"I knew someone who used a fake pregnancy (his wife not him) to get out of work. He then used it a few more times claiming she had doctor appointments. He then was forced to 'lose the baby to a miscarriage' after a few supervisors chipped in and surprised him with baby supplies. He then mourned the loss of his child at work for a while. He had to act sad for what probably felt like forever."
"My husband works with a lot of military guys. One of these guys, who we've known forever now, has a wife who is the most fantastic liar I have ever encountered. Guy deployed for a year, wife moves in a different dude because they're 'just friends' and she's 'just helping him out while he looks for an apartment.' My husband's friend comes back from deployment and the other dude miraculously found his own place just weeks before that. A month later, wife announces she's pregnant. Sometime later, a baby is born '12 weeks premature,' but somehow weighs 7 pounds and is totally healthy. To this day, my husband's friend believes he's the kid's father and his son is some kind of medical miracle."
"A good friend of ours has always had a crush on another guy we know well. Unfortunately, early on in their friendship while talking about their families, second guy revealed that his father had passed away when he was young (true) and the first guy, in that nervous attempt to relate to and impress a crush that I'm sure many people understand, blurted out that his father had also passed away also (false).
He felt horrible about it from the second he said it, but can't figure out a way to explain himself without looking like a total piece of trash, and has simply accepted the reality that he can't ever pursue a relationship with this guy. A couple years ago he slipped up and mentioned something about his dad to the second guy, who questioned it, so he now pretends his actual dad is his stepdad."
"Three months ago I accidentally stumbled upon some paperwork that proved that my company was committing insurance fraud. So I reported it to the Bureau, cashed out my PTO and quit. I told the owner what I did after. I haven't told my family or friends or anyone I left my job as it was my identity. The first 2 weeks or so, I basically drove around from 9-5, trying to keep my self-entertained. I'm in a decent state financially, but I was hoping I could land another job in the field quickly. I have heard from friends at work that my ex-boss pretty much had me blacklisted from the industry in my area, slandering my name, but he is currently undergoing inspection for fraud so I guess it's eye for an eye. I spend my days at the local library now. I have my laptop, and I go to a corner and look for work, or play Skyrim. I just got accepted back to school at a local community college where I hope to work for my associates. Tomorrow I do have an interview at a local grocer for the night shift, and I plan on taking that job. So all in all, it's been a rough patch, but I'll make it through. I just need to find a way to tell my friends and family..."
"After keeping this from my parents for 20 years, I finally came clean last week.
When I was 12, I was invited on a skiing trip with a friend and his church youth group. I had never been skiing before, but I thought 'Hey! Skiing looks awesome! This'll be fun!'
After a morning of getting the basics of pizza-ing and french frying down on the bunny slope, I tried my hand at the beginner's hill.
Skiing isn't as easy or as awesome as it looks in the movies. In fact, when you start off, you spend a lot more time on your behind, and snow is, get this, cold, and wet, and the process of getting back up on your skis over and over again after falling can be trying for a young 12-year-old. A 12-year old that couldn't help but notice that the ski lodge at the bottom of the hill not only had hot chocolate but a full arcade!
Please understand that what occurs next was purely fueled by a 12-year-old desire to stop falling over, to be warm, and to spend the rest of the afternoon sipping hot cocoa and playing Metal Slug.
I had fallen over yet again, and I just didn't care to get up. I was lying face down in the snow with my head over my arm, and I was over it. Skiing was not as fun as I had hoped. Two good samaritans pulled up beside me on their skis and asked if I was alright.
Here's where life changes forever. I had two choices. I can say yes, I'm alright, I've just given up on skiing and I look like a moron laying face down in the snow or maybe I can say no, and I'll be done skiing. I'll fake an injury and it'll be nothing but hot chocolate and video games until this nightmare is over and the church youth group is ready to head home.
I chose the latter. 'No,' I said 'I'm not alright. I fell over and there's something wrong with my foot.'
Before I had a chance to retract my words, the good samaritan couple was off, they exclaimed they'd get help, to stay here, and then headed down the slope.
Once again I was faced with two choices: leave now and avoid whatever happens next, or stay here laying face down in the snow. My 12-year-old logic was sound. If they're getting help, it'd be very weird for the person who needed assistance not to be there when help arrived. And of course, once help arrives I'll be done skiing, and it'll be nothing but video games and hot chocolate all afternoon.
