After his wife returns to the workforce, the husband finds himself feeling helpless after depending on her for nearly 47 years. As a result, he turned to Reddit’s AITA, “Am I The A**hole,” subreddit to state his case.
Redditor u/Ashamed_To_Say_, who we’ll refer to as John, explained that he and his wife are both 68 years old and that he retired three years ago. Up until recently, however, his wife, a former nurse, decided to reenter the workforce for a “change of pace.”
John describes his wife’s decision as creating an “awkward dynamic,” as he knows little to nothing about running a household. Here’s his story.
‘AITA’ For Not Knowing How To Run A Household As My Wife Did For 50 Years?
As it so happens, John has never shared in domestic tasks aside from doing some light cleaning here and there. Instead, he has always relied on the women in his life for such work.
But, following his retirement, John’s wife returned to her former nursing career and left him to fend for himself at home. “I have 0 experience doing chores,” John stated. Also, he said that since he had always had either his wife or mother with him, he has never had to take on any responsibility. “I legitimately have never had to lift a finger at home ’til recently.”
In his post, John also mentions that his wife packed him lunch every day for 47 years before his retirement. He noted, however, that he couldn’t do so for her, simply because he didn’t know how. “She’s had to teach me how to cook, since I had very little experience doing it (none actually),” he explained.
Moreover, despite his ability to clean, he mentions that there are other chores that he is just not capable of doing. In response, he suggested that he and his wife might split the chores, however, she hasn’t been so accepting of this idea.
According to John, he and his wife now argue over the fact that he cannot do what she has done for nearly 50 years. Although John has no experience with housework, he also claims he never wanted to retire but was persuaded by his wife to do so. Now he’s stuck at home and totally clueless. So is he still in the wrong?
Who Is In The Wrong?
John’s actions weren’t praiseworthy on the AITA subreddit. The majority of commenters, puzzled by John’s incompetence after 47 years, jumped to his wife’s defense.
One commenter explained, “Your wife is upset because she took care of you and your family for 50 years, and you don’t have one idea of how to do anything that she did. You never paid attention to what she did…you took her for granted. Start by apologizing.”
Some commenters questioned his inability to help with chores, yet he managed to jump on Reddit, an apparently more difficult affair than packing a lunch. “Here you are on Reddit…if you can figure that out, you can find videos on YouTube to teach you how to cook dinner, do laundry, and even pack a lunch,” one commenter stated.
Nevertheless, commenters were equally appalled at the idea that John thought chores should be divided as he sat at home, while his wife worked long hours as a nurse. How dare he expect her to come home and wait on him too. They deemed John lazy.
As one commenter noted, if they were both retired, and he had asked them to split the chores, then it would be fair. However, since he doesn’t work, he must shoulder that responsibility. The move to learn and accomplish household chores was seen by many as a way for him to show “respect and consideration for his wife.”
So, what do you think? Should John’s wife be upset that he is clueless about household chores after 47 years? Is it a reasonable request to split the chores? You be the judge.