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Puking On The Table Was Just The Warm Up Act
Puking On The Table Was Just The Warm Up Act

"Okay, the story I'm about to tell makes me so angry that my hands are practically shaking.

My mom 'invited' one of her childhood friends to our house for spring break last year. This woman is around 300 lbs, twice divorced, with an absolutely disgusting son.

So these idiots waltz into our house, acting like they own the place. Keep in mind, my mom hasn't talked to her since high school in India. They found each other on Facebook and this woman, we'll call her 'Auntie M' because that's what she demanded my sister and I call her, basically invited herself over to our house.

So this dysfunctional duo shows up at our house and immediately claim my sister's room. They literally walked upstairs and just put their bags on her bed.

The son was basically a fast food addict, so my sister and/or I would have to drive him to a restaurant for every meal. He literally would not eat or finish a single thing my mom made.

My mom made some amazing chicken rolls when they were here, so this worthless turd started eating them. He finished three when I was on my second one (he ate like a pig) and then proceeded to reach across the table and grab my last one off my plate. After he was done stuffing his face with my last one, he put a finger in his mouth and made himself throw up. THIS FREAK SHOW MADE HIMSELF THROW UP AT THE TABLE! Then he got up and had the nerve to ask me for a ride to Popeyes.

After Auntie M apologized on his behalf and cleaned his puke off our table, she gave him 20 bucks and begged me to drive him to Popeyes. So I loaded this pile of garbage into my car and drove him to KFC instead. When we pulled up to the window to pay, he didn't do anything. I was like, 'Are you gonna pay?' and this jerk was like, 'Oh. I thought you were going to pay.' He then proceeded to argue with me for five minutes about how his mom hadn't given him any cash so I had to pay; keep in mind we were still just sitting in the drive-thru. Finally, I had to call his mom in front of the drive-thru attendant while she shouted at him. The idiot finally pulled the $20 out of his back pocket and handed it over with a grin on his face.

Auntie M, her third night at our house, started verbally harassing my sister. First, she told her to lose some weight, which is ironic because this chick looked like Shamu. Then, she told my sister to go get a haircut. She told my sister her hair looked like 'a rat's nest, caked in feces.' Then, that night she snuck into my room where my sister and I were sleeping, and CUT HER HAIR. THIS PSYCHOPATH CUT MY SISTER'S HAIR WHILE SHE WAS SLEEPING. She offered to clean up the hair off the floor in the morning, but other than that she wasn't apologetic in the least."

When Two Weeks Feels Like A Lifetime
When Two Weeks Feels Like A Lifetime

"My uncle, who has a drinking problem, and my two cousins came to stay with us for a week when I was younger, and it soon turned into an impromptu two-week stay. My mom (my uncle is her younger brother) practically lost her sanity during the visit.

My uncle raided the house for drinks and drank anything that he could find. My parents had hidden a stash of their good stuff in a drawer in their bedroom because they knew he was an addict. Yup, he found it and drank it all without asking. My mom was upset, but she understood that he has a problem, so she just started locking her door.

My two cousins (maybe 9 and 12 years old) ate and drank practically everything. My parents worked full time, so they weren't able to entertain them during the day and my siblings and I were at school, so they were left alone for the daytime during the weekdays. My mom would make a big breakfast for everyone before she left for work, and they would eat that and then promptly start eating all of our school snacks. My parents would come home and make dinner, but they didn't want to eat it because they had filled up on junk food all day. My mom explained that the snacks were for our lunches and she would make/leave out food that they could eat throughout the day. But they didn't want sandwiches, they wanted our chips and crackers. My mom went to pack our lunches the next day and found that they had eaten the bread, fruit, snacks, and drank all of our juices. My mom replenished it a couple of times but got sick of rebuying snacks that my cousins would instantly devour. The worst part is, when we had stayed at my uncle's house the year prior, he made it clear to everyone he was NOT feeding all of us, and my parents were expected to buy their own groceries while we all stayed there.

The cousins decided they wanted to make cookies, so they started climbing all over the countertops, pulling down almost every dish, dirtying everything, flour exploded everywhere, a ton of ingredients were wasted because they gave up halfway through and went to go watch TV, leaving the mess for my parents to deal with. My mom lost it and told her brother she would NEVER expect him to clean up after her kids, so she shouldn't even have to tell him that she wasn't cleaning up after his.

The cousins, for some reason, would leave all of their dirty laundry behind the bathroom door. They would just whip off their underwear to take a shower and kick it behind the door, so there was a mountain of dirty clothes there, despite my parents showing them where the laundry room was.

