Sometimes revenge is the only option!

All posts have been edited for clarity.

"Call A Cab Psycho"
"Call A Cab Psycho"

"I dated a girl who I really liked, but she was always hot and cold to me, and when she was cold, she could really treat me like a bucket of liquid poop. It took me way longer than it should have, but I finally manned up and dumped her. She proceeded to alternately try to win me back and seduce my friends. Basically, an immature reaction from an immature person.

So, a couple of weeks later, I met an amazing girl at a concert, and we start dating. This new girl was awesome, cool, fun, and attractive, but within a week of dating her, I realized something else about her. My ex-girlfriend had had a job the summer before, which had her basically spending the whole summer with a girl that she had developed a major complex about. Wherever the two went anywhere together, guys would always hit on this other girl and never hit on my ex-girlfriend. It got to the point, that my ex-girlfriend had developed this major anxiety complex regarding this girl she worked with. By pure random chance, I had gone out and met the girl, and was now dating her.

The satisfaction I felt when I showed up at a party around a month after the breakup, and letting my ex-girlfriend see who I was with was immense. She had a total meltdown that included crying, screaming and ranting, before screaming at the guy she came with, 'Take me home right now, we're leaving!'

To which he replied, 'Call a cab psycho, I'm not taking you anywhere.'

It's the little moments in life that you have to cherish."

Bedside Sharpie
Bedside Sharpie

"I dated a cheating girl but I'll start by saying I was stupid and took her back after the first time. The first time she cheated it was with her 'ex-boyfriend.' I knew it was happening so I got her phone, got his number, and called him. He, naturally, didn't know anything about it and I completely believed him because she was a scum liar. So we set it up for her to meet him in a park to which I would be there too. Unfortunately, the ex-boyfriend couldn't follow through with it and the plans were foiled but her double life still blew up in her face.

But the second time it happened, I knew she was cheating on me with this dude named 'Tom.' So one afternoon I had her come over to my house. She said she had dinner plans and wouldn't be around that night. So I wanted to sleep with her one last time. 

While we were doing the deed, I took a sharpie marker that I had laying on my nightstand and wrote, 'Hi, Tom,' on her rear end. 

Again, he knew nothing about me, and, again, her life blew up in her face."

"Business Trips"
"Business Trips"

"Eleven years ago, I was working almost constantly and trying to deal with multiple deaths in the family over the period of a few weeks. I had no time for anything and almost went nuts trying to hold it all together. My now ex-girlfriend decided that she wasn't getting enough attention and started messing around on 'business trips.' Eventually, I busted her flat out. I taped a phone conversation of her talking with her friend about having great relations in Florida with a bunch of guys and that was it. She knew I had the tape, so denial wasn't an option. I decided to run with the truth, instead.

I left. Just left. I found a new place to live and at this point, simply spread a few documented facts around. Not rumors, not pooping on someone's property, just handing out documented facts.

She was mishandling corporate, state, and federal money at work on top of misreporting consulting income on her taxes. I wrote a couple of editors to publications showing where she had plagiarized materials. We both worked in academics. It was essentially the end of her career.

When she was held up to paying me the equity on the house we owned at that time, she pled poverty and then showed up for work in a new corvette. A few months later she moved to California and refused any payout on the house, which was on the market. I called the mortgage company directly and begged her new address out of them. They have the information and aren't supposed to give it out but when I explained the situation the woman at the mortgage company give it to me. My lawyer annihilated my ex-girlfriend who simply assumed she could hide from me and I had a check in my hand within the week. So then she was broke, discredited, and in serious trouble with the IRS and her funding agencies. Good enough.

She never went to jail but it was the end of her long-sought academic career and certainly the end of her credibility. Ten years on, she's managing a research institute out west but nobody respects her as anything but an office stooge and money-fluffer at this point. 

Should I have pooped on the corvette? Probably, but simply telling the truth rocks sometimes."

Military Girlfriend
Military Girlfriend

"I deployed for a six-month tour to the Helmand Province in Afghanistan.

