"My brother and I never had the best relationship. Our parents were very young when they had him and they messed up a bit, so by the time they had me they 'knew what to do.' I guess he was jealous of me, but he had a grudge against our parents.
So one day I came home to find out our mom had been taken to the hospital. My dad ran back and forth checking on her and checking on me at home, all the while calling my brother (who was away for college at the time) to tell him her status. She ended up dying. I was only a kid and it was very traumatic, especially for my dad because they were high school sweethearts. When my dad called for the last time, my brother answered the phone and asked if she was dead yet. My dad still cries when he remembers that moment."
"When we were about 8 my brother and I got into a fistfight. It literally went on for hours as my other brother looked on. At one point, when I had the upper hand, my little brother threw a rock at me and which hit me in the chin and blood started pouring down my chest. With that, he turned and ran back towards home as fast as he could go.
I held my shirt to my chin and slowly walked home. When I got there I was stunned to discover that I was in trouble. Turns out my brother, quite ingeniously, had bitten his own arm while he ran home. I mean to the point of drawing blood and then accused ME of doing it. So whatever damage he'd done with the rock had been balanced by the injury I'd allegedly inflicted by biting him.
That's when I realized he was a bad, and really sneaky, person. He ended up spending most of his life in one prison or another. That particular moment was a predictor to a deceitfulness and immoral character that informed the rest of his life."
"We were home alone fairly frequently growing up, either for an hour or so after school or pretty much every day, all day during the summer. During those years (age 10-17), my brother: sliced my hand open with a knife resulting in many stitches, held a knife to my throat for insulting his girlfriend, assaulted me by cornering me and touching me, would make me stay in my room by threatening me with knives, or his BB weapon (Y'all, BBs hurt from point-blank range). Occasionally he'd slip food into the door because he'd make me stay in there for a good 7 or 8 hours, punch me in the face, lit my hair on fire.
I never told my parents. I was too scared to. For some reason, I was convinced they wouldn't believe me or that it wouldn't matter. As an adult, I realize this thought process was ridiculous. If I'd told, my parents would've absolutely stepped in. But they worked full time, so we spent all of our summers by ourselves and about an hour after school every day.
In retrospect, perhaps my anxiety disorders are not only the result of brain chemistry.
As for him, he's calmed down a lot, but he's still very selfish. I honestly think he's a low-level sociopath because he can be very charming and gregarious, but he also has no problem using people. And he honestly doesn't see an issue with his behavior. Fortunately, his violent tendencies seem to have dulled with age. Obviously, though, I'll never truly be comfortable around him."
"He literally kicked and stepped on a puppy while we were walking.
The poor thing squealed and the girl who owned it was almost sobbing. He didn't look back or acknowledge any of it. I don't know if the dog was okay. I think it lived but I don't know. He didn't stop.
When I demanded to know what the heck was wrong with him, he shrugged and said, 'It was in my way.'
He's always had a disturbing lack of empathy and this is just one short example."
"My brother used our shared childhood love of Star Trek to distract me while he systematically emptied my father's bank account of his life savings to pay for his blow habit.
You see, I knew that he was struggling with his substance abuse problem, so I asked him if there was anything I could do to help. He said he wanted to try to get some normality back and establish a routine, so he asked me to watch Star Trek with him every night and chat on the phone to keep him occupied while he was recovering. I thought it was sort of sweet, we watched loads together when we were younger and it seemed like a simple enough request.
Some strange things had been happening a few days before that, pa's mobile phone had mysteriously gone missing and we were trying to work out where it had gone. Turns out this was key in my brother being able to access his bank accounts online. When he made the final transaction, he was chatting to me like nothing was happening while watching our first episode of The Next Generation.
He then completely cut me off the moment he was done transferring money. If I hadn't been tied up watching Star Trek talking with my brother on the phone, my father would have gotten through to me when he called and there's a chance we would have found the phone earlier and stopped this from happening to happen, but maybe not.
My father was a single parent who had worked as a janitor to support us and still is supporting my brother who is now 29. He was really careful with money, never did anything spendy.
I've been unable to visit for two years because he goes psycho crazy when I do.
