Naming your children is such a personal and exciting thing. Going through your all-time favorite lists, discussing your choices (or not) with your loved ones, and finding the name that will perfectly fit your child is a fun adventure.
However, sometimes when you and your partner can’t decide on a name things can get tense. If they hate every name you suggest or vice versa, things are bound to get ugly quickly.
A woman who found herself in this situation recently turned to Reddit and asked what she should do after telling her fiancé that he didn’t get to name both of their children.
Double The Trouble
So, at first glance you might think, yeah, that’s kind of unfair that the woman would refuse to let her fiancé help name their babies. But, that’s not exactly what’s happening here.
The poster is currently pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl, and her fiancé has claimed the boy as a “junior.” Meaning the boy would automatically have his first, middle, and last name. However, the fiancé didn’t stop there. He also wants to name the girl after his mother and have the baby girl’s middle name be his dad’s name. So where does this leave the commenter?
Apparently, that leaves the commenter having no say in what to name the twins. So, she did what most people would do and tried to have a conversation about it. “I told him that I didn’t really think it was fair that he got to name the first baby what he wanted and now wants to name the second baby also what he wants. I also said it wasn’t fair that my family gets excluded. He said he really wanted to incorporate at least his mom’s name.”
After that, the fiancé became “visibly sad, upset, and standoffish,” after conversations about naming the babies.
In the end, she stood up for herself and even tried to compromise with her fiancé. “I told him he doesn’t get to name both of the babies what he wants. He got upset about this comment and has been stand-offish toward me. I don’t think that was so awful of me to say but now I’m second-guessing my comment.”
Reddit’s response was mostly in favor of the mom, obviously. Several stated some variation of, “Girl you’re growing those babies. You get a say in the name.”
Other posters warned of the plight of “juniors” with cautionary tales of government documentation mix-ups and other issues. One commenter stated, “My husband is a junior. He also grew up in a small town where his dad grew up. Everyone knows him and thinks he’s a troublemaker like his dad. They have had so many issues with insurance, cell phones, jobs, etc.”
Other commenters stated that the lack of compromise was a red flag. One commenter said, “He’s being a bully and needs to learn to compromise if he wants to be in an adult relationship. Things don’t just go his way all the time when it comes to being a co-parent.” Hopefully, the fiancé will learn to compromise before the babies are born.