Some actions are impossible to live down. These mortified people took things a step too far and there was no going back. Almost every night their cheeks flush bright red and they mentally relive the most awkward moments of their entire lives. Hopefully there isn't too much second hand embarrassment while reading these stories! Content has been edited for clarity.
"In college, I had a lab with a guy I thought was very cute. He was nice, but we didn’t really know each other well outside of lab group and he made me kind of nervous. As soon as class ended every week, I’d hightail it out of the room because I didn’t want to deal with the awkward walk out together, often without really talking as we went down the hall. Side note, I was also on a medication for my skin at the time that made my upper lip sweat a lot. This poor kid was forced to sit next to me staring at my obscenely sweaty upper lip for two hours while talking about physics.
So one day the lab ends, I hightail it out of class, make it all the way down the hall, think I’m in the clear and from behind me a very quiet, 'Hey... what's up?'
I turn around to see Cute Guy walking down the hall behind me. He says, 'Huh, I’m surprised you heard me. You were already so far down the hall.'
What’s the response I come up with? Of all the things I could have said? I look this kid dead in the eyes, lip sweat-raging, put on a weird, deep voice, and I say, 'I’m Spider-Man.'
I think about that fairly often and want to die a little every time."
"There was one morning at my previous job where I worked as a drafting assistant (basically just a highly technical administrative assistant, who also performed technical writing) that I did something ungodly embarrassing. I was walking around one of the mechanical shops, checking up on a project, taking notes, pictures, marking stuff off - my usual routine. Well, as I come around the corner of the vehicle, there are two mechanical engineers working on the door. I can't recall exactly what I was checking at that moment, but in my attempt to get a good look, one of the engineers reached out his fist to give me a friendly morning fist bump.
Now, I'd love to be able to say that I was tired that morning, or that I was simply too preoccupied with what I was doing, but that would be a lie.
Here's what happened next. I lowered my clip board and my pen and I stared at his fist for a good moment. I then turned to look up towards the man's face. I stared some more. And then I turned my attention back to his fist and continued to look. The man was still holding his fist out waiting for me. But at this point, my lack of response got the attention of the other engineer he was working with. And so now he was looking at me. Two engineers staring directly at me, one with his fist out, and me looking at the fist. Finally, though, I begin to outstretch my hand. However, instead of reaching out and returning the fist bump in kind, I extended my index finger. The two men's attention followed my hand. And, like a child touching a foreign substance, I pressed my finger to his fist.
The man slowly returned his fist. He and his partner became transfixed on the part of his hand that my finger touched. The man held his hand up to see if I left a mark. His partner joined him in looking. There was no mark. They looked back towards me. I looked at them and then smiled.
I then made my way back to my office. I was about halfway there before I realized the absolute absurdity of my actions. Once I got back, I didn't leave my office for the rest of the day. Oof."
"I accidentally pooped on my friends pillow when I was 6, pretending to be a hurricane. That still haunts me.
Let me start by saying that this is gonna sound ridiculous, but it’s all true. Let’s go back in time to when I was six. I was staying over at friends house for a sleepover, and everyone knows six-year-olds are ridiculous. Upon waking up, we were playing with toys and stuff, and someone had a Nerf shooter and tried to shoot another kid. This kid said, 'You can’t hit me, I’m a tornado!'
And that’s it, he had no acting classes obviously, because he didn’t even try to portray it. Just said it like it was a fact and that we should take it to heart. But I knew he was a filthy liar and not a tornado. So, six year old me looks at said kid and something of the lines, 'The only thing worse than a tornado is a hurricane.'
Pretending to be hurricane isn’t hard. Especially when your 6. Sure, it’s hard to get into character and fully embody the destructive force that is a hurricane, but in the end I think I nailed it.
I spread my arms like a soaring eagle and begin to spin towards him. Fully taking in the destructive nature of a hurricane. Just really living it, you know? Now I don’t know if it was the spinning, or if it was what I ate the night before. But my little hurricane tummy must have been ready for a poop I wasn’t aware of. As I’m spinning, there is another friend whose house we all slept at. He was still in his sleeping bag on the floor, playing a Game Boy or some hand-held device. I went to jump over him. Now, the next part was just as unexpected for me as it was for the kids.
When I landed, it forced a fart out. Which graduated into poop. A full on graduation with honors. It magically made it out of my boxers and landed on his pillow, right next to his face. Everyone said it was gross. Nothing has ever stopped a hurricane in its tracks quite like that. I cried from embarrassment when I got home and stopped getting invited to sleep overs for a while.