He emotionally blackmails my dad and manipulates him, knowing my dad just wants to do anything he can to help my brother get better.
Still, my brother refuses to wear clothes at home and walks around off his face jacking off when he feels like it. He breaks things, he takes whatever he wants, while getting completely taken care of.
My father will do absolutely anything to avoid a confrontation with my brother, no matter what the personal cost, which makes it virtually impossible for me to help him. He refuses to report the substance abuse or theft to the police, he thinks he is looking after his son by not. If I did he would never speak to me again.
In the beginning, I talked him into taking brother to the doctor to get help. It was so hard to get him there. He disappeared before two appointments, then the third he went but wouldn't let father go in with him. Came out with leaflets on sleep hygiene. Didn't talk about anything he was supposed to, just told them he couldn't sleep.
My father then went to counseling but was only entitled to four sessions. I'm not sure if they talked about how bad things really were, but they did tell him many parents have kids with substance problems. Also that more and more kids are living with their parents longer.
The end result was these sessions just reinforced the idea all this was normal, or not unusual.
I don't really know where else to go with it, they're both adults and if asked they would both lie and say nothing is wrong.
Looking back now I can see all the other bad things he did I put down to being young, or let him off because he was my brother and I loved him. Now I just realize his a self-serving waste of skin."
"I came to the full realization my little sister wasn't a good person when she chose to abandon her three children ages 3-9 at a hospital rather than allow them to stay with one of her three sisters or mother. She says she was stressed out and that's understandable but I have, along with my sisters and mother, told her many times that we can help her. She actually seems jealous of her kids and the fact that we pay attention to them and do for her kids more than she does.
She now has the kids back and she prohibits them from seeing us, saying it is our 'lifestyle,' meanwhile, her younger two kids have told me, in so many words, that she 'gets it on' with her husband while they are in the room sometimes. This is why child protective services have been involved in her life more than a few times. She always finds a way to wiggle out of trouble and she has disappeared more than a few times to avoid an FPS case. It's disturbing when a 3 and 6 year old are describing the acts!
She is a terrible mother and a trashy individual."
He complained about having to pay $600 a month in child support for his daughter. At that time his monthly income from his trust averaged about $36,000 a month. His ex-wife's new husband wanted to adopt his daughter a couple of years later and he was happy to sign away his parental rights. He also started dating his best friend since childhood's horrible ex-wife less than a month after they were divorced. This was a woman that put his best friend through the total ringer and left him a broken mess and the only reason she dated my brother was because she knew it would destroy him all over again. My brother can't say no to crazy women and it has cost him millions."
"About 11 years ago my sister was about 6 months pregnant. My daughter was 8 at the time and loved spending time with her 'fun aunt' (my sister). We were all going go play mini golf but needed to take separate cars. My daughter wanted to ride with 'fun aunt' but my sister lied to my 8-year-old and told her I said she couldn't ride with her. My sister then told my daughter 'if your mom is going then I'm not.' Then she called my 8-year-old a liar when my daughter told me fun aunt said all this. She stood there in front of us and swore she never said it.
My 8-year-old was crying, wondering why aunt was calling her a liar. To this day sister denies saying it. Later my sister's husband told me she, in fact, did say it and the only reason she didn't want us going is that she wanted to smoke. She smoked all throughout her pregnancy. My nephew was born early and low birth weight and was in NICU for 3 weeks very sick, all because she smoked during pregnancy.
Luckily he's pretty much fine in most ways. He has tics (minor Tourette's) that get worse when he's nervous. He has a little ADHD. But he's SUPER SMART and seems to be fine. I wouldn't say my sister is the greatest mom but she's ok and he seems well adjusted."
"When my brother was dying and I was struggling to help him, I asked my other brother to help out. He said 'Ignore him, the state will take care of him.' I drove 1,100 miles in the middle of the night so my brother wouldn't die alone.
My deadbeat brother did pretty much the same thing when my mom was dying. He said he 'wanted' to come see her, so I sent him plane tickets instead of money to buy tickets because I knew all too well he would spend the money not on tickets. He was mad."
