After an actor blows up, it seems to be only a matter of time before they try their hand at pop music… and sometimes their efforts make us collectively grimace.
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Sure, there are plenty of examples of actors who try their hands at cutting an album, and they come out on top. Folks like Jennifer Lopez, Zooey Deschanel and Jared Leto have such prolific music careers that many of their fans may not even know they’re mainstream actors. Meanwhile, other thespians like Kevin Bacon, Russell Crowe, and Steve Martin have solid, lower-profile musical efforts as part of a band.
Still, for every Jamie Foxx, there’s an actor who horribly flounders when they get behind a microphone. To those brave (and possibly misguided) souls, this is not simply a list.
It is a tribute.
4. Don Johnson: We Wore a Sash, Y’all
Miami Vice dominated the ’80s, and Don Johnson rode that wave straight to a record deal. In 1986, he dropped his debut album, Heartbeat, proving he could moonlight as a rock star. Surprisingly, it wasn’t just a vanity project—it actually did pretty well. The comments to the official YouTube post of the music video for the titular song from the album are full of folks impressed with Johnson’s pipes.
Still, watching the actor strut around in all black, accessorized with a satin sash-as-belt combo, belting out “I’m lookin’ for a heartbeaaaaat” feels less like a performance and more like a pre-midlife crisis set to music.
His follow-up album, Let It Roll, failed to chart in the U.S., marking the end of his brief yet moderately successful career as a singer.
3. Gwyneth Paltrow: Totally Authentic Country Crooner
Gwyneth Paltrow had already conquered Hollywood when she decided to add “country crooner” to her resume. While filming 2010’s Country Strong, the actress caught the country music bug—and ran with it. She even took the stage at the 2010 CMAs to belt out the film’s title track with Vince Gill.
“I think there definitely will be singing in my future. I know that I won’t stop singing and playing guitar,” she explained to Yahoo! Music then. “It may just be to my kids in the house. I may make a record. I may do a musical. I’m not sure, but I’m just very grateful I’m in a place now where I’ve been given an opportunity to discover this whole new side to myself.”
However, watching the Los Angeles-born nepo-baby take a stab at a genre meant for real Southern storytellers felt a bit inauthentic. Thankfully, it seemed to be a passing fancy for the Goop founder.
2. Ricky Gervais: Sensitive, He Swears
Alright, alright, this entry is less about an established actor becoming a musician and more about an aspiring singer failing and becoming a comedy legend. But come on, the fact that Ricky Gervais was once part of a New Wave duo in the early ‘80s? Too good not to throw into the mix.
With Gervais’s knack for mocking nearly everything, you might assume his new wave band, Seona Dancing, was some sort of elaborate joke. However, it was as serious as Ricky’s glam eye liner and David Bowie-esque locks.
The duo released a handful of tracks before disbanding in 1984. Still, watching the glorious footage of the duo, it’s a wonder it never resurfaced on The Office.
1. Corey Feldman, the Actor Who Refuses to Give Up on Music
Oh hell, you knew it was leading up to this.
From child actor to teen heartthrob to reality TV star, Corey Feldman might just hold the crown as the most dedicated actor-turned-musician to ever make audiences collectively cringe.
The Feld-dog has been doing his awkward Michael Jackson imitation since 1989’s Dream a Little Dream. In that film, his character wins over the heart of the nubile female lead with dance moves that are totally tight and not at all weird.
However, Feldman wasn’t satisfied with imitating and failing horribly at Jackson’s dance moves for the silver screen. He soon spun it into a full-fledged would-be musical career.
Corey Feldman’s first video clip
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In 1992, the Lost Boys star subjected the world to his music with the album Love Left. Seven years later, in 1999, he released his second album, Still Searching for Soul, alongside his band, Corey Feldman’s Truth Movement. In 2002, Feldman returned as a solo artist with the album Former Child Actor.
The cacophony of pain reached a fever pitch with 2016’s Angelic 2 the Core, an hour-and-a-half of gloriously misguided rap rock. But hey, Feldman managed to get Snoop Dog to slum it in the track “GO 4 IT,” so there’s that.
Still, there’s something endlessly endearing about Feldman’s confidence in the face of mockery. The man has been at his music craft for decades, and shows no sign of slowing down.