And that is the absolute true story of how I accidentally pooped on a pillow pretending to be a hurricane."
"This is possibly the one thing that will haunt me to my deathbed and make me cringe from past the grave.
I was 10 or 11 years old and there used to be this girl that apparently had a crush on me. All her friends used to tell me she had a crush on me and she would run up behind me and give me a hug or sidle up next to me and hold my hand and various other things. Side-note, people used to make fun of my name and I wasn't exactly the most popular kid in school.
I thought this girl was messing with me because my mindset back then was essentially 'why would any girl be interested in me, and if they seem like they are, it's probably just a cruel joke and someone's waiting to pull the curtain.' I tried to gently pry this girl away the first few times, but she kept making advances, so I ended up telling her I didn't like her. When she asked why, I told her it was because she was ugly. I thought this was the only way to make the 'torture' stop and put an end to her and her friends' 'cruel joke.'
Admirably, she wasn't put off by even this and continued to try to ask me out and sidle up to me etc. This went on for a couple of months. And then, the incident happened. She came up and hugged me from behind one day. I was conscious that I was in bad shape, conscious of how I smelt, and being hugged by a popular, in shape, nice smelling girl just made me feel all the more beastly. I tried to break away. She held on, and I told her to get away from me. She held on and rubbed her head into my back, at which point, I twisted around and I swear to god, I don't know what possessed me to do this and WHY I ever thought this was a rational response, I bopped her on the head with my knuckles in front of a classroom of aghast viewers.
It wasn't hard, and she wasn't injured but it was definitely enough to make this all stop and make everyone hate me for a good few weeks. I think about this now and then, and I metaphorically kick myself for how I reacted."
"When I was in kindergarten, we had a beach day party. My teacher brought in a beach ball and we were all allowed to wear swimsuits. It just so happened that particular day was a little chilly, so my mom wouldn't let me wear a swimsuit to school. Instead, she put it in my backpack. Well, I was angry because I thought I was gonna miss out for not wearing the suit. So on the way to school, I went UNDER the bus seat and, thinking that no one could see me, proceeded to completely UNDRESS (yes, even my underwear) and put my suit on. Obviously, people were watching me. At one point, my butt was sticking out into the aisle, and I ACTUALLY YELLED, 'Don't look at my butt hole!'
I was told that we were gonna change at school, so I calmly got back under the seat and put my clothes on. Keep in mind, I was female and the majority of my bus mates were BOYS. But by some crazy miracle, I wasn't even SLIGHTLY embarrassed. How? I don't know."
"When I was in high school, kids would always wet those brown paper towels and throw them against the bathroom stall wall if someone was in the stall. I was using the bathroom when a buddy of mine comes in and does that to me. We laugh about it and leave.
Later that afternoon, I'm at track practice and the Principal and Athletic Director come down to the field and have a conversation with the head track coach. They both interrupt team stretching at the beginning of practice, so naturally everyone is so curious at what is happening. Just then my track coach turns to the group and yells, 'GET OVER HERE NOW!'
I walk over to him at the side of the stretching, and he still talking loudly, so obviously everyone is paying attention to the chaos happening and can hear the conversation He says, 'DID YOU TAKE A DUMP ON THE GROUND IN THE BATHROOM?!'
I was so confused, I was like 'Haha, what? NO!'
Anyways, I was forced to go up to the offices and talk with the Principal and Athletic Director.
At this point, everyone on the track team is whispering about how I clearly pooped on the bathroom floor. What had actually happened is that after my buddy threw that wad of wet paper towel at me and we left, a teacher had come into the bathroom and from across the room sees this brown thing on the floor. The teacher assumes it's poop. They go check the school cameras and see me as the last one walking out of the bathroom. He tells the principle, and I spent two hours doing science experiments showing the AD and Principle how what had actually happened could be perceived as poop on the ground.
I've never dealt with something so bizarre in my life. The teacher that told on me ended up having to apologize to me and that was also super awkward."
"This happens at least a couple of times a week. On the most recent one, I felt off the entire day for some reason, like I just couldn’t act like a normal person. So I was filling up some gas tanks and sprayed my feet with gas by accident (I was born without a sense of smell, important detail for later). Once my gas tanks were filled, I called my grandparents to tell them I was driving over to deliver some gas for their cars. They told me my cousin and her fiancé were over, so I should stay and say hi for a minute.
I walk in, say what’s up, and ask my grandpa for the keys. I greet everyone, and for no honest reason, I completely forgot my cousin’s fiancé’s name, even though my grandpa just told said it when I was on the phone not even ten minutes ago. First cringe.