"I've known it for many years. I'm in my 50s now, but knew it when I was a pre-teen. He just couldn't accept people getting along. He would always look to start fights, keep tension and draw attention. He seemed to draw pleasure from people being unhappy. Things were never fair in his mind.
My parents tried many different ways to make him feel 'special,' but it was never enough. He never felt like things were fair. He truly caused them heartache. One parent gave up near death and accepted that he wasn't going to be a better person. The other parent would just cry.
This sibling has stolen from almost everyone around him and when confronted, it's somehow our fault or problem. He would want to fight and threaten.
He even took on other's identities for criminal matters causing innocent people to be in uncomfortable and embarrassing situations. Such as, having a felony warrant for your arrest, having a criminal conviction for something you've never done, etc.
I don't know what is wrong with this sibling, but he has caused so much unhappiness and upset around him. It hurts to even discuss it at times. But, I can assure you one thing I've realized, people can be your family without sharing blood and can share blood and be your enemy."
"My whole family is garbage. I was constantly treated as the scapegoat for everything. Did brother make a mess? I had to clean it. Did dad get mad at one of my sisters? I got yelled at when the end of the night rolled around. They never stood up for me, and when I spoke out my siblings gaslighted me into believing I was the problem.
When I was about 12 I heard from my little sister's friend that she and my aunt were doing...illicit things... CPS was called and my aunt [who was camping out at our place to get out a bad situation in her life] was removed. My sister wouldn't speak to me for AGES because I told CPS. I had no idea of anything specifically illicit going on but my aunt had been sharing a bed with my sister [something that weirded me out as my aunt was like 30 and there were still 2 beds in the room]. I haven't heard from my aunt in 10+ years.
My parents got a divorce while I was 11 hours away from home in college having my own problems with anxiety, depression and the works on top of financial issues, having been one of those A+ students who never had to study her whole life. During the whole mess, my parents and siblings would drag me into it while I had gone 11 hours away to get away from it all. My mother was having suicidal thoughts because my siblings refused to talk to her and gaslighted her the whole way through. Even now that she's stopped drinking and smoking my older sister won't let her see her grandkids even though she's been clean for 3+ years and is generally a complete witch to my mom. I moved 3 hours away to get away from my father who was mentally/verbally/not quite physical but still threatening. My younger sister [read: daddy's girl] still sends snaps of him and his girlfriends on occasion and 'doesn't understand' why I won't speak with him or his family.
I've had a long history of gaslighting and abuse from my family and moved away and I'm still gaslighted every week. I took a dog from the house because they never spent any time with her and complained she was always a pain in the behind. She was 15 pounds overweight and they were giving her the thyroid meds she needs to be healthy a third as much as they should and now message me demanding photos because they 'miss her.' They asked me to visit with her once a month even though I live 3 hours away and they don't know where I live. Once I have had her for a year and have sent them enough photos I'm cutting them out of my life for good and will ghost them into oblivion."
"My older sister is just a mean girl with no respect for anyone but herself. Kind of manipulative too.
On the mean side, she's told our sister-in-law that she's not a good mother and that my infant cousin actually prefers her (sister) over her mother. Also, she asked when my sister in law was losing the baby weight. Like she's always been a bigger gal, the only thing she's losing is her patience.
She found out I'm gay through stalking my friends and finding my blog and completely outed me to my family. Smirking the whole time but then tried playing hero and 'talking' to our parents about it. She calls me her 'token gay' and says she's glad to have a gay encyclopedia around. When she outed me, my parents wouldn't talk to me for months. They eventually forgot it, and she reminded them again. The cycle of them not talking-forgetting-getting reminded continued for like 5 years? I was a teen at the time and it really was just heartbreaking. My parents don't care anymore. Maybe because the shock factor is gone, or just because I don't mention it anymore.
On the crazy side, she had a legitimate breakdown while our family was playing Pokémon Go. Why? Because I didn't let her take my phone so she can activate a lucky egg for me. I told her I wasn't wasting an egg, so she tried taking my phone from me to do it herself. I obviously am not letting my phone go, and she starts crying because I 'won't let her into my life.' My mom made me (early 20s) give my sister (mid-20s) my phone so she would stop crying. I locked it before handing it over.
