A Reddit 'AITA' Post Explores A Husband's Birthday Demands That Are Clearly Gaslighting Behavior

In some families, birthdays are a big deal. Some families lavish their loved ones with gifts and goodies. They make (or order) a delectable birthday cake and have a big party. They might treat their loved ones on their special day or even the whole week leading up to their birthday. In other families, you’ll be lucky to get a card or a “happy birthday” thrown your way. Most families land somewhere in the middle.

However, one family isn’t feeling the birthday bliss this year. One woman turned to Reddit for answers after she was called “selfish” for refusing to accept her husband’s list of demands during his “birthday month.”

The Back Story

The woman, who we’ll call Kasey, is married to a man who is soon to be 30 years old. The couple share a young son, and both work full time. Kacey stated that despite this, she does most of the housework, pays the majority of the bills, and does most of the caretaking for their son. However, when her husband’s birthday month rolled around, he had a list of “birthday month expectations” at the ready.

A few examples on his list included:

1. He is not to be asked to do any type of chores or clean or cook for a month.

2. He gets to play his Xbox for hours on end without his wife interrupting or nagging him about it.

3. He is not to pay his part of the rent for a month.

4. He gets to go out with his friends whenever he wants.

5. He gets to skip any given workday and sleep in without being bothered to wake up to drive their son to school or do any emergency fixes.

The Wife’s Response

So, like any reasonable person, Kasey asked “are you being serious right now?” Because obviously, this had to be a joke.

“In other words, he wants a month-long vacation and time off from his responsibilities as a partner and as a father,” Kasey wrote. Her husband was adamant that his parents and friends had done this for him in the past, so as his wife “she should be happy to do it.”

She refused and called his requests ridiculous, because (obviously) they are. Also, she stated that they are already struggling financially and that she “needs his help, especially now.”

He responded by “pitching a fit,” calling her selfish, avoiding her altogether, and stating that he’s very disappointed. The gaslighting proved successful, as Kasey pondered at the end of her post if she might be in the wrong.

Reddit’s Response

Overwhelmingly, Reddit was on Kasey’s side and agreed that her response was justified.

One of the top comments read, “Lol if I pulled that s*** on my wife I’d expect divorce papers for my birthday present.”

Another poster got right to the point. “I could see a bday weekend. Maybe. But these demands are idiotic and ridiculous. If he wants to live like he’s single and not a parent he can go be single and not a parent. ‘My parents/friends did it’ doesn’t mean anyone else has to. Also, you are his wife, and therefore neither of those categories matter. You didn’t go too far. At this point, he’d be lucky if he gets a ‘Happy Birthday’ with his attitude.”

We can only hope that Kasey can see that this behavior is toxic, if it’s indicative of how her husband is all the time, divorce papers might be in order.