Weddings can cause irreversible damage and wounds that never heal. It's this kind of family that this story is about. It involves one happy couple, whom we'll call Alec and Betsy and Alec's narcissistic, racist and just downright nasty mother, whom we'll call Nadia. The epic story of their wedding and their revenge on Nadia was told by a good friend who we'll call Dieter, and she was all too happy to see Nadia put in her place.
Let's be honest, even the most loving families with great communication can get stressed to the bone when it comes to planning a wedding. Small squabbles become giant fights. The calmest among us sometimes let out the inner beast over the most mundane things. But what about families that already have trust issues? Families that don't communicate? Families that don't always get along?
For families like that, weddings can cause irreversible damage and wounds that never heal. It's this kind of family that this story is about. It involves one happy couple, whom we'll call Alec and Betsy and Alec's narcissistic, racist and just downright nasty mother, whom we'll call Nadia. The epic story of their wedding and their revenge on Nadia was told by a good friend who we'll call Dieter, and she was all too happy to see Nadia put in her place.
Alec and Betsy were head over heels for each other, but for the entire first year that they dated, Alec's mother, Nadia, refused to even acknowledge that Alec had a girlfriend. As Dieter put it: "The first year of the relationship she pretty much ignored he had a girlfriend, until she see's a photo." After Nadia saw a photo of the happy couple, things went from bad to much worse.
Betsy is Sinti. Sinti are Romani people, originally from Central Europe, most of whom have settled in Germany where this story took place. The Roma people are often looked down on, derided as crooks and scammers, often called the pejorative "Gypsy." Their long history is filled with times of great strife when they were racially segregated and worse. In Nazi Germany, they were targeted the same as the Jews were, rounded up into concentration camps and executed or used as slave labor. Pockets of racism still exist in Germany and Nadia was in one of those pockets. Dieter notes that Nadia thought Betsy was a "few shades too brown for her taste," and that was one of the nicer things said about her. She had much more to say.
Nadia called Betsy a "golddigger" and a "scam artist," and worse. But Alec wouldn't hear this nonsense. According to Dieter, Alec "has a steel spine" and in response to his mother's boorish behavior, he cut off contact, or "put her in timeout", as Dieter said. This timeout reset every time she would attempt to reach out and as a result, Alec didn't speak to his mother for more than a year.
Nadia didn't learn her lesson though. Instead of doing the mature thing and accepting Betsy as the woman his son loved, Nadia simply "changed tactics."
"[Nadia] had realized open warfare was not something she could win, so she decided to switch to guerrilla tactics. The absolute highlight was creating 2 fake Facebook profiles, one for Alec, and one for Alec's ex, with which he had spent 4 years of his life. She sent texts back and forth for months and in them created a fake affair."
But not surprisingly, she messed up.
The mistake Nadia made? She attempted to frame her son when he went on a business trip by saying in the messages that he was meeting up with his ex. But Alec didn't end up going on the business trip. Dieter explains, "The texts basically claimed his ex had come with him and they had hooked up every night. What [Nadia] did not know was that [Alec] never went. It fell through a week prior, and he took the days off instead to do a short trip with [Betsy]. So he had the best possible alibi for the time."
Nadia thought she was so sneaky when she screenshotted and printed out the whole conversation to show Betsy. And at first, it actually worked! Betsy was completely devasted to learn her one true love was sneaking around with his old fling. Yet when she came across the bit about the business trip that never happened, it was clear this was all a facade.
The angry couple was quick to point the finger at Nadia, who of course denied having anything to do with it. Still, it couldn't be more obvious - Nadia was completely busted. As punishment this time, Alec "placed her in time out" for another 9 months. Nadia STILL did not get the message. She was that determined to break them up, but Betsy and Alec held strong.
Despite keeping contact with Nadia to a minimum, Nadia still took her shots at Betsy. Dieter said "The rest of their relationship until the engagement was mostly [Nadia] being completely unbearable, like leaving constant hints at her being not trustworthy (she learned her lesson about sneak attacks and racist rants at least), bringing up news stories that showed Sinti in a negative light, etc... But since they're barely in communication, meeting twice a year and the occasional phone call, she did not have many opportunities."
When Betsy accepted Alec's hand in marriage and they got engaged, Nadia lost it.
