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Dangerous Waters
Dangerous Waters

"There was a video posted of some cops chasing a couple of inappropriate touching offenders on foot. One of the guys is about to get nabbed but runs into croc-infested water. You can almost hear the cop thinking 'not worth it' as he stops at the edge of the water and watches the guy run away. Awesome footage" (Source).

Never Gonna Catch Him
Never Gonna Catch Him

"My mom's ex husband is a cop and my brother asked him one time what he does when he's shooting radar and a sport bike flies by going 100+. He said 'Absolutely nothing, never gonna catch him'. And he said most other officers do the same thing" (Source).

Extreme Anger
Extreme Anger

"One night I was assigned to work the late shift at a grocery store with the security guard. If things were slow, I would sometimes chat with the security guard and hang out in the back room until a customer came in. Well on this particular night, we're both just sitting back chilling as usual when we hear the stores door open. I stand up and get ready to head to the cash register when I feel the guard grab my arm as he points to the monitor. This huge dude in a black vest had just stormed in and he looked absolutely furious. We stare at the monitor and see him head right to the kitchen utensils section. He grabs the biggest carving knife on the shelf and shoves it underneath his vest before heading back towards the door. At this point I look at the security guard and he looks right back at me and says, 'there's no chance I'm going out there, kid'. The guy charged out the door with the weapon and that was that. We notified the police but I don't know if he ever got caught (Source).

Let Him Have Fun
Let Him Have Fun

"Get a 'suspicious vehicle' call in a park. Get to park and see said vehicle. The park is closed so I have no problem contacting the vehicle because I'm sure it's just two teenagers making out right? WRONG. Walk up to the car all sneaky like to scare the kids I think are in there, when I see a grown man shoving his own fist up his parts with something in his mouth. I think, 'Not worth the awkward conversation over a municipal park hours violation. NOPE. Enjoy sir'. I slowly slink away and out of the park with all my lights off, and proceed to tell my shift about what my eyes just witnessed. I've seen suicides, murder victims, bad car accidents, etc. This is the worst, most 'Nope' thing I can think of." (Source).

Excalibur
Excalibur

"Substance abuse is an ongoing problem in my city. It turns people into the incredible hulk in which nothing works in taking them down, more or less. One time there was a naked man in the middle of our busiest street with a broadsword. We literally had to circle him, and spray him with pepper spray, rubber bullets, beanbag bullets and taser him at the same time to get him to drop the weapon. On average it takes 6 officers to arrest one man on substances if the man is angry. This guy took about 10 police officers working together to arrest him. I sat in my squad car and sipped coffee as I've had many encounters with substance users and have my own battle scars." (Source).

A Bad Couple of Months
A Bad Couple of Months

"I was with my field training officer on what I think was my 2nd week in training when we got a call for a suicide. It's the middle of August in the south and we arrive and park in front of the house. We step outside and immediately smell death. This guy hung himself in a barn and decided to tell no one about his plan to kill himself. So he's been marinating on the August heat for two weeks before someone smelled him. We walk inside and my partner points out that two rats are eating chunks out of his eyes and tells me to get up there and shoo them away. I find a ladder nearby and grab a stick when I lose my balance and grab the nearest thing. It's his rotting body and apparently the weight of both of us could not be supported by the beam so I land on my back and his entire bloated body lands on top of me and bursts open from his stomach. I had his smell on me for what seemed like months, and ever since then I won't deal with that stuff anymore" (Source).

Too Cute
Too Cute

"My dad was a cop. His 'nope' story: I forget the kids offense but he was on a hot pursuit through the halls and up the stairs. Kid charges toward the 2nd story railing and without pause, soars over the edge. He hit the ground with a stuntman roll, and came out of it running. Dad didn't even bother trying to find out who the kid was. In his words 'It was amazing, that kid deserved freedom.'" (Source).

The Alleyway
The Alleyway

"I was walking a foot beat alone when I was about to walk down a dimly lit alley. As I did all I could see was our local weirdo standing in the middle of the alley with no one around. He had on suspenders with spikes on them, a tank top and red pants that had a dozen or so chains attached from the belt to his lower pant cuffs. I watched him stand there as he spun back and forth so his chains would bounce against him and make a loud sound. He did this for several minutes without stopping to look around. I was like 'nope' and backed up and left" (Source).