A month into the deployment, I was just getting six months into my first real relationship. It was long distance, as I was stationed in North Carolina before deployment and she lived back home in New York. We were planning on getting married, but my Staff Sergeant gave me a little speech and I decided that it was best to wait until after the deployment.

She was already cheating on me four months into the relationship. I took it hard and that's all I thought about for six months while I waited to get back home. I had a bunch of her stuff, and she had some of mine. I never got any of my stuff back, but she had given me this tiny little dancer trinket to wear on my dog tags. Her mother had given it to her before she ran off, so it had some sentimental value to her.

Oh, and five months into my deployment, her new offender boyfriend who she left me for went back to prison for probation violation. I got a message over Facebook that she 'just found out she's six months pregnant, and it's mine.' There's no way you 'just find out you're six months pregnant.' It was obviously a sham to get me back, there was no pregnancy.

Six months later, I arrived back home. I went into the Subway where she worked, and lo-and-behold she's working. 

I walk in, and she started, 'Welcome to Sub-,' and cut off mid-sentence as she saw me, with a look of absolute horror on her face. 

I walked in, walked up to the counter, looked her dead in the eyes, set the dancer trinket on the counter, shook my head, and turned around, and walked out. I could hear her start crying before I got to the door.

I'm much more successful out of the military. I have a great job, an amazing girlfriend, and a sweet townhome. I'm about to get a dog here soon. I've never blocked her on social media, I just don't see her updates in my news feed. She pokes me every once and a while, but I never poke back. It's nice to know that she can watch me be successful without her, and I know her life is in shambles. About once a year she tries to message me and ask me how I'm doing, but it usually ends with her going on some depressing rant about how she messed up and wishes she never cheated on me and left me."

Ex-Girlfriend's Roommate
Ex-Girlfriend's Roommate

"My last girlfriend cheated on me. She and her roommate at the time had gotten to that point in their lease where they weren't super fond of each other and kept some distance. Her roommate was smoking hot and wasn't fond of my ex so I decided to make a move on her.

Best move ever. The look on my ex-girlfriend's face when her roommate walked me to the door in her underwear after the first night was priceless. I proceeded to stay the night for the next eight weeks until their lease was up and even for a while after that. 

My ex-girlfriend even walked in on us in the living room once. 

It was completely petty was it fun and there's no way I felt bad about it."

Administrative Access
Administrative Access

"During the last year or so of my marriage, I was spending a lot of time out of town, commuting for three or four days a week for work. One night I was working remote and decided to do some upgrades on my home computers, so I remote in and noticed that the connection was really slow. I did some network traces and found that my wife's computer was participating in a video chat with someone in another state, one where she has no family that I knew of. My curiosity piqued, so I started to monitor more stuff, like messages which were not encrypted.

Over the next few weeks, I kept my mouth shut as I collect more evidence, mostly from messages. I also had installed security cameras around my house because we had problems with the neighborhood kids, and eventually I caught footage of some guy coming and going from the house, at one point even driving my car. I still kept my mouth shut because I knew if I said anything my wife would just lie about it and somehow make me out to be the bad guy. I knew who the guy was by now, and I gathered more data on him. And then he did it. He connected his laptop to my network.

So, I'm a network engineer and security administrator by trade. I know networks, I know how to monitor them, and I know how to fiddle with data. My wife knew this, the guy she was messing around with knew this, but he was still dumb enough to enter my domain and play around on my network. I started grabbing usernames and passwords, email accounts, etc. I rerouted all of their web traffic through a proxy so I could monitor where they went and what they logged into. Eventually, I hit the jackpot. The guy ran a fairly well-known gaming forum that is a major source of revenue for him, and he logged in on my network.

I use his administrative username and password to log in and make a few administrative accounts for myself, naming them something inconspicuous and changing the account creation date to make them look old. At this point, I could have just wiped his entire site, but that would be too easy to fix. He could simply restore a backup. No, I had a better idea. Every day I went back and deleted random posts older than six months. Then I deleted every post older than six months. I did this for three weeks straight before the guy suspected anything. I noticed he killed one of my administrative accounts, so I quickly assigned administrative privileges to my wife's account then delete all my other accounts.