Within a few minutes, there were sounds of shouting coming down the hill. 'Ski Patrol, out of the way!' 'Ski patrol, watch your left!' Three strong and prepared gentlemen in red jackets slid right up next to me. They were on skis themselves and had with them a red sled type of thing.
Once again I was asked the question: Are you alright? And being that I've already said no once, I felt like I had to say no again. Which I did. But not wanting the effort of these gentlemen who came to rescue me feel less than well invested, I replied with 'No, I fell and heard something go pop, I think it's my ankle.'
They gingerly loaded me into the sled and together we headed down the hill at a rapid rate of speed. They were very nice guys, but I was too mortified to speak, not due to the lies that had ended me in such a sled but rather due to the fact that as we rolled down the hill together I saw my friend, and each and every other member of the youth group, including the organizers. All of their faces were riddled with shock and horror at seeing me in the red ski patrol sled.
They took me to some sort of ski slope medical center, where I was given a bed and a doctor gingerly removed my ski boot and asked me questions while moving my foot leg and ankle. 'Does this hurt?'
Who was I to say no now? 'Yes! Ouch!'
There was an awful lot time going into ascertaining just how, and how much I had hurt myself, the time I could have been spending playing video games and drinking hot chocolate. But I was willing to ride it out and let these guys do whatever they needed to do, it would only be a matter of time before I was lounging.
The church youth group leader arrived. He apologized profusely, saying that he never thought that one of the kids under his watch would get hurt and that I didn't need to worry, he had already called my parents to let them know about the incident.
I was never released from the medical center. There was no hot chocolate and video games, just empty white walls, and people in actual need of medical attention. I laid in that bed for 4 additional hours waiting for the ski trip to conclude. What could I do? Tell these guys I was feeling miraculously better? I accepted my fate.
The ride home seemed to take forever, and when we pulled into the church parking lot, I felt as though my self-created nightmare would be over - I'd hop in my dad's car and life would be normal the next day. This dream was shattered when I saw my father, waiting for me there in the parking lot, with a pair of crutches and foam foot brace.
He carefully put the brace on my foot and I took the crutches - I took those crutches and I used them for the next two weeks. 14 days of life on crutches at a middle school that had three floors of stairs, and no elevator. I lived the illusion of having a foot injury for 2 weeks, all for video games and hot chocolate, which I never got.
My mother tried to take care of me during this period, offering to make me soup or bring me magazines, everything I refused as I couldn't stand the idea of her being sweet to me when I was lying to them.
I finally told them about this last week. They both laughed intensely. My mother called me clever for getting out of skiing, whereas my father felt as though living two weeks on crutches to get out of an afternoon of skiing was the opposite of clever."
"I don't like when my wife cooks spicy food. The first time she did it we had just started dating and I didn't want to offend her, but the food she was feeding me looked, smelled and tasted disgusting. I didn't want to offend her, so I said that I don't eat spicy food. We have been together for 5 years now and married for 2, and to this day I have to tell her that I don't eat spicy food. Even when she is not around I can't eat it around my friends in case they mention it in front of her. I once mentioned that 'maybe I'll try to build a tolerance to it' and she started making it again and I just can't eat it, way to much spice, not even too hot, just to much spice. I get away with eating flaming hot Cheetos because I tell her it's not a real spice."
"My girlfriend said I was 'invited to dinner' with her and her parents. I was very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation, but I knew it must be done.
I met them and it started off well. Then the idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit to make a good impression. So when I saw that baked potatoes were being served, I got the idea that I would pretend that I did not know what potatoes were - that would be funny.
Well let me tell you: backfired! I'll tell you how.
So first when the potato first was put on my plate, I acted very interested. I showed an expression that I was confused, astounded, but in a restrained way, curious and interested. They notice and seemed confused, but did not remark. So I asked, 'This looks very interesting. What is this?'
They stared at me and the mother said, 'It's a baked potato.' And I responded, 'Oh, interesting, a baked...what is it again?'
'A potato, oh interesting. Never heard of a potato, looks pretty good.'
They didn't see I was clowning around but thought I really did not know what a potato is. I now knew I would be very humiliated, depressed, and disgusted if I admitted to making a bad joke, so I committed to the act of pretending I didn't know what a potato is.
They asked me, VERY incredulous, did I really not know what a potato is? That I never heard of a potato? I went with it and told them, yes, I did not ever even hear of a potato.