Chop
Chop

"There was a known, violent mentally-ill person named 'Chop' in a neighborhood I worked in. As a rookie, I got a call of a prowler cutting through someone's yard near a cemetery. Its very dark and foggy. I pulled up to the area, spoke with the caller and she described Chop. Chop was known to sleep in the cemetery and wander about during the night. If left alone, he usually just went on his way. Well, being a rookie, I had to find this guy and see if he needed help/was a danger to the public, etc. I'm shining lights all around and I finally see Chop standing next to fence, with a hole in it, leading into the cemetery. Chop is huge, both in height and breadth. I call for an additional unit, only to be told that backup was a way's off. I exit the car, staying close to it and notice Chop has a 40 ounce bottle in one hand and a boxcutter in the other. I think to myself, whelp, if he attacks me, I'll probably have to shoot him. I announce myself and Chop beings just screaming, starting at me with the rage of psychotic. He then makes a fist and shatters the bottle he was HOLDING IN HIS HAND. He then proceeds to start muttering and go through the hole in the fence, into the cemetery. Got back in the car and pulled back in service" (Source).

Holiday Spirit
Holiday Spirit

"Was a part of a nope by two of the the coolest cops I have met. This past winter in Minnesota my friends and I were out drinking. One friend, Jack, proceeded to get blackout drunk and wanted to do snow angels in the middle of my university's academic mall. Two cops came by and asked if we had been drinking (we were all underage) and we admitted we had. Instead of giving us a minor consumption ticket, they said they didn't want to disturb Jack who had made about a dozen or so snow angels and was oblivious to the fact that the police were there" (Source).

Joys of Parenting
Joys of Parenting

"I remember one where I was the nope. A call came across the radio for an accident where both parties were now fighting and getting confrontational with the officer who had come on scene. So my partner and I roll over we get both parties separated and it's obvious the one driver is DUI, so we hand her off to another officer to be arrested. And he proceeds to hand us the drivers passengers: four 5-8 year old girls and one full on baby. I will never forgive that driver.
So we arrange for another caretaker to come get these little moppets and bundle them into the back of our car. Well you'll be shocked to learn that the children of mothers who drive drunk are not the most well behaved little angels. Plus the baby has began just wailing at the top of its lungs. So, my partner takes the baby and a bottle he's salvaged from the crash in an attempt to calm it. I'm in the driver's seat trying to separate 4 screaming monsters through a partition. Also I don't know any names so it was a lot of 'Abigal, is it Abigal? Stop pulling.....Sara's? hair! Zoey? Don't touch that a taser is not a toy!' and so on. At about this time our supervisor rolls by the scene. He pulls up next to the car takes one look at the baby snuggled quietly in my partners arm as he coos to it; then turns to me as I'm trying to separate two pony tailed badgers in iCarly shirts - close to losing an eye. I could physically see the 'Nope' pass across his face and he drives away without a word" (Source).

Too Cute
Too Cute

"Anytime a person had a dog in the car. Not because I was afraid of dogs, but because department policy dictated that after an arrest the vehicle was to be towed and the only option is to send the animal to the pound. Wasn't going to be responsible for someone's pet getting euthanized so the city could have its revenue" (Source).

Shouldn't Have Run
Shouldn't Have Run

"I was on patrol and saw a pickup that pulled out of a gas station and promptly slammed into the curb. I attempt to pull them over and they floor it. I ended up chasing them for just a few seconds. They ended up blowing a red light at about 100 mph at a very busy intersection. In my state, the city and police department are held liable for any damages that result from a police pursuit. I chose to terminate my pursuit rather than risk my life and the lives of others trying to pull the same stunts that she did all for a traffic infraction. I pulled over, turned off my lights and siren and advised dispatch that the pursuit was over. Several blocks later she took a turn too fast and flipped the truck several times. She and the passenger were not wearing seat belts and were thrown from the truck. Both only suffered minor injury and both were quite intoxicated. The driver was eventually booked on a felony DUI and a felony flee to avoid arrest charge. If I had pursued them a few seconds longer I could have been sued for their injuries as well as for the totaled truck. Most importantly no one else was hurt by her attempt to avoid (what would have been) a simple misdemeanor DUI" (Source).

