Let's face it. Most of the time before we buy a movie ticket or pick a film to stream, we have a pretty good idea of what we're getting into — no one ever went to go see "From Justin to Kelly" expecting cinematic gold. Yet sometimes there are films that we pray are at least SOMEWHAT entertaining and then let us down so much that we're stuck in a depressing bad movie fog for days. These films fall into this latter category, so much so that we suspect they all must have been an April fools' joke — there's just no way ANYBODY in the studio thought these 12 bombs would be good.
Thanks to Tim Burton revitalizing the Dark Knight in live-action cinema with 1989's "Batman," the Caped Crusader was once again a popular public icon. Things were going quite well until Joel Schumacher's "Batman & Robin." The cheese-fest of the movie plagued with more flaws than you can count successfully ended Batman's reign for almost a decade — and it goes down as not only the worst live-action Batman film to date, but just one of the worst movies in general.
With M. Night Shyamalan in the director's chair, you know you're about to either be blown away from a cleverly planned plot twist or waste about 2 hours of your life watching complete garbage. Unfortunately, "After Earth" falls into this latter category. We know Will Smith can sustain a movie by himself, yet a nonsensical plot (coupled with the most dead-behind-the eyes performance by his son Jaden) completely dragged this movie down. Will Smith even later admitted that the film was the "most painful failure" of his career.
2005's "Fantastic Four" and subsequent sequel were mediocre at best, so Marvel fans were surely hopeful that the 2015 reboot would be better. Unfortunately, they were given a major letdown with a film that was even worse than the original. The film suffered in many aspects, especially with its misguided gloomy/humorless tone. Seriously, when will this franchise get the proper treatment it deserves?
What happens when you allow 14 directors to produce a short comedy with some of the biggest names in Hollywood for an anthology film? Apparently, an embarrassing mess of a film, with each short as worse as the last — because that is exactly what "Movie 43" is. How they managed to get so many A-listers to sign up to produce the most outrageous and completely not funny gags in recent memory is quite a mystery.
Sorry Adam Sandler, but you just need to stop. We loved you in "Happy Gilmore" and "The Wedding Singer." We accepted you in "Mr. Deeds" and "50 First Dates." We can't stand to stomach one more "Grown Ups" movie or "Jack or Jill" or the least funny movie you've ever created, "Funny People." It's not for a lack of trying, but perhaps its time to hang up your comedy hat and try dabbling in something, you know, good.
Having recently won an Oscar for her performance in "Monster's Ball," Halle Berry was at the top of her game when she took a starring role in the DC based film "Catwoman." Apparently, filmmakers thought simply having Berry in some sexy leather costumes was enough to sustain a two-hour feature, because the storyline, dialogue and action sequences were all terrible.
Fans of the heroes in a half shell were pumped when the first live-action film in over a decade was announced. Sadly, not many people were exclaiming "cowabunga" over the final results, as the film fell incredibly flat. It seems the studio was simply trying to cash in on its title characters and abundant product placements rather than trying to create a heartfelt or entertaining piece of cinema. Even more unnerving is the fact that a sequel to it is in the works.
Hey, how about making a movie based off the comic "Rest in Peace Department" (aka a group of ghost cops) but let's try to be 100% serious with the material —oh, and have it star Jeff Bridges so we can just drag his career through the dirt? This may sound like a horrible joke, but it is an even more horrible reality. Besides the terrible treatment of the story and Bridges thinking he was starring in a Western, the film was so dim-witted that you could actually feel yourself losing brain cells while watching it.
Oh, "Battlefield Earth," where to start? Dealing with a post-apocalyptic future can easily err on the side of ridiculous (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), but this movie was beyond ridiculous (from the plot to costumes to the acting) yet it tried to take itself seriously. The film failed on every front and in epic proportions.
Can you believe M. Night Shyamalan has another movie that was a complete disaster? Really, has there ever been a more inconsistent film director? Shyamalan's big twist in "The Last Airbender" is how badly he was able to adapt such a popular source material. Even worse is the children he brought down in the process, allowing some truly cringeworthy performances to get to the final cut. Perhaps more of his attention was directed towards "Devil," a much better movie that was released only a few months later.
You can put your pitchforks down now if you got caught up in the truly shocking parade of good critical reviews over this period horror flick. Granted, it was well-shot, well-acted and did a great job of setting a brooding and menacing tone. But none of that even comes close to making up for the worst storyline ever written. Two shocking moments don't make up for the snooze-fest that characterizes a majority of the film, yet you hold on, thinking the ending will make up for the rest of the movie you suffered through. Then you are given the most ridiculous conclusion ever.
Remember that time FIFA funded 90% of a (propaganda) film about its own origins the same year all of its scandals were finally brought to light? Yeah, that didn't work out too well for either the heads of the organization or the movie, which only managed to take in $918 (!) during its opening weekend in the States. Considering soccer is the biggest sport in the entire world, this was quite disappointing, especially because a true film on the subject has great potential .