Years after she and her ex, Alana Mayo, called it quits, Them actress Lena Waithe opens up about the short-lived marriage.
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During her recent appearance on Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast, Waithe spoke about the relationship. “It was me feeling, even though I’m not as happy as I should be, I think this is what I’m supposed to be doing,” she explained. “And I just didn’t have the language or understanding of that.”
Waithe and Mayo dated for three years before getting engaged in 2017. Two years later, they got married. However, the couple announced their separation just two months after their wedding.
Mayo filed for divorce from Waithe in November 2020, and the divorce was finalized in May 2021.
As she discussed what went wrong in the marriage, Waithe said she wasn’t focused on her own happiness when she decided to marry Mayo.
“My happiness didn’t feel like it was important,” she pointed out. “I think what was most important was that I honor this relationship.”
Waithe Reveals Why the Marriage Failed
Despite how it ended, Waithe said she was “grateful” for the marriage to Mayo. She noted it “changed” her life and that Mayo is an “amazing human. However, she admitted the marriage failed because she and Mayo “wanted different things.”
“One of the things is like, I actually realized I didn’t want to have children,” Waithe said. “And that’s a pretty big life change. And so, at that time… I just kept putting it off. And so, that wasn’t me lying. It was me still trying to understand what I wanted and who I wanted to be. And I think that’s why, for me, it’s really important having this perspective stepping back.”
However, Waithe said she wasn’t “clear” with Mayo about her wants and needs.
“All I knew was, ‘I want to be with this person, I want to have this house. I want to have this dog. I want to have this mural,” she said. “But then I didn’t ask myself, ‘But where do you want to be in five years, really?’”
She also admitted that she didn’t end the relationship in a way that was “noble,” “honest,” or “kind.”
“It was done in a way that felt like a car crash,” she said. “And that’s because I just sort of like, was driving the car too fast, not knowing the gear, and just sort of going,” she explained. “And that doesn’t remove accountability for my behavior.”
She then added, “I wish I could have landed the plane better, you know what I mean? But I think ultimately… It’s about giving yourself grace and kind of looking back at it and [going], ‘Oh, you could have handled that much better.’”