Country Star Opens up About Dad’s ‘Devastating’ Death by Suicide

In an upcoming memoir, country star Clint Black is getting candid about the 2012 death of his father, who died by suicide.

The country singer details his final conversation with his father and the profound effect it had on him in his forthcoming memoir, Killin’ Time: My Life and Music.

“I just felt like I needed to tell the end of his story, what it did to me, and it’s still doing it,” the 64-year-old recently told PEOPLE. “I miss him all the time.”

G.A. Black passed away in December 2012 at the age of 78. At the time, Taste of Country reported that Clint Black had released a statement saying he was “devastated” by the news.

Now, watching golf reminds Black of his father and their shared love for the sport.

“I was watching The Masters, and I was missing him because we’d just sit on the phone together and watch The Masters together,” the “Been There” singer explained. “And we didn’t have to talk. Every now and then, ‘Ooh.’ Those days are gone now. So it’s tough.”

Clint Black Recalls Thinking, ‘This is How Painful Things Can Be’ Following Father’s Suicide

The country star calls his father’s death a “devastating blow,” which made him realize “just how painful life can be.”

“I hadn’t been exposed to it in such a way as to realize, ‘Oh wow, this is how painful things can be,'” he admitted.

However, Black still holds very fond memories of his late father.

“We loved him very much. He was a great character. All of our friends, everybody loved him,” Black added. “[People say], ‘Well, he lived a long life.’ Yeah, well, we got more addicted to him, too. The longer they’re around, the more you want them around.”

Meanwhile, Black says he wrote his memoir to show readers the real him, starting from his early days as a “scrappy” kid growing up in Katy, Texas.

“This is the life of a blue-collar family, coming up with a little education, and really making a good go of it, persevering through just determination,” the “State of Mind” singer told PEOPLE.

“I was just a scrappy little kid, trying not to drown, finding my way into the nightclubs and then the record business,” Black added. “I pushed through hurdle after hurdle, injury after injury, surgery after surgery, and all those things that happen in every life, and continued to strive for excellence.”

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline​. The previous Lifeline phone number (1-800-273-8255) will always remain available.