She had another breakdown recently. Almost a year after I moved for college, I came to visit my family for the weekend. Parents had plans to go to a market with my niece, who we were picking up by 10. My sister said she was coming too. Well 9:30 comes, my sister says she's on her way. 9:45 and she's still not there, so we tell her we need to leave to pick up my niece. We get a call from her nearly an hour later with her in tears because we didn't wait for her. We couldn't wait since my sister-in-law needed to go to work and we needed to get her daughter. It was absolute hysteria on the phone with my sister as she claimed we did it on purpose, making her waste gas by driving the 10 minutes to our place. It was planned that we were going to leave her alone and that it was just proof we didn't care about her.
This was the first time I've seen my mother flip anyone off and then swear at her own child for being so darn dramatic over stuff that doesn't matter. I wish it would happen more often."
"I recently had a big realization about my brother after he told me that my suicide attempt wasn't 'real' and I should just get over it (I don't exactly discuss it too often since it's very personal and happened ten years ago).
I sometimes have to be hit in the face with a brick to come to realizations that should be obvious, and it really made some things click for me. I had thought he only said awful things like this when he was in a particularly bad mood, was having a depressive period with his bipolar disorder, etc -- since depression can make a person cynical and sometimes that can cause you to view the world in a cruel light. But these are his actual thoughts, not just him in a bad mood or something; they were representations of his character and his genuine opinions.
He also does things like telling me not to write a novel or read fiction (because he doesn't value in fiction) and says that I should 'get over' random stuff all the time, even when he has no personal context for my experiences. He constantly says things like that we have to be close because we're brothers, but he sure doesn't act like we're close.
I used to talk to him a lot about my struggles with severe, treatment-resistant depression because he has a mood disorder and I thought he understood. But he doesn't. It's amazing that it took me so long to figure out that he was serious when he says things like 'dude, the depressive parts of bipolar are like, super depression compared to yours.' (Especially odd, since I'm on disability and he is able to work a stable job, has never attempted suicide, has never been hospitalized, et cetera,)."
"At first it was just little things, like when we were kids, he would force me to trade my best pokemon to him, or he'd beat me up, along with stealing my games, cards, lying, and begging to my parents for something until he got it. Then we were teens, he started doing substances, smoking, pills, sleeping with anyone he could. He got into multiple, brutal fist fights with my dad in front of me, there would be no way to have stopped the two beasts colliding, they just completely destroyed our house multiple times. He would constantly have parties in our basement, would sell substances out of the house.
Once he got into a horrible fight at a party and came home with a 4-inch gash across his forehead, with his forehead skin dropping down to his eyebrows, and covered in blood as if he had taken a bath in it. He said someone threw a stereo at him.
He stole my 32-inch flat screen, ps3, my $1000 gaming PC, multiple monitors, and games. He went to prison for 2 years for that one. He's stolen motorcycles, done and sold every illegal substance you can think of, burned every bridge he ever came across. He's committed multiple crimes since then, he's 26 and going to be in prison for 15 years. That's my bro."
"My younger sister has always been not right. She killed my guinea pig when she was 3 by repeatedly dropping it on the cement until it died of internal bleeding. She reported my stepdad beating her 3 times to cops/social services when nothing of the nature was true. She's generally just a liar and manipulator who cares for nobody. Glad I haven't seen her in years."
"My old brother was an awful person as far back as I can remember. When he was in the first grade or so, he wrote on a school assignment that his favorite activity was beating up his little brother. He always physically attacked me for no reason, blamed me for things I didn't do, and ratted me out to our parents for everything I did. One of my earliest memories was from when I was about 4, we were both over at a neighbor's house playing with different kids our age; the girl I was playing with decided to randomly take her shirt off and kiss me. My brother walked past the door and saw this and immediately ran home to tell my parents. I never saw her again. He did basically the same thing again when I was 16 and had my girlfriend over while the parents were out.
I haven't talked to him in over 10 years now, and I hope I never have to in the future."