She called me in a panic because her new boy toy was flipping out on her because it looked like she is the one who 'hacked' the forums and deleted the content. Thousands of posts were gone and there was no way to restore them because a full restore would wipe out three weeks of new posts. She appeared to be the only other person with administrative access aside from the owner, and he was furious. I plead ignorance and pretended I never knew about the forum until she called me. There was no reason I would know about the forum. They never made the connection between him using my home network and his forum getting hosed. To this day, new users are not allowed on the site unless they are referred by an existing member.

They never figured out what happened. The incident caused him to break off whatever he had going with my wife, which really left her stranded when I told her a month later that I was divorcing her. I had collected enough evidence from their conversations and her forum posts to satisfy my need for closure. She still has no idea how much information I gathered about her second life."

Catfishing
Catfishing

"Back in high school, I dated a girl for six months before she decided it wasn't working out anymore. Instead of breaking up with me, she cheated on me with about six guys and stole my phone and wallet to buy illicit substances. I wanted to report her to the police as my parents encouraged me to and to prevent me from doing such her brother jumped me while I was walking home with his friends and busted open my lip pretty badly and threatened to kill me if I reported him or his sister. This was in South Florida, so I believed he would do it.

Shortly after, my dad got a new job and we moved to a new city. I was still furious about the whole situation so I did the next best thing. 

I created two fake social media accounts of a random hot girl and guy, spent some time making it look legit with friends and such, and added her brother as a friend with the girl and my ex-girlfriend with the guy.

It wasn't too long before he started flirting me up and tried his best to get in the girl's pants. On the other hand, having already courted my now ex-girlfriend, I knew exactly what to say to charm her to the point that she was in love with me. This is where it all begins to get fun.

I started a texting relationship between the brother and sister with me as the intermediate. Both of them had fairly typical South Florida bodies so nothing really gave anything away and I did a fair amount of photoshopping to remove identifiers in the room that may give away anything.

This went on for about a month and a half totaling about two hundred or so pictures between the two of them when I decided to reveal the curtain and send a group of unedited pictures that included key identifiers like their face and rooms.

Oh wow, did things go down. I only wish I had some way to see how they reacted. Friends who still lived there told me her brother moved in with his dad the same week and they no longer spoke.

All in all, it took about four months to get my revenge and it was completely amazing."

Best Friend
Best Friend

"My best friend since I was three years old, started texting and flirting, then eventually sleeping with my boyfriend of seven years. 

He was apologetic, regretful, and begged for me back, as was she. It was a mistake they said, it would never happen again they said. Until it happened again. 

Well, my best friend had this obsessive relationship with this guy who was so heartbroken by her infidelity, he came to me. He felt like a loser having just lost both his girlfriend and his job, so I hired him at my job where I was a manager. We became good friends, and my now ex-best friend was going nuts. I then started a rumor that the guy and I were dating and serious about it. 

She saw us in a car together, while I was bringing him home, and went absolutely nuts. She started driving like a psycho and texted me, 'How could you do this to me?Why would you do this to me?' 

I ignored them. I dipped off the road and dropped him off at home. Unfortunately, I had to fire him for stealing money from work.

All in all, I got my revenge. I messed with her head. I messed with my ex-boyfriend's head. I got them all upset but never actually did the horrible act of cheating they did. But they all think I did, and I'm okay with that."

Bodybuilding Ex-Boyfriend
Bodybuilding Ex-Boyfriend

"My girlfriend had an ex-boyfriend who was way into bodybuilding. She found out that he had cheated on her by finding used protection in their bedroom.

She emptied out his protein powder and added the used protection, then slowly re-added the protein powder, all the while mixing it up. That guy was drinking his own fluids for three weeks before he found it.

Needless to say, I've been a very good boy."

Expensive Laptop
Expensive Laptop

"My ex-boyfriend moved away literally overnight, cheated on me at least three times, and then completely stopped talking to me. Except he forgot that I still had his three thousand dollar laptop.