Out of the gate, Nadia tried her hardest to sabotage the wedding. Dieter told it best, "The actual wedding planning began, and it was a total crap show. When she was asked for an address list of friends and family, she actually gave them false addresses, in the hopes once the cards would have been returned it would be too late to send a new batch to the actual addresses. Of course, the cards came back within a week, and this time they were smart enough to ask someone else for the addresses, and simply did not tell her."
As bad as that is, she was just getting started, Dieter explains, "She started a rumor campaign about [Betsy], that was at least partially successful, so the communication to Alec's side of the family got worse and worse."
Then she got down to some more straight sabotage.
"She tried to just cancel the flowers, but since the florist knew the bride, he called her to confirm. After that everything was secured with passwords. This way, they found out she also tried to cancel the venue, change the whole menu (most of the bride's side of the family are vegetarian, and she tried to change it to an all meat menu) and other similar shenanigans," Dieter tells us.
Finally, the straw that broke the camel's back was when Nadia recruited part of Alec's family to attend the wedding "in black mourning clothes, to make it clear this was not a day of joy for them, but a day of mourning since her son made the biggest mistake of his life."
That was it. Betsy and Alec had had enough and they began to plan their revenge and it would be glorious.
The happy day is finally upon us and the guests begin to arrive. This would not be like any other wedding they had ever attended.
Once the crowd was seated, the officiant of the wedding stood up and addressed the gathered friends and family members. He begins his address by saying that the couple was running late and they would be arriving in 30 minutes or so. But first, they have a DVD that would like to show everyone. The DVD was a well researched and presented case proving how awful Nadia had acted for the last year. As Dieter said, "They had collected evidence, and witness accounts detailing exactly how sneaky [Nadia] had been while she tried to sabotage the wedding."
The evidence was overwhelming and included "an account of the food deliverer saying that [Nadia] had tried several times to change the menu. This was followed by the florist's story of how she had tried to cancel all the flowers for the wedding, including a message she left on the answering machine trying to act like she was [Betsy], but everybody that knew her, could hear it was [Nadia]."
Nadia was stunned, but she wouldn't stay silent after the next bit in the video.
After the testimonials from the vendors, the DVD continued. Now it was Alec's brother's turn. Alec's brother had worked as a spy for Alec to expose Nadia's racism and nastiness. The DVD played conversations between Alec's brother and Nadia where Nadia trash talked and displayed the full range of her racism and hatred toward Betsy. Nadia lost it. Dieter said "Once she started to hear those words, she suddenly screeched like a banshee and stormed to the front to stop that DVD."
Before she could make it to the front, she was stopped by three other men that were in on the plan. It turns out, most of Betsy's family was in on the plan. They acted cool and calm as the DVD started but as it played they "shot daggers with their eyes" towards Nadia as she recoiled back into her seat after attempting to stop the DVD.
After the DVD ended, an announcement was made.
Betsy's father stood at the front of the room and announced that there would be no wedding that day. The wedding was over. Betsy and Alec had gotten married secretly, a week before.
He said, "Our daughter could have accepted they do not like her and had tried for years to forge a good relationship with all of you, especially with [Nadia], but to no avail, she was either insulted or shut down."
So, they had hatched their plan. Betsy's father continued, "the couple has decided your side of the family does not deserve to be at the wedding. I hereby inform you that there will not be a wedding today at all. Months ago they changed everything to a different date. My daughter and your son have been married since a week ago."
We can assume that the gasps in the room were something to behold, but Betsy's father wasn't finished. He continued, "That way we could ensure there are no further evil plans to ruin this young couple's wedding, and we all had a wonderful time. Without any of you there, it was a day of joy and a day where everybody was happy for the couple and supportive of them both. Right now they are already on their honeymoon and will return in four weeks. Since the wedding was so much smaller than originally planned, they had a way bigger budget for that."
And that was that. The revenge was complete. The couple wasn't even in town and Nadia did not have a chance to sabotage her own son's wedding.
Not surprisingly, no one protested and Alec's family and Nadia herself didn't respond. How could they?
The relationship with Nadia and the couple has improved slightly as a result, though it took a long time for Alec to get back in contact and even then, it's been limited. And honestly, who can blame him?
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