Couples should discuss a few pregnancy-related topics before welcoming a new baby. Should we be parents, for instance?
Although these points shouldn’t be taken lightly, and are usually discussed between partners, one husband preferred to consult mommy dearest instead. Mother knows best, after all. What could possibly go wrong? Everything, of course.
One woman’s story highlights this clearly after seeing a deceptive FB post from her mother-in-law. Worse still, the post was via her husband’s Facebook page about a pregnancy that wasn’t yet official.
The Back Story
A woman, age 23 who we’ll call Katie, recently found out she had an unplanned pregnancy with her husband. Katie and her partner have been talking about whether or not they’re ready to become parents and were on the fence still about having kids.
In order to protect their privacy, Katie asked her husband not to tell anyone about her pregnancy. However, her husband still took it upon himself to inform his mother that they were pregnant. He did not let her know about their apprehension. Rather, when he told her about the news, he merely asked her to remain quiet about it.
Katie’s MIL didn’t take the hint and went on her son’s Facebook page to announce Katie’s pregnancy. Worst of all, she even pretended to be Katie’s husband.
After learning of the shocking revelation, Katie confronted her mother-in-law on the phone. According to her MIL, she flippantly figured that using one of their social media accounts would not bother them.
Katie, appalled at the clear boundaries crossed, lost her temper with her MIL. Evidently, the argument was so heated that her MIL cried.
When Katie’s husband found out, he defended his mother, lashing out at his wife for “poor treatment” and “abuse” against his mother. No amount of reasoning that his mother had violated their privacy and was putting additional pressure on them to have the baby seemed to land.
Katie’s husband dismissed her entirely, stating that it was technically his Facebook account and therefore his privacy hadn’t been violated. He felt that the argument with his mother shouldn’t have happened and demanded for his wife to apologize.
Katie refused, but in her post questioned if she may have overacted. Oh boy, the red flags to unpack here!
Who Is In The Wrong?
There was nothing particularly commendable about Katie’s husband’s or MIL’s actions. In fact, the majority of commenters on Katie’s post reflected this sentiment and then some. It’s hard to have clarity when inside a relationship, and many were quick to point out that this may just be the tip of the iceberg.
“Quite frankly, you need to truly consider if you want to have a child with this man, because this behavior (his, and his mother’s) is only a wind-up. It will get worse,” one commenter warned.
“Think hard about whether you want to be tied to this family for the next 18 years. Is your husband going to yell at you and side with his mom every time you disagree about your kid?” another commenter echoed.
As the comment section churned, a new theory began bubbling up that perhaps Katie’s husband was the mastermind all along.
“It’s probably that he definitely wants the pregnancy to proceed,” wrote one user. “[Katie] isn’t sure and he’s using his mother to help force the decision.”
Honestly, we’re not sure what’s worse here: a husband who clearly is not supporting his wife, or a husband who is trying to manipulate her. Either way, this behavior is far from the realm of acceptable.
At the end of the day, Katie is not in the wrong. Her MIL should apologize to her, but she shouldn’t count on it. Apart from having a child with this man, she needs to seriously consider whether or not marriage is going to work with his mother as a third wheel. As the saying goes: Two’s company, three’s a crowd.