Kevin And His Secret Roommate

Dean Drobot/

Kevin And His Secret Roommate

Long story short, Kevin stays silent, and a few days later we come by to serve him papers and to begin the eviction process. Kevin's no-named roommate turns out to be a felon who is out on parole. We were right across the street from a school, old Kevin was violating offender legislation. Thank goodness he left without much of a fight and were able to dump the condo at a modest profit."

A Trashed Apartment And A TV Appearance


A Trashed Apartment And A TV Appearance

"My mom had some tenants in a rental property who apparently were serial crap sacks and would live in a place until they got evicted, then move on to the next one. They'd do things like not pay rent while claiming the air conditioner was broken or some other property related issue then avoid letting it be examined or fixed. Long story short, after getting evicted, they waited until the last minute to move out, left a bunch of their stuff behind, and filled a microwave with hot dogs which they left to rot.

While my mom was in the process of getting a court order, the TV show 'Hot Bench' (a Judge Judy spinoff) called and asked them to come on. Everyone got flown out to Los Angeles, and my mom got her money and the crap sacks got berated on national daytime TV, so I suppose it worked out in the end."

A Completely Crazy Neighbor Ruins Everything


A Completely Crazy Neighbor Ruins Everything

"I had a tenant call me because the toilet needed fixing. I came over to check it out. Simple fix; just needed to run to Home Depot. Then she says there was something else.

It was the across the street neighbor, a 20-year-old male. He was apparently off his meds and was performing theatrics, a bonafide drama king throughout the night: yelling, screaming, pacing in and out the slamming the front door. He was schizophrenic to my untrained diagnostics. All hours, for three nights and days, just ranting. My tenant felt concerned and nervous. I suggested calling the cops for noise complaints.

I took off to Home Depot and got what I needed, returned to find the guy was outside yelling about aliens and Queen Elizabeth invading. No biggie. I go inside and fix the toilet. I reassured her that he seemed harmless. I ask, 'has he made any threats?' She says no. I decide to scope out the fellow. I go outside, made friendly eye contact, a smile, a wave, and a 'Hi.' He proceeds to go on a barely coherent rant, barely acknowledging me but did say, 'hey you,' as I was walking back into the house. I reassure them of his concerning the mental condition and promise to figure a way to contact his landlord and advise calling the cops if it went past midnight.

I leave and now he is on my property, ranting like he's in a play. This frightens the girls, so, having enough and being Texan, I kindly request, then kindly advise him to return to his property. He doesn't acknowledge, so I call the cops for trespassing.

Cops show up and he runs inside. He doesn't make any direct threats, and as the cops say, 'it's not illegal to be crazy inside your own house.' Nothing can be done. Now, the other neighbors are scoping out what's going on, with the cops called. I speak with them about the current situation, calm them down. One lady was going to look into Mental Health Hotlines.

Things calm down for a few days. I've never met the crazy man's landlord and had no contact. I wasn't sure how to reach out, as all I knew, the landlord lived in California. I poke around on some public records but get no real results.

Friday approaches, it's SXSW Interactive Festival and I'm the CTO of a virtual reality startup. Our investors are hosting a Roof Top event, we have some B-celeb musicians with record labels reps, guests, our company, and of course our big donor-investors.

I'm key to the tech operation of the event; a bit stressed showing off some hot new finicky tech. I get a call from another neighbor saying that the crazy guy was out ranting, and a jogger passed by and overheard the crazy cry out, 'I'm GOING TO RAZE THE GREEN HOUSE DOWN.' The jogger stops and says, 'excuse me?' Crazy has gone aggravated and repeats 'I'M GOING TO RAZE THE GREEN HOUSE DOWN.' That was my house and so the jogger informs the neighbor who called to inform me. NOT THE BEST TIMING DUDE. This was one of my major events of the week.

I duck out to the bathroom to call the cops again. Fortunately, it was nearing the end of the event, so I pack up the tech to the extent that required my attention, informed the Party VIPs of my exit and booked it to my property. Three cop cars are there and the crazy guy ran back inside. Again, there's not enough to bust in.

I speak with everyone, give them the news, my plan for next steps, and calmed them down. The lady looking into mental health got a number but didn't have it on her. I said I'd come back tomorrow. She also gave the news that the guy was living alone. He was dumped by his mother at that house because she was also not mentally fit to care for herself, let alone him. Crazy runs in the family, I guess. The father was a wealthy contractor working in the Middle East that disowned him but had the obligations to pay his rent and bills. There was a guy that came by periodically to 'provide food' and make sure he was okay. Great, so the crazy dude had no responsibilities. And only had the one visitor per a week.

The next day I drive by and see the visitor. I stopped to speak with him, informing of the ruckus the crazy guy was causing. The visitor said he's got meds, but was beyond his duties to ensure he takes them daily. He shared with me his business card and left swiftly.

I go over to the neighbor with the mental health hotline number and said, enough is enough, one more outbreak and we'll call them. After chatting, I'm walking back to my truck.

The crazy dude has a samurai sword and swinging it while reciting his theatrics. He stood in my way of my truck. While on the phone with 911, the dude goes 'KILL ME, KILL ME, KILL ME NOW!' and runs into the house with the sword.

I explained the history to the 911 operator and the sword. Ten cop cars show up in a standoff. I walk to one and he busts out of a trunk what appears to be a weapon. I'm thinking great, we're in Texas and they won't tolerate anything. It's about to go down.

The crazy dude eventually comes out of the house in his mad hatter ways and gets tackled. Thank god there were no weapons involved. The cops see the sword on his couch and enter. The crazy guy gets arrested and I will say, they must have had some mental health training because they handled him with utmost professional kindness and caring manner.

I calm the neighbors and tenants. Days go by, and the dude turns up again, but much more sane. At this point, the girls are seeking to break the contract to move away from him. Thanks, buddy.

A week goes by, he's starting up again, but soon after the kid disappears. The last anyone saw of him was with a backpack packed up and was planning on walking to a festival? There were no festivals that I knew of going on in the state. He had left all of his belongings. His father had auto pay going for many many months. Not my problem. Eventually, new neighbors moved in.

We need better social mental health care in Texas!"

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