Taylor Swift has a list of ex's longer than our grocery list — and a even longer list of hit songs she's written about their past relationships. Although she hasn't come out with an official burn book matching up songs with ex's, we took the liberty of doing that ourselves (and don't worry, not ALL of them are bad). After all, she has a blank space — and she WILL write your name.
The key clue to this mystery? The scarf! Back in 2010, the ex-couple were photographed walking hand and hand in Central Park, with T-Swift keeping cozy with Gyllenhaal's scarf wrapped around her. In the video for the song, the actor playing the ex handed her a scarf. 100% proof right there.
This one is just obvious. Come on, his name is Styles and the song is titled "Style." DUH. Need more proof? Check out the lyric, "You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt." Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner.
So what if they only dated (supposedly) for about a month — it was the same year she penned the song about a boy she barely knew. Eh? Eh!
As the rare example of a jaded relationship song that isn't simply tearing the guy apart, "Back to December" was actually a sweet apology. And it was totes an apology to Taylor Lautner. Besides the timeline in the song matching up with the couple's relationship, there's also the dead giveaway line that says, "I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile. (We wished it would have worked out so we could have called them The Taylors!)
This one isn't up for debate, as T-Swift came right out and admitted the tune was about her ex One Direction flame. She even performed the song right in front of Styles at the Grammys, to which she said,"Well, it's not hard to access that emotion when the person the song is directed at is standing by the side of the stage watching." She even mocked a British accent onstage during her performance. Ouch.
That damn incriminating scarf! Ok, so this time it was her scarf, but T-Swizzle was with Gyllenhaal back in 2010 when she reportedly spent Thanksgiving with the actor and his family in New York. Later when "All Too Well" came out, certain lyrics like "The autumn leaves falling down…" and "Your mother telling stories…" point to that experience. Oh, and "Left my scarf at your sister's house." Case closed.
Dating a guy with an even worse track record than herself, Swift made no attempts at hiding who this painful love ballad was about. As poor judgment on both their parts (Taylor was 19 and John was 31 at the time), Mayer has later gone on the record saying that he felt that the song was a low blow. That whole relationship was a low blow!
OK, technically the song is about Camilla Belle, the girl Joe immediately dumped T-Swift for in 2008 (which he did with a super classy 28-second-long phone call). But it's definitely still about their relationship. Not surprisingly, she furiously penned the song with the infamous chorus, "She's an actress, whoa, she's better known for the things that she does on the mattress, whoa." Whoa, indeed.
A song about hope and new love, "Begin Again" lines up around the time she dated the RFK grandson Conor Kennedy. She definitely had high hopes for this boy (that unfortunately didn't work out).
Look who got another song written about him! T-Swizzle admitted that the song was about an "unreliable guy," and Jake's dating history is just as numbered as Taylor's. Right around the time the two were a thing, Gyllenhaal was also tied to Rachel Bilson and Anna Kendrick, so we're sure the line "put my name on top of your list" was most definitely directed towards him.
Oh, the boy that started it all! Alford was Taylor's high school boyfriend and he reportedly dumped her for one of her own good friends! Yet, all is well that end's well, because T-Swift became famous for her songs about rocky relationship and Alford ended up marrying the girl he left Swift for.
So, here is the song that is actually about the Jonas brother himself. Besides matching up timeline wise (when written versus when they dated), the song is a reflection of the shock felt of having someone move on and seemingly forget about you out of the blue. Which is definitely what happened between them.
Oh Joe, you really broke her heart! Swift opened up and said, "'Forever And Always' is about when I was in a relationship with someone and I was just watching him slowly slip away... The guy I wrote it about ended up breaking up with me for another girl. Guess I know why he was fading." Taylor always writes the best songs about tragic young love.
Yes, he's on the list again, but this time in actually a good light. "Holy Ground," which was released in 2012, looks back positively on a past relationship, and besides the whole Camilla Belle thing, the two seemed to have a really good dynamic. Mentioning New York in the lyrics, the only two past-exes tied to NY were Joe Jonas and Jake Gyllenhaal, so by process of elimination the prize goes to Joe.
True, the pair never dated, BUT T-Swizzle did meet the Owl City front man, and reportedly he later sent an email apologizing for his shy behavior, saying he was just so wonderstruck to meet her. "Enchanted" is all about a chance meeting, with Swift even using the word 'wonderstruck' (and apparently she loved it enough to name her signature fragrance scent after it as well). Young was flattered by the song (who wouldn't be?), so he recorded his own cover with a few tweaks to direct a message back at Taylor. This is so sweet — maybe the two should have actually gone out!
All of these songs paint the same picture: songs of young lost love, which perfectly describes the relationship with another high school beau, Brandon Borello. Borello was a bit older than Swift and ended up leaving for college, thus ending the relationship. We bet he never expected to have three hit songs written about him, though!
Here's another tune penned about a former high school flame. Apparently, Armstrong cheated on the now-Grammy winner, which makes sense with the lyrics, "You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance. It was a moment of weakness and you said yes." If he felt bad about it before, we're sure he's really kicking himself about it now.