So, after a month of not speaking, he emailed me to ask for his laptop back. I sent it via UPS. But, when it arrived at the receiving station, I called the UPS number and asked for the package back. Apparently, the sender owns a package until it is signed by the receiver so, they turned around and sent it back to my place. He had the tracking number and was not too thrilled to learn that it had been sent back to me.

He demanded that I overnight the laptop back to him. 

I said no. 

So he demanded that I drop the laptop off at his former employer's office. 

I said no. 

He said if it wasn't in his custody within two days, that I would be hearing from his attorney. 

So, I asked for his attorney's address. 

He refused to provide it. 

Needless to say, I neither dropped the laptop off nor heard from his attorney.

I sent him a certified, return receipt, restricted letter stating he could pick the laptop up in person at my house. If he wasn't able to pick it up directly, he could send somebody to pick it up, but only if I received a signed and notarized letter from the owner of the chattel releasing the item into that person's custody, along with proof of ownership of the item.

I didn't receive either of those, so I dropped the laptop off at my local police department. They held it for six months, and then dropped it in a fifty-five-gallon oil drum, and burned it. I never heard from him again.

He did send a prepaid UPS label to send the laptop to him. I still have it, and it hasn't been used. Maybe I should UPS him something."

Long-Con
Long-Con

"My buddy had been dating a girl for two years and found out that she was cheating on him. He literally cried in his car for a few days. Hee was planning on marriage, kids, and the white picket fence with her. He didn't tell her he knew, he told her that he was going to his parent's house for a few days to help them with some repairs. Instead, he hung out with us and cried, literally cried in front of his buddies, for a couple of days. 

We helped him get out of it. He sobered up and told us how he was going to destroy her and I didn't even understand it at the time. But he was headed to a famous law school and was thinking way ahead of us.

He drove to his girlfriend's mother's house, over an hour outside of town, with her items from his apartment nicely boxed up, and said he wanted to leave them with her for his girlfriend. Her mom and he had met several times, he had gone to their house for Thanksgiving, etc. 

The girlfriend's mom was obviously confused not suspecting anything was wrong. 

He said something brief like, 'I don't think we'll be seeing each other again, but I needed to get this box back to her. But thank you for everything you've done for me. I'm sorry it didn't work out.' 

The girlfriend's mom was stunned and tried to ask what happened, and everything but my friend just started crying, ran off, and drove away. 

He never broke up with his girlfriend. He never even contacted her. She heard about it from her mom, who called her immediately, and he received confused and angry texts from the now-ex-girlfriend on his drive home. 

A little while later, he received an email from the ex-girlfriend's mom. 

I don't remember the specifics, but it was not, 'I apologize for my daughter,' but more like, 'I hope you find a woman who loves you unconditionally,' or something to that effect. 

He responded with something like, 'Thanks, your note means a lot to me,' nothing negative.

He is now an up-and-coming lawyer, and still gets texts from the ex-girlfriend saying that she constantly hears from her mom how she ruined it with the one good guy she had and how she doesn't deserve to be happy. My friend has never responded to one text and blocked her on social media. 

Of course, this was all one hundred percent planned.

My friend wanted the hurt to come from someone who would stay in his ex-girlfriend's life, not from someone who would be quickly forgotten. He deliberately created a rift in the closest relationship that two women can have. And all in a friendly sixty-second conversation with no harsh words or accusations."

Girl From High School
Girl From High School

"About four years ago, I found out my husband of ten years was messing around with a girl he went to high school with. They never dated because, according to him, she could just stick to more than one dude at a time. 

At this time, I was a full-time student and he was financially supporting us and our toddler. When I found out, I flipped out, understandably. 

He called me a psycho and decided he wanted to leave me for her. 

So I quit school for a year, worked two jobs, paid for the divorce, and supported our child by myself. 

I ended up supporting myself through school, graduating with honors, landing my dream job, and generally kicking rear end on my own. 

He, on the other hand, has been cheated on several times, lives in a terrible trailer park with his unfaithful girlfriend, and generally is a loser.

Karma got him in the end."