Comedian Nish Kumar has revealed his struggle with PTSD, stemming from death threats he received during a particularly turbulent period in his career.
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Kumar, a 39-year-old British Indian comedian known for his outspoken left-wing views, became a frequent target of hateful right-wing trolls online. The hostility reached a disturbing peak during the 2019 general election, according to UK outlet Metro.
Last year, Nish told the outlet that online hate got so severe he had to involve the police. Now, he’s opening up about the devastating effect it had on his mental health.
During a conversation with fellow comedian Kemah Bob on her podcast Icebergs, Nish opened up about experiencing PTSD as a result of receiving racist death threats.
He recalled spending entire days in solitude, consumed by thoughts of someone trying to kill him.
“I started seeing a therapist because of some, like quite extreme, weird s**t that was going on in my work life in the end of 2019,” Nish told Bob.
Nish Kumar Claims He Has the ‘Lowest Level of PTSD Possible’
When discussing how his PTSD presented itself, the comedian detailed, “Panic attacks and also emotional dysregulation for me was a big one.”
“Oh my god, I’m gonna cry like out of nowhere,” he recalled feeling.
However, the comedian was quick to add that he isn’t claiming to have PTSD on the level of a war veteran.
“I should say I have the lowest level of PTSD possible,” Kumar pointed out. “There are grades with it. But even with my version, there’d be some days where out of nowhere in conversation I’m shouting or emotional.”
When this emotion surfaced, Nish found himself unable to explain its origin.
“A lot of it came from death threats and – this sounds like such a bananas thing to say – but most of the day I was imagining being killed,” Nish admitted. “‘Like, if I was left on my own, I was imagining what it was gonna be like when someone came to my house and killed me,” he added.
Meanwhile, Kumar also detailed how even after success, there’s always another mountain. “As soon as you achieve something, it’s immediately rendered worthless,” he said of an ephiphany he has with his therapist.