The younger cousin of mine dug through my closet and found a tea set that I carefully maintained and had stored in styrofoam that I had gotten from another family member. She decided she wanted to play with it and ended up smashing everything. They read my diary and colored all over it, ripping out pages and making fun of me for what was in it.

One of the cousins (my mom didn't find out until after they finally left) had a runny nose, so she just started stuffing her used tissues in the sofa throughout the two weeks.

My mom finally kicked them out after my uncle got really hammered and started chasing around my five-year-old brother to spank him because he supposedly did something wrong. My little brother was hiding underneath a desk, screaming, because his slurring, wasted uncle was trying to hit him.

Yeah, they haven't been invited back to visit."

The Cup Incident Was The Tipping Point
The Cup Incident Was The Tipping Point

"The most disrespectful thing that ever happened to me in my own house came from my sister-in-law.

My wife invited her younger sister, who had recently turned 18, over to stay with us for a few weeks due to some issues at her mom's house. I've had issues with the sister in the past, as she has difficulty accepting responsibility for her actions. Everything is everybody else's fault, never hers. So I was not exactly happy about her staying with us, but she's family, so I played nice.

A couple weeks turned into nearly a month and a half, and things were degrading. She stopped taking her medication and was growing more unstable by the day. She got mad that we asked her to help us buy the food that she was eating, even though we had told her ahead of time that we would need her to contribute. Tensions rose, and the situation was rapidly getting worse.

On the final day, my wife was getting angry at the sister, who was rather unstable by now. The thing that set it off started with a cup. The night prior, one of our cats peed on her bedding. Instead of waking either my wife or myself to get another set of linen, she took my son's blanket and gave him the pee-soaked one. Naturally, my wife and I were furious when we found out and told her she needed to leave by Friday. This took place Wednesday morning.

By lunch of that same day, it had reached the tipping point. The sister had placed a cup of water on the living room floor, while she played on her computer. My wife asked her to pick it up and put it on the table so my 3-year-old son didn't knock it over, but the sister did not listen. Lo and behold, it got knocked over just like my wife had said it would, as my son was playing on the floor.

The sister flew into a rage, smacked my son and yelled at him for an accident that was her fault. My wife got very angry at this, yelled at the sister, and was then cursed out by the sister. My wife took our son and retreated to our bedroom to call me, in tears of frustration and rage. Hearing this, I immediately told my boss that I had urgent family business to take care of and left work to sort this out. I arrived home to screaming, as my wife and her sister argued loudly.

I stepped in the middle and asked everybody to calm down. The sister stormed off and slammed MY door in MY home. I got the full story from my wife and went to address the issue with the sister, trying to keep my calm. The sister screamed at me, in my own home, to get out.

Up until this point, I had been very forgiving and understanding, but being disrespected like that, by a guest in my own home, was more than I could bear. And then she hit me and tried to lock herself in a closet. I don't know how, but I kept calm and informed her that she had until 5:00 p.m. that day to pack her bags and get ready to leave. I would be collecting her and her things and taking her to the airport. She tried to argue, complaining about how her ticket wasn't for another two days, trying to use the fact that she had bought food as leverage, everything under the sun.

As it turned out, she was packed and gone by the time I got home. So, yeah. That was the most disrespectful and insulting thing that has ever taken place in my home."

That's Not How You Ask Your Host For Things!
That's Not How You Ask Your Host For Things!

"My dad is a realtor, and he invited a potential buyer, who was a long-time friend, to our house for dinner.

My mom is an amazing cook and was working for hours to make a great meal and to ensure that the deal would be successful. As dinner was winding down, my mom began serving everyone coffee. When our guest ran out of coffee, instead of asking for more, he simply tapped his spoon against the coffee mug until my mom took it away.

He was never invited back."

The Crazy Aunt Encouraged Her Kids To Be Tiny Terrors
The Crazy Aunt Encouraged Her Kids To Be Tiny Terrors

"I have two female cousins who are 14 months apart, and their mom is insane. She's been the family joke for years, and her daughters still don't know. It's actually really sad. My uncle ruined his life over this woman and went bankrupt twice. He's just now, in his late 40s, divorcing her after YEARS of my dad and other family member begging him to. So the kids are kind of messed up, too.

So when they would come to MY house, they would take off my Barbies' heads and other horrible things. Nothing was ever done about it after my parents told their mom about what they were doing. They ruined a few special dolls I'd gotten from my grandmother while she was still alive.

The last time I remember them coming over, the younger of the two really liked a My Little Pony I had that I didn't play with much anymore. I was six and she was four and I told her she could have it. She goes and runs and tells her mom all excited, and her mom, in a room with my parents, looks at me and says, 'That's very rude, to give someone something you don't want anymore. A gift should be something you value.' She turns to her kid and says, 'Go pick out one of her favorite ponies or dolls since she wants to give you a gift.'

