"When you call someone for an urgent reason, you leave them a message AND text them saying what the problem is, if they don't pick up. This way, when they do pick up, they can't be moody and decide not to call you back. In the movies the person is like, 'oh no someone's going to get me, PICK UP!' After no one answers, they realize they can't get through and that's it. Then when the other person sees the missed call, they don't always call back straightaway."
"Body progress is so different. In reality, exercise and diet takes a while to change your physical appearance. You will never see an after 1 month, after 2 months, or an after 3 months slow transformation in a movie. You will only see 0 to 100 with some kind of a song montage."
"In movies, they always have the character come to a last-minute realization that they don't want their romantic interest to leave them. In reality, when you run through security at an airport, you will be tackled, arrested, and probably tazed while it's all happening. Your true love will take off in that plane, and you will never see her again because you are now in NSATSA custody."
"In movies, nobody ever has to drive around, forever, looking for parking. They just automatically park. It's a miracle! In reality, at the store such as Target or Walmart, the parking lots are so damn busy, it takes at least 5-10 minutes to find a decent spot."
IRL: Woman -'Honey, who is this text from on your phone?' Man - 'Hmm? Oh that's Sally, a co-worker that started last week. I'm training her, want to meet her?' Then in the Movies: Woman- 'Honey, who is this text from on your phone?' Man - 'UuuuuuuuhHH!!? No idea!' Woman- 'You lying bastard! You're cheating on me!!!' (weeks of pain later) 'Oh so she WAS a co-worker! Haha! Why didn't you say something you goof-ball? I love you."
"When it comes to making plans with friends or whoever, details are typically included. In movies, the characters will say something like: 'Let's have lunch tomorrow'. And THAT IS IT. When in real life, you have to sort out the time, place, transportation, just everything."
"When you cough in real life, it doesn't always mean that you're dying. But of course, in the movies, whenever someone starts coughing they usually, tragically, end up dead by the end, or they end up going through some horrible life-threatening illness."
"In the movies they always involve some hopeless romantic boy that starts chasing after the girl. He begins by appearing at her house and seeking chances to run into her. It's always that persistent romantic interest and then the girl is always won over. In reality, you get a restraining order for stalking/harassing people."
"The time it takes to travel varies. I can't remember the last time anyone in a movie got on a plane at one spot, and an actual reasonable amount of time passed before they got off a plane. In movies it usually plays off as if a 20-hour flight, in real life, lands about 2 hours after takeoff."
"In real life people actually, genuinely, care when something breaks or is destroyed. The most unrealistic thing about movies is the complete disregard for material things and all the damage. Not to mention there are medical bills. Houses blow up, cars get flipped, or somebody is trapped under a mountain. Things cost money! Healing costs money; Money most people don't have! You lose a car? You don't just buy a new one! You get major surgery? Well, that's a cost that's going to haunt you! I don't think the people in the movie business understand how money works for real people."
"When life just keeps going on after someone dies. If it's in some drama, you see the people crying over the bedside of the person dying, then it cuts right to the funeral. You never see the aftermath that day, where you just go home in a daze, and watch Die Hard, because you don't really know what the f--k else to do."
"People send (at least every person I know) legitimate sentences when texting. Example: 'I'll see you there later tonight'. In the movies, the teens and adults, even if it's the highly educated CEO Billionaire of some company, just everyone texts each other stuff like 'C u l8er 2nite' or whatever."
"Movies: Hero dashes through the building dodging a hail of bullets. The elevator doors are just ahead, and closing! With his pursuer hot on his tail, Hero dives into the elevator just as the doors close behind him. IRL: Hero dives into the elevator just as the doors are closing. This activates the sensor and the doors reopen, revealing the killer standing there with a smirk on his face and a gun in his hand."
"The homework in all those high school movies, are pretty much non-existent. High school AP classes are no joke, with all of the freakin hours that consume the lives of teens. Also the egregious amount of time many of us spent playing computer games, instead of having a social life."
"People tell each other when weird s--t starts happening, in real life. In movies, there is always someone that keeps their super powers or that flying pig, a secret. Phrases like, 'I can't tell anyone, they won't believe me' or 'The government will just hide it away.' Screw that! IRL people yell about anything that is even remotely weird happening to them. I am quite sure that if 'little Timmy' sees something f---ed up he won't just keep it a secret and investigate it later. Such BS."
"Nobody has to stick their credit card in the slot and wait the ridiculous 5-10 seconds before it does something to tell you to remove it and beeps at you. This used to be so easy when you just swiped your card. So graceful and cool. They should play the Mario power up instead of beeping at you like you stole something. F---ing reality."
"Conversational roadblocks are a huge issue IRL. Everyone in movies is always having perfect conversations that reveal some truth of solve some problem. What about meeting your boss' husband and failing to strike up a meaningless conversation about 90's grunge rock or something? For example: Me -'Oh so you like Nirvana?' Him -'Not really' Me -'....' Him -'I love Alice in Chains' Me -'... they did that song, Even Flow, right?' Him -'....No' (Cue the awkward silence)."
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