After lust fades, even the best relationships are bound to have rough patches. Nevertheless, how do you know when a tough time is simply just that or if it’s something more serious? You may find that your partner is providing several hints, whether intentionally or unintentionally, that will quickly reveal the answer.
Experiencing these signs in your relationship might mean your partner is falling out of love with you. Or maybe it’s just a rough patch. Either way, it’s probably time to sit down and have a heart-to-heart.
1. Utilizing Conflict Avoidance
Is your partner avoiding discussions about hurt feelings despite your desire to talk?
In relationships, conflict avoidance can have disastrous consequences if it becomes a pattern. As outlined by Dr. Gottman of the Gottman Institute, stonewalling is when you stop communicating and tune out your partner’s emotions. Stonewalling is considered to be among the four worst types of relationship behavior.
2. Communicating With Contempt
In Malcolm Gladwell’s bestselling book, Blink, he argues that contempt is the number one predictor of divorce in a relationship. Contempt in partner can look like disrespect, mocking, sarcasm and condescension.
In addition, your partner might not feel very positive about the relationship, resulting in contempt. This is because positive thoughts evoke positive feelings.
3. Rarely Having Sex
When a once active rider shows little to no interest in getting back in the saddle, it might be more than a minor dry spell.
If you’re rarely having sex with your partner, and sex has been a staple in the relationship before, this is a cause for concern. Whether the reason is directly tied to the relationship or stemming from outside factors, a discussion is definitely needed.
4. Picking Up New Routines
Has your partner suddenly become obsessed with their appearance? Are they skipping date nights so they can work odd hours or spend more time at the gym?
The changes in your partner’s schedule and appearance may indicate that they’re not only falling out of love with you but maybe they’re also starting to see someone else. Granted, this is not always the case, but you should be aware of this sudden change and have a talk.
5. Avoiding Future Plans
If your partner avoids talking about future plans, maybe it’s because they don’t see a future with you. Ouch.
Conversations between lovers headed towards a breakup usually focus on light subjects. This way, heavy topics that involve future plans such as life goals, upcoming celebrations and vacations are avoided. Unfortunately, this typically indicates an impending storm.
6. Not Spending Time With You
It’s healthy for couples to spend time apart and pursue individual interests. It might be troublesome, however, if your partner rarely spends time with you, yet frequently spends time with others.
This could mean they are growing apart from you and don’t see the value that you bring. Perhaps they don’t know they’re doing it, but either way, this situation needs to be brought to the forefront.
7. Constantly Criticizing
Your partner may be falling out of love with you if they criticize you often. Instead of providing you with words that lift you up, you’re met with words of criticism that make you feel attacked, rejected and hurt. This is not okay.
8. Being Defensive
Defensiveness is a red flag in any relationship. An unwillingness to accept responsibility and a lack of interest in the problem indicates that they don’t value it. Defensiveness only increases conflict.
In this case, they may already have one foot out the door.