My dad stopped her. They didn't play much at our house after that. After this visit is also when my parents realized they kept saying, 'We're your guests, you have to serve us!' and that's why I got them drinks and shared my food and let them play in my room instead of the playroom, even though I didn't like people in my room.

They would also go to other family member's houses and sneak into the attic and unbox a bunch of things, play with it, and not clean it up. Anytime I went to their house I was super polite, and cleaned up everyone's toys because my crazy aunt taught me, 'You're a guest, you clean up after yourself,' but when they came over it was 'we're guests, you wait on us.'"

The Parents Acted Like It Was Totally Normal Behavior

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The Parents Acted Like It Was Totally Normal Behavior

"My parents' friends' kids were spitting on my parents for the whole evening. Their parents did not even try to stop them as if it was a normal thing to do."

She Liked To Snoop Around
She Liked To Snoop Around

"My friend brought his nutjob ex-girlfriend to hang out at my place several times. I'm always welcome to bring a boyfriend or a date to hang out at his, so I felt obligated to return the favor. She was in her early 20s. Here are a few examples of some things she did:

One time she asked what was in the safe under my bed (yes, it's weird that she even snooped there). That's where I store my weapon. She asked if she could play with the weapon for a few minutes. I told her no way. She didn't understand why. So, half an hour later, I caught her attempting to pry the safe open with her bare hands. I told her to knock it off or leave my apartment, and she started crying because I was mean.

She was extremely religious and checked out the stuff in my dresser and nightstand, then went on a holier-than-thou tirade about my sinful lifestyle. As far as I could tell, she only found lingerie (I am female, so this was nothing unconventional) and birth control.

She stood on a chair to reach the top of my bookshelves and rearrange my model aircraft collection (most of which are high-quality scale reproductions I got as deal toys during my investment banking days). She broke the #4 engine off of my KLM 747-400, and that was a bridge too far. She was banned from the apartment after that."

Kirby Van Winkle
Kirby Van Winkle

"There was once a Kirby vacuum salesman who showed up at my house at 8 p.m. offering to vacuum the house during the demo. I rolled my eyes, but let him in because I'm okay with not vacuuming.

He proceeded to drag in this box containing an unassembled vacuum, dumped it out, and then stares at it for a solid 10 minutes. He picked up a piece or two and then put them back down. I got bored and grabbed a soda. I walked back in with it and his face lit up. Then he said, 'Aw, wow, man. Thanks! I'm so thirsty, dawg,' while holding out his hand. I reluctantly gave it to him and went to the kitchen for another.

I came back and found this dude racked out on my sofa. His head was back, his mouth was open, he had the soda in his hand, full-on sleep apnea demo in progress. I guess he somehow managed to get himself into REM sleep in the time it took me to walk to the fridge and back because I could not wake him. I screamed, shouted, shook and stomped to no avail.

So, I dug through his stuff and found the card of the guy who dropped him off and called him, explaining the situation. After expressing zero surprise about the predicament, he showed up ten minutes later. He walked in, stood over him for a minute, and screamed, 'DANTE, YOU SLEEPYHEAD,' and slapped the daylights out of this guy.

Dante calmly sat up, cracked open the soda and took a swig while declaring that the instructions for assembling the vacuum were 'straight up nonsense, bro' as he was being shuffled out the door.

The next day I got a phone call from the manager offering to take $100 off the $2,300 vacuum 'for my trouble.'"

Getting Around Those Bedrooms Can Be Confusing
Getting Around Those Bedrooms Can Be Confusing

"Not too long ago I had a games night.

It was about 2 am and we were all hammered and my friend (let's call him Sam) had polished so many beverages, we were pretty surprised he was still breathing. So he went up to my room, passed out, and everyone else eventually passed out around the house (couches spare rooms, wherever) and I went up and slept in my room.

I woke up really early, as I always do when I drink a lot, and Sam was gone. As it turns out, in his hammered state, he got up to pee and kind of got lost in my house (he's been to my house at least 100 times in the past). He wandered into my mum's bedroom and proceeded to get into bed next to her and pass out again.

The next night at dinner, we were laughing about it and one of my exchange students told me that he had also gone into his room, taken a plant, and put it in my other exchange student's room."

When Your Aunt Is Actually Terrible
When Your Aunt Is Actually Terrible

"My great aunt would come and stay for a couple of weeks at a time every year. She was a lovely lady, always polite and well-mannered.

The last time she stayed, it was as if something had clicked in her brain, and she just sat in front of the TV, shouting racist remarks at anybody who was not a white British person. When she turned to the room and said, 'There are far too many darkies on television these days, don't you agree?' my mother took her aside for a quiet word, which turned into a shouting match. She left the next day."