Passing Gas
Passing Gas

"My trainee and I were sent to a suicide call. We get there, and this poor lady is screaming about her son, begging us for help between sobs. We ran into the house, and the guy is lying somewhat peacefully on his bed with an empty prescription bottle beside him. Prescribed two days ago, 50 pills, all gone...yep, he's dead. Apparently the guy had some health issues, and decided to check out by downing the entire bottle. Mom finds him hours later, and rigor had already set in by the time we get there. As I am inspecting the scene and trying to be delicate as I'm teaching my trainee, the Mom insists on hovering right over her son, telling me to do whatever I have to. Well, part of the job is to check all dead bodies for signs of foul play. By now my partner has arrived, and I instruct my trainee to help my partner roll the guy over to check for other wounds or anything suspicious. Now, Mom is standing beside the bed, my partner and my trainee are trying to roll a very stiff guy and I'm standing by the foot of the bed. As the body rolls, the dead guy farts. LOUDLY. Epic fart really. Before I could say anything, I learned what farts from a dead body smell like. Let me preface this by saying I have smelled horrible things in my career: disgusting houses, gross people, gross people covered in poo, other, deader person; NOTHING compared to the dead guy fart. I gagged and very nearly threw up on the bed, and ran out of the house. I refused to go in, as every time I got near the door I started gagging. The worst part was I found it funny afterwards, and the poor mom was just walking around covering her face with a tissue she was simultaneously trying to wipe her eyes with and breathe through.
I NOPE'd that, and made my partner and trainee handle the gassy guy" (Source).

The Stain
The Stain

"Hummm not sure if this is exactly what you were talking about but its by far my biggest NOPE. Years ago before I went to patrol I worked as a CO at the local jail. It was common practice to search persons going into the main jail. This one guy comes into the back. He is about 6'3" and weighs about 350 lbs. The procedure was to have them remove their underwear turn around facing away from the officer and squat and cough. This would result in anything shoved up their parts to come out. This guy hands me his underwear and I swear they felt like they weighed 5 lbs. Well this specific pair of underwear was coated in pure poop. It was like someone had covered the entire back side of his underwear with a quarter inch of poop and perfectly spread it over the underwear. Mind you I have these underwear in my hand and I am holding them by the band in pure revulsion. The guy did his squat and cough. He could have had a private jet up there for all I knew because I was in 'please do not puke' mode. Normally we give soiled clothes to the trustees to be washed. I told the guy that the underwear needed to be thrown out. NOPE! He insisted that I give em back. I gave them back to him and HE PUT THEM BACK ON! Full on gag reflex kicking in overdrive now. I just wanted him away from me. He put on his jail coveralls and went into the back. I get shivers down my spine thinking about it. I have seen some horrid stuff in my job but THAT one is the one that sticks with me" (Source).

Not a Bad Guy
Not a Bad Guy

"I'm late to the party but, before calling in a back up officer to make an arrest you have a lot of factors to take into account, and on top of that still uphold the constitution and enforce laws. So I came across the classic stole food because poor story. So I use my MDT and run the name through it and this guy had a clear history which either meant he was lying to me (yes if you give a fake name it will have a clean record) or he was being serious. So I do some more checking and he was being honest. He didn't steal a lot but the store caught him and now left the decision to me. I arrested him in the store to let the feeling sink in and so I wouldn't get complained on by the store later and then walked him out to his car took the cuffs off gave him a $10 bill and said ask people for food don't steal and that was that." (Source).

Maybe Just a Bit too Much to Drink
Maybe Just a Bit too Much to Drink

"My partner and I made a stop on a car coming out of an area full of clubs and bars. My partner walked up on the driver side and I walked up on the passenger side of the vehicle. The passenger of the car was passed out cold in the front seat. My partner asked to see the driver's driver license, insurance, and registration. The driver opened up glove box, and that's when the passenger opened her mouth and projectile puked into the glove box and on her friend's arm. I turned around and walked about 10 feet away from the car. I hate vomit. I didn't hear the conversation or see the rest of the puking in the car, but apparently it got ugly (that's what my partner told me). I could see the look of disgust in his face while he watched the passenger puke all over the front part of the vehicle and on the driver as well. I saw the passenger car door open and the passenger fell face first into the pavement, covered in her vomit, and just lied there moaning. I yelled at my partner to tell the driver to get out of the car and take care of her friend. So while the driver and is taking care of her friend, I got a little closer. The driver decided she needed to scoop some of the vomit out of the passenger seat, before she puts the passenger back in the vehicle. I was lucky enough to dodge the incoming chunks of puke. I walked back towards the patrol vehicle and had a talk with my partner. He told me that the driver had a suspended driver license, and he thought she had been drinking as well, but he would actually have to investigate to see if she was drunk. If we impounded the car, or arrested the driver, we would have to take the passenger for public intoxication. Two girls in the back of our patrol vehicle covered in one persons vomit, my partner and I both agreed - NOPE! We told the driver to get home, drive safe, obey every rule of the road, that she was lucky she wasn't getting the car impounded and that she wasn't going to jail. We drove away with lights and siren, and didn't look back" (Source).