This went on for a bit and my girlfriend was acting very confused and embarrassed by my 'messed up antics.' And then, the more insistent I was about not knowing what a potato is, her parents started thinking I DID know what a potato was.
Well let me tell you, I had to commit 100% at this point as when I would not admit to knowing what a potato was, the father especially began to get annoyed. At one point he said something like 'Enough is enough. You're messing with us. Admit it.' And I said, 'Sir, before today I never heard of a potato. I still don't know what a potato is, other than some kind of food. I don't know what to tell you.'
When I took a bite of the potato, I made a high pitched noise and said, 'Tastes very strange!'
That is when the father started yelling at me, and the mother kept saying 'What are you doing?' and my girlfriend went to the other room.
Finally, the father said I should 'Get the eff out of his house.' I still didn't quit. I said it was irrational to treat me like this just because I never heard of a potato before. Well let me tell you he didn't take that kindly. I left.
The only way I can ever get out of this is for them to buy that I don't know what a potato is.
I wish I never started it but I can't go back."
"We have caught our mate's wife legit cheating on him at least a half a dozen times, and had our suspicions of hundreds of others. More than a few mates have tried to tell him and he's ostracised them. She continues to make up stories to us to explain the stuff they have told him and every time her stories make less sense or completely contradict things we have seen with our own eyes.
Like, she once told him she was going to stay with a female friend one weekend. A mate saw her and another guy in a completely different city two hours away holding hands and making out at a cafe. He took a photo of them and showed it to our mate. He asked her about it and she keeps telling us it's someone different...who just looks exactly the same and owns the same dress, handbag, glasses, etc. And no one has ever met this other girl she was supposedly staying with that weekend. She's so full of nonsense.
He is the most awesome dude in the world. It's a bit hard to ditch your friend when you genuinely care for him and want him to get out. He might eventually snap then who is gonna be there for him?
Also, I got to point out that she's a psychopath. She makes up stories about everything and the truth is something she's never even remotely come close to before. Like once she told all my mates that I got really trashed and tried to push her down a flight of stairs. The next time I saw her, I asked her why she said that about me and she slapped me and told me I had and was too wasted to remember. I wasn't even drinking the night in question so huh? My point is that he's probably too afraid to face the truth and the hemisphere of crap that would follow."
"I had a friend who basically claimed professional hockey revolved around her. It started realistically but then became so ridiculous that I just tuned in for the entertainment value. A friend she met while traveling worked for an NHL team. When his team was in town, he invited her to a game. Fine, makes sense up to here.
She is seated in a private box with the owner and a couple of injured players. She allegedly impressed them so much with her knowledge and enthusiasm that the visiting owner tells the home team owner he should find a job for her. Eh, maybe?
She also allegedly meets one of the local stars who was out that night for injury. They start dating a few weeks later. I was her roommate and never met the guy. He seemed to magically arrive just after I left each time. I think she did really meet him and they may have gone out once. She wasn't the gorgeous, athletic type these guys tended to date and came home with stories about how girls in the bathroom told her she wasn't pretty enough to be with him (I worked in a restaurant frequented by pro athletes and I could see that happening with the trash who threw themselves at athletes).
She goes for an interview for some low-level community outreach position with the team but they tell her they would rather have her as a 'secret coach' instead. Since it's a secret, no one can see her at the venue and she can't spend the outrageous salary they are paying her. Sure, whatever. It is important to note that she never played or had any real involvement with this sport prior...only watched it on TV.
Over the next two or three years, the stories became wilder and wilder. However, she never tripped up and there was a level of detail that would have been hard to imagine. Also, I couldn't exactly call these people up and ask them if they really knew this crazy girl.
Anyway, the stories were that she worked for the home team in this secret capacity, marquee players from other teams called her for advice. She claimed that she later worked for the national team in preparation for the Olympics, and more things along those lines (during all this, we had moved out of our apartment and she was living with her parents while driving a 10-year-old car - because she couldn't spend the $1M salary they were secretly paying her).
I did have a connection with the college team and some information came from them that allowed me to finally trap her in the lies. I called her out on the nonsense which she admitted to and begged me to not be mad. I said fine but no more lies no matter how entertaining they are. She agreed but then followed it up with one more lie.