Second cringe was after I dropped off the gas and came back inside. I walk back in, and my grandma tells me I smell like gas, so I should leave my shoes outside. For whatever reason, I just can’t keep normal conversation after I come back inside. I was accidentally talking over people, looking at the wrong person while talking to someone else, saying off-topic things, just being weird.
The last cringe was when my cousin and her fiancé were saying goodbye. I said, 'How about a hand shake?' as my cousin is already hugging me. As she looks at me, I mutter, 'You know, because of my gas.'
Note, only my shoes got a little gas on them. I swear I was stone-cold sober the entire day, and I’m not usually this awkward or weird. Safe to say that when I went home, I had a few stiff drinks and wondered what was possibly wrong with me for a while."
"I will always still cringe when I think about my first solo date back in high school. I had a huge crush on this girl. I thought she was really cool and I loved her art, so I couldn't believe she said yes to a date. We went to the zoo because it was free and we were just broke teenagers. We had a blast. Afterwards, we went to grab some food at this place before having to split off to go home.
Our trains were heading in the opposite directions and the entrances were across the street from each other. I walked with her to her entrance to say goodbye. I closed my eyes and awkwardly leaned in to give her a kiss goodbye and she went in more for a hug. I ended up headbutting her in the face and her nose started bleeding. I was so embarrassed and didn't know what to say, so I just asked, 'Are you okay?'
She replied, 'I think so.'
Still not knowing what to do, I just said, 'Okay, bye!' and then ran across the street to catch my train.
It was so painfully awkward and embarrassing, I avoided her for weeks after that."
"Once as a boy scout, we were tasked with making valentines for some residents of an old folks' home (I think that's what I believed at the time, but I probably hadn't been paying attention when they told us–I had no actual idea who the recipients were going to be). Being the morbid and hilarious kid I thought I was, I drew a detailed valentine consisting of a bunch of arrows piercing a gory, disembodied human heart, sort of sitting there slumped over in a puddle of blood.
Turns out, the valentines were for veterans. Like WW2, Korea, and Vietnam veterans. We were making valentines for a bunch of veterans and I handed mine this disgusting 2nd grader's illustration. I could barely contain my own glee as I handed it off to this totally bewildered, silent old man.
At the time, I didn't think of anything but the fact that I was awesome. In retrospect, oof, definitely not the best audience for a single-digit aged child just in stitches over the carnage they had doodled up."
"This just happened one week ago. See, I was part of a group that helped with orientation for the new freshmen in our school this year, so we were assigned to a class for orientation. In our class, there was this one boy who has muscular dystrophy. We’ll call him Jon.
Now, Jon obviously cannot walk up and down stairs, but he can walk without a wheelchair. When we had to take the freshmen on a tour of the school, I would accompany Jon in the lift and make sure that he doesn’t accidentally fall down. However, I, being the moron that I am, can’t recognize faces properly and forgot what Jon looked like after the first day. So the next day, we had to take the freshmen into the computer lab for a while, and we told them to sit down. Jon can’t sit down on the floor, so he just stood right there.
I noticed that Jon wasn’t sitting down and told him to sit down. Jon didn’t sit down and was too shy to tell me that he couldn’t sit down. I told him a bit stricter and stricter a few more times to sit down. He again was too shy to tell me that he couldn’t sit on the floor. I was about to smap at him. Then it hit me, this was Jon.
I wanted the earth to swallow me right there and then."
"When I was 8 or 9, I was practicing karate and I enjoyed it a lot. I was moving my way up through the belts rather quickly. One day we had belt ceremonies, where I would get the next belt if I did a certain routine. I ended up completing it all and moving up. I was so excited to tell my mom that I wasn’t focusing where I was at the time.
For some background, there are two of those one way mirror things looking into the main studio, so the parents can look on while not distracting the kids. One door opens to the hallway, and then there’s a door on the left and right to go into either of the rooms. Without thinking, I went into one of the rooms and saw a woman who LOOKED like my mom and ran up and hugged her from behind.
When I did that, this random woman turned around confused and kind of in shock. At that moment, my mom came in with my sister, who did her belt test before me in the opposite room. Upon seeing them, I started crying because I was embarrassed and scared that I could so easily mistake a complete stranger for someone I know so well.
The following week as we were driving to karate, I told my mom I didn’t like karate anymore and I never went back. It’s really dumb that I quit that way, but it literally shook my confidence. It took me a while before I forgot about that and started something else. Upon thinking about this, I’ve gotten a weird sensation that overtakes my body from time to time and kinda shuts me down, but through many more years of life, I realized that you’re in control of your actions. Your mindset is a very powerful tool in a successful life.
