Alyssa Milano recently opened up about the complex feelings she experienced after suffering two miscarriages. The Charmed actress talked about the experience on People’s new podcast, Me Becoming Mom, saying she felt that the miscarriages were punishment for past abortions.
“I definitely had this moment of, ‘Well, I’m being punished, basically, for abortions in my 20s.’ I didn’t realize that at the time. It took a while in therapy to realize that that was something that I was putting on myself,” she shared.
Milano: ‘It Was Part Of The Process, I Guess.’
Milano also worried that her feelings affected the way she interacted with her son, Milo, and daughter, Elizabella.
“The way I interacted or was with my children — and I think this is common — but I always felt like, ‘What if something happens to these two little beings that I love so much? And is there a world in which they’re taken away from me for whatever karmic resolution needed to happen?’” she said. The miscarriages happened before her pregnancies with Milo and Elizabella.
“It was a bummer, but it felt like I got the two pregnancies I was supposed to get. And that’s how I kind of looked at it the entire time,” she says. “I know that a lot of women take miscarriages very hard, but for me, it was part of the process, I guess. Both miscarriages were, I think I was maybe 7 or 8 weeks pregnant, so if it wasn’t viable, my body did what it was supposed to do. I still look at it like that.”
The Actress Doesn’t Have Any Regrets
The actress has been open about her past abortions, talking about the experience on her own podcast, Alyssa Milano: Sorry Not Sorry. She said it happened twice, both times in 1993 and within a few months of each other.
“I knew at that time, I was not equipped to be a mother, and so I chose to have an abortion. I chose. It was my choice. And it was absolutely the right choice for me,” Milano explained at the time, adding, “It was not an easy choice. It was not something I wanted, but it was something that I needed, like most health care is.”
Even though Milano struggled with the decision, she doesn’t have any regrets. “I would not have my children — my beautiful, perfect, loving, kind and inquisitive children who have a mother who was so very, very ready for them.”