don’t want to live anymore.’ I was just in a lot of pain and it was sort of like why hang out, tomorrow is going to be just like today is and today sucks. So, I just thought I’d end it all.”
Billy Joel’s sister, Judy Molinari, was working as a medical assistant and gave him sleeping pills to help him rest. “But Billy decided that he was going to take all of them… he was in a coma for days and days and days,” she explained in the film. “I went to go see him in the hospital, and he was lying there white as a sheet. I thought that I’d killed him.”
The singer admitted he was “very selfish” at the time and remembered waking up in the hospital, determined to attempt suicide again. Molinari shared that her brother drank a bottle of Lemon Pledge furniture cleaner, and Small drove him to the hospital after the incident.
“Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life,” Joel recalled of his former bandmate.
“He never really said anything to me. The only practical answer I can give as to why Billy took it so hard was because he loved me that much and that it killed him to hurt me that much. Eventually, I forgave him,” Small reasons in the film.
Billy Joel’s Ordeal is Reflected in a 1971 Song
Joel wrote the song “Tomorrow Is Today” for his 1971 Cold Spring Harbor album, reflecting the deep sadness he felt at the time. “Oh my I’m goin’ to the river/ Gonna take a ride and the lord will deliver me/ Made my bed, I’m gonna lie in it/ If you don’t come, sure gonna die in it,” Joel sings on the tune.
Billy Joel: And So It Goes drops on HBO in July.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. The previous Lifeline phone number (1-800-273-8255) will always remain available.