Moral of the story, don’t let small mistakes affect how you act and the decisions you make in the future."
"I was in kindergarten, and while it was nap time, I asked the teacher to go to the bathroom (the boys and girls toilets entrance didn't have doors). I walked in, and for some stupid reason, my five-year-old brain was like, 'Hmmm, should I pee into the toilet or the sink?'
I don't know what was wrong with me, but in my defense, I was like five, so like any stupid five-year-old, I peed into the sink. While doing so, one of the teachers came in to check on me, because apparently I was in there for too long. She walks in, looks at me, and she exclaims, 'Jesus! What are you doing!?'
I reply with, 'I'm trying out new things; you should too!'
I said this with an embarrassed yet quite happy expression. The teacher then just slowly backed away with a disgusted look and left. At the same time she was leaving, I felt an instinctive embarrassment way down deep in my soul.
She never mentioned it to anyone. Not even to other teachers. Things were never the same. I could never focus properly when she was around or close to me, which ruined my whole kindergarten experience. I beat my self up over it going forward, all because of a snap judgement one ordinary afternoon. If I just had said something like, 'Oh, I'm sorry Miss, I don't know what I was thinking!' then Kindergarten wouldn't have been so bad."
"There’s a woman I go to school with. She and I were friends during our first semester (we were both freshman). Things didn’t really work out in that department (for multiple reasons on both of our ends).
We have mutual friends, and I find her physically attractive, but my feelings toward her are a mixed-bag. During freshman year, I was leaving a room one day and almost walked right by her. When I noticed it was her, my brain and heart panicked simultaneously. After fighting it out, the two came to the conclusion that the perfect response to this dilemma was to start laughing maniacally.
She stopped, turned around, and stared at me. Other people who left surrounding rooms stopped to stare at me. I was so mortified, but I couldn’t stop. I’m pretty sure I was still laughing as I made my escape.
Not my proudest moment.
Seeing her brought on a lot of emotions at once, it was the first time I had seen her since our falling out, and I think it broke me. It could’ve been a mix of me being horrified to have to interact with her, angry that she would dare show her face around me again (I was such a gentleman, I know), upset that I can’t say 'hi' to her like I used to, and me being pleased to physically see her because she’s pretty. A lot of conflicting emotions at once can’t be good on the heart or brain. I actively attempted to avoid her after that."
"From time to time, I think about this and uncontrollably laugh at myself for it, years after it occurred.
I worked as a chef in a fairly new and busy restaurant. I seemed to catch the interest of my co-workers, and after a week or two, was invited back to their house with the waitstaff and a couple other chefs. The house was basically a party house occupied by two brothers. Typical party house, massive stereo, massive worn couches, bottles everywhere, and a rusted gross fridge. No other furniture other than a bed in each of the brother's rooms.
The two brothers and a bunch of waitstaff all just sat in the lounge, spread out between couches and milk crates, listening to music and taking turns to show each other a song that you just need to listen to while blazed (there was about 8 of us there).
So anyway, it comes around to me to pick a heavy metal song. The song starts slow and builds, adding in layers progressively. Everyone was nodding their heads and went silent to listen, so I knew it grabbed them quickly. I’m sitting there remembering where the song actually leads to and just how heavy it becomes, also coming to a sense of the type of music these people listen to isn’t metal. I’m dreading the end of the songs opening passage. I’m thinking inward and beginning to worry what perception these new people will have of my personality, based on the music I decided to show them.
Guitars ring. The beautiful riff I enjoy so much finally arrives, and my head and body feel it. I look over to see everyone’s body language. Maybe one other person is hit with the urge to move. The rest are just blank expressions and stiff eyebrows, and then the lyrics hit.
'WATER OF CHAOS HAVE INVADED ALL SPACE, THE FLOOD ON EARTH AGAIN, I HAVE TO FIND THE WHALES!'
The feeling of regret and the looks I received from the group filled me with embarrassment and total shame, so my face flushed bright red. I felt like I had given a part of myself to a group I thought I was bonding with, and I knew instantly the judgement of the group, as their eyes frantically wondered and searched for a something to disassociate themselves from the atmosphere created by my choice of song. Within 30 seconds of lyrics hitting, the group came to a consensus to move on to the next person's choice.
I nearly instantly stood up, wished everyone a good night, and left in a hurry.
Whenever I think of that night and that moment, I grunt loudly and laugh in embarrassment. I feel my face flush red and the shame rushes over me from that night. Memories can be a wild ride."