Her Missing Stash Could Have Killed Their Dog
Her Missing Stash Could Have Killed Their Dog

"A friend at the time needed a place to crash till she could find an apartment, so I offered my couch.

I got home from work one evening and saw her frantically searching for something. I asked what she was looking for and she told me she had lost some coke. I was so mad. I didn't need that in my house and didn't need my dog getting into it. She then laughed and proceeded to tell me that it would be okay. We would know if my dog got into it because he would probably die.

I told her to get out."

They Took Something That Family Could Never Replace
They Took Something That Family Could Never Replace

"I will never forget what this one person did when I invited them over.

Someone took a nice crystal picture frame full of pictures of me growing up because their friend wanted a frame. So obviously, steal it from my house.

I didn't notice, but when my mom did, she was really sad. She just wanted the pictures back, as they were her only copies, but the kids threw them out. Teenagers can be terrible with no regard for others."

He Really Feared For Those Collectors Glasses
He Really Feared For Those Collectors Glasses

"I had a birthday party for a good friend of mine, and she had this obnoxious friend. The idiot was hammered when he showed up and this was the first time I had ever met him.

He had no respect for me and my roommates' house and didn't seem to care whose house it even was. We are all close to 30, so I expect more respect from our small handful of houseguests since it's not a high school rave.

My roommate had a beautiful full room bar that had a lot of collectors glasses along the back wall and the idiot friend went back there started picking random glasses up and 'looking' at them. I was trying to get him to put them down and get him away from all the glass, but he wouldn't budge. I couldn't convince him. He just kept incoherently arguing with me and telling me he was fine. Then his wife stormed into our house and started SCREAMING at him about how he was hammered and they needed to go. I didn't know who she was either, but my main concern was getting this giant wasted baby away from all the glass. My roommate would kill me if he broke anything.

FINALLY, she coaxed him out and took him home, but not before spilling a few drinks and making a huge mess.

He and his wife aren't allowed in my house anymore (from this and a few other encounters), and I couldn't imagine walking into someone's house and being so disrespectful."

Overstaying Their Welcome
Overstaying Their Welcome

"My wife hosted a party at our house for her coworkers.

So, about two to three hours after the party started, one of the co-workers she doesn't typically socialize with outside of work shows up with her husband. We'll call her Debbie.

The party was already winding down when Debbie and her husband arrived. Some guests were already leaving at this point. However, we still try to be good hosts. I got them some drinks and gave them a tour of our house. I built a movie theater in our basement a little while ago, and since I'm relatively proud of it, I like to end the tour there. I showed off the equipment and briefly started up a random movie from Netflix to show off the video and audio quality.

After I started the movie, they sat down and started watching. I figured that they just wanted to watch something as they finished their drinks, and left them there to attend to the remaining guests.

An hour passed, the other guests had all left, and Debbie and her husband were still watching the movie. I went down and politely ask if there's anything they need (hint, hint). They asked for more drinks. I got them drinks and went upstairs to clean up.

Another hour passed. My wife and I had cleaned up after the party, had changed into pajamas, and were ready for bed. Finally, Debbie and her husband came upstairs. They said that they finished the movie, and were about to start a second before realizing that they had to 'leave early.'

At no point did they see anything weird about their behavior. Needless to say, they have not been invited over since."

Since Then, Their In-Laws Are No Longer Allowed In The House
Since Then, Their In-Laws Are No Longer Allowed In The House

"My mother-in-law and father-in-law were babysitting our kids while we went on a date.

My son later told me, 'Grandma asked us a lot of questions.' I come to find out she had interrogated our children (seven and four at the time) about what we said about the grandparents when they weren't around, do we drink, etc. (they're very religious). She then apparently went through the drawers in our bedroom and didn't do a good job of concealing it.

When they decided to come for an impromptu visit (we live 150 miles away), I told them to get off of my porch and not to return. I went back in the house, at which point my father-in-law started screaming at my wife in the front yard. I looked out and saw him jab his finger into her chest and I had that nice white hot righteous anger wash over me. I opened the door, jumped off the porch, and headed toward him, at which point he took off running through the neighborhood. I'm 6'4" and was about 250 pounds at the time and apparently, I look a little scary when angry. My wife eventually got me calmed down and we allowed them to drive off.

Since then, we have very, very limited contact with them, and my kids aren't left alone with them despite being older. My father-in-law has been told that if he ever lays another finger on my wife, I will drop him before he can say God with his mouth open.

Ironically, my religious mother-in-law is now addicted to painkillers and drinking."

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