The Island
The Island

"I am not a law enforcement officer and for sake of those who may have been involved, I fore go defining details of the evening; Late 80s. Someone I knew parent's had a importers permit and waiver of inspection for a special type of returning cargo transporters. At that time, for Euro-US transports, this was almost fairly standard for nonstandard containers.
Someone had dozens case of wormwood vodka (Czech/Yugo absinthe) but that was only part of what caused our mischief. There were maybe 15 boats, each loaded with 3-5 people. Out on an unpopulated barrier island that was barely anything more than mud, sand and mosquitoes. Anyone who came on the beach that evening was required to take a little red 'dot' and a piece of paper. Our festivities began around 4pm. We drank 25+ liters of absinthe on top of the dot and paper. We covered ourselves in pluff mud, to protect us from the mosquitoes and to hide us from the world. I saw the blue police boat lights coming from miles away. We all waited. When the first DNR office stepped ashore, there were a few standing, covered head to toe in mud and only mud. As he and a partner approached the fire, we stood as we awaited fate. 'If there's anyone else here - show yourself now' he ordered and they did. Over 100 mud covered, dilated pupils arose from mud and came to the fire. I told them not to expose themselves, but they arose.
'I am a Cusso Natchez Edisto and these are my brothers - this is our island, it is the island of our people and you are trespassing on our ceremony'. 'Do you have permit for the fire?' he asked. 'I need not permits from a white man, this is my land, before the white man came and after you are gone, it is our land - not yours. You have as much authority on me as you have on the stars and moon'. By now, most of the tribe was approaching and while I could see them before then, I guess the DNR guy finally saw the mud covered tribe come into the light of the fire. He turned around, grabbed his awestruck partner and went back to their boat and left. I can only imagine that he didn't want to do the paper work or maybe, because it was once a native island with indigenous rights, he was out of jurisdiction, but he let us be. Now maybe, just maybe, this didn't actually happen, but over 50 people witnessed this 'event' and I still wonder, to this day, what he had to be thinking about that situation on a small offshore island in the middle of the night. The best I could ever come up with, translated to a modern language is 'nope'" (Source).

A Day in Waukegan
A Day in Waukegan

"I'm not a cop, but I shared a NOPE experience with an officer. So, a few years back my teammates and I were heading home from a paintball tournament in Waukegan, Illinois. Waukegan isn't the safest of towns but we felt comfortable enough to have the car windows down and enjoy the breeze after a long day of shooting people. Traffic was heavy so we were able to take in all the beauty that Waukegan had to offer. As our car begins to accelerate on a green light, my eye catches something out of the ordinary in my peripheral. In the middle of a field near a strip mall was a brown electrical pole. This particular pole had the great misfortune of being shat on by a large, disheveled woman. A stream of stuff was bouncing off of the pole as if it had a target on it. She did not care! She was pooping in full view of a strip mall and hundreds of cars. I'm still silent at this point, I couldn't possibly form a word. A teammate screams, 'IS SHE POOPING ON A POLE?' I'm staring in disbelief AS a police car slowly rolls by in the opposite lane. The cop sees the woman, brakes sharply for a moment, then looks forward and presses his nope pedal to get out of there. Thanks for the memories, Waukegan" (Source).

Tweeker Van
Tweeker Van

"Not a cop, but my old sound guy at a venue I worked at had a band. He and his band were deep into substances and were heading up I-5 on the way to Portland. And, as people on substances are prone to do, they're blasting through the farmlands at like 90-100 MPH. They were just south of Redding, CA in the middle of Summer. It was hot. Like middle of nowhere, 105F hot. There is no AC in this van, so they're just dripping sweat. So they take off their shirts. Still too hot, so they take off their pants. Still too hot, so they fling the slider door open. They see some cops come up behind them and flash their lights. Since they have a van full of substances and plenty of priors, they ignore the lights. The cops pull up next to the slider door and see four clothes less people and just get on the PA and yell 'SLOW IT DOWN!!'" (Source).

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