I walked away from the friendship and moved out of the state a few weeks later. Everything sports related was tainted for me. I would be watching a game and think 'oh, that's the guy who likes Cheetos and has a big fluffy dog.' Then I realized I only knew that because my friend told me that after allegedly hanging out at his house which most likely never happened. The day to day stories were consistent enough and had just enough truth in them to make you wonder. I mean, who makes up a story about a mid-level grinder liking Cheetos?
In the end, I just wrote her off as completely delusional and hoped she wasn't actually stalking these guys. Last I heard she was working as a clerk in a shop in a mall."
"This girl in my class has such a terrible life - she has had several different cancers, 6 bouts of pneumonia and/or malaria, at least 4 attempted kidnapping that she escaped, and has had her thyroid removed (that's why she can't lose weight). We just go along with it at this point, though sometimes we point out, 'Oh how do you have liver cancer, didn't you get your liver examined just last month because you were born with a bad liver?' She cannot ever remember a past illness she's had.
So, once she told us that she wanted a trim and her hairstylist cut off all her hair 'because she didn't deserve such nice, thick hair.' One of my classmates called her to ask the name of the salon, and her mom answered the phone and was really confused. She said that her daughter had asked for a pixie cut but was really upset with the results. The proverbial poop hit the fan when this came out, and later that night, she made a string of WhatsApp statuses about how she was learning who her real friends were."
"I cheated on an end of year test at school. My friend took the test before me, told me a few questions so I looked it up online and wrote THE WHOLE ANSWER SCHEME on a slip of paper and took it into the exam. The school realized I'd got an abnormally high mark and had gotten word for word perfect answers.
I kept up my lie and had to lie to school officials, had big heated debates, got my parents involved. They said they were going to make me resit a test of the same caliber.
Because my parents had had a big battle with the school and were annoyed that they doubted me, I had to get good marks on my retest.
So, I found the last 10 years of mark schemes from that type of test online and wrote them down on bits of paper.
At the start, I handed in my phone to the deputy head (who was invigilating) and glanced at the year of the paper. I then asked if I could go to the toilet before the exam started before she put the test on my desk. I took all the years of mark schemes out from my pants (because the teacher wouldn't be able to ask why I had a bulge in my underwear).
I aced the test again, deliberately word for word to really rub it in that I'd outdone them."
"A girl I know is a vegan because she is allergic to fish, chicken, eggs, milk, papaya, gluten, and apples. Once, my mom made pasta for lunch, and before I could even taste it, she took a huge mouthful of it. I was just annoyed because she took my lunch without asking and I had painstakingly calculated the macros for it, but the best part was one when my friend who absolutely tired of this stuff cried out 'Oh my god, aren't you allergic to nearly everything in this, call the teachers, she's gonna die!!!'
It was amazing.
So two things went down:
She remembered that she wasn't actually allergic to gluten, and it was specifically sun-dried tomatoes she was allergic to, homemade pasta sauce was fine.
My teacher insisted that there is no way in heck that she could let a severe allergy go untreated, so she called the hospital and she had to go in for visit. She was fine, but traumatized by the experience ( I know because she wrote about it online)."
"In a job interview at a major corporation there was a 3 person panel and after an hour or so someone asked if I had any hobbies, I said I like to play golf. 'What's your handicap?' he said. To which I responded, 'I don't have a handicap.' He then enthusiastically said, 'Oh, so you're a scratch golfer?!' and of course I said 'Yes.' I'm not a scratch golfer I don't have a handicap because I'm not good enough to bother keeping score. But this went on for about 10 minutes, 'Why don't you play for a living? You can making decent money being a scratch golfer.' So I had to give a whole spiel about how my education was more important and other nonsense. In the end, I didn't get the job which is probably a good thing because it would've sucked at that first company golf tournament."
"My sister suspected her husband (father of her 2 young children) of cheating. He was always on his phone, but super secretive about what was on the screen. He had lots of time away from the family for work. She questioned him and he just said he was depressed, and then gave her things to work on, like she should make healthier meals for the kids and clean the house more (she also worked full time - he was a world class idiot). She sets up a tracking app on his phone. Se finds he was lying about where he was and confronts him. He blames her for being suspicious. The real clincher was she started having odd symptoms. Goes to Dr and tests positive for an STD. Keep in mind she had given birth 3 months before. She 100% did not have said STD then. She confronts him about this and he tells her she must have given it to HERSELF by not washing her hands and using the toilet in a public place. Continued to stick to this story for years. He left my sister for the woman he cheated with shortly after the STD debacle. My sister is seeing a much better man now."
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