"My ex's mom was a round, red-haired, red-faced, she-beast who never spoke below a yell. She also had a very unhealthy and incestuous attachment to the son I was dating. I was young and dumb and stayed longer than I should have (she was a HUGE witch to me and encouraged him to abuse me) but I began to question the relationship when she made him take her bra off for her in front me. It was a weird display of dominance, soooo yeah -- massive bullet dodged there."
"I was staying at girlfriend's parents' house. The first morning, her father was out feeding animals. My girlfriend and her mother were getting breakfast ready. I saw my girlfriend put what I thought was an artificial sweetener into her father coffee. I ask if I could try one.
She explained to me it was not a sweetener - but a chill pill. They kept her father dosed. I decided right then I was not going to be part of this family."
"His family was horrible to me and he treated me so poorly while we were visiting (3 weeks solid because they lived in another country).
His mother constantly called me by his ex's name (I have the SAME NAME as his sister, how is it possible to get that confused with another name which both starts with a completely different letter and is much longer than mine?).
His sister wouldn't actually speak to me or include me in any kind of conversation. Her partner was totally lovely and tried his best to include me, but the times that I spent with his sister/mother I was basically just the tag-along who was asked to hold the baby while they did things.
His dad made snide comments about my weight, my family (who he'd never met), my 'lack of career aspirations' (while I was financially supporting his jerk of a son who was trying to make a go of a business at the time) and was just generally a terrible human being.
My boyfriend wouldn't stick up for me or correct any of this and whenever I brought it up, he would basically say I was imagining it. By the end of this trip, we were sleeping in separate bedrooms and I broke up with him not long after."
"When I met her she was perfect. Or as close to perfect as anyone could ever hope for. She was smart, independent and funny. She enjoyed the same things I enjoyed and we got along very, very well. My idea of a 'Dream Girl' was shattered in front of me as I realized she was my dream girl.
When we met, she was estranged from her father. When I asked her about it, she just said that he was kind of a jerk and that was that. Many years later we were having a talk about marriage. I decided we should get married because we were a perfect match. I asked her if she'd be upset if we invited her father and she said no, that she'd like it if he'd come.
So we talked about reconnecting and she said she wasn't sure about it. I knew she wanted to, so I pushed for it. We met him a few times and I wasn't a huge fan of him, I mean, he was okay, I didn't like nor dislike him or his wife, her stepmom, but I could tell she was on the fence about it. I wanted her to be happy so I gave her the push I thought she needed to make amends with him. What came next was the issue. One weekend at a BBQ, I heard her grandfather say 'That boy is a good man, but he's not for you. It's fine to date him, but just remember to keep our bloodline clean.'
I had a talk with her and told her it is ABSOLUTELY unacceptable. She agreed that it was out of line and we both said we'd pull away from interacting with her grandfather for a bit. She said she'd talk to her dad about it and see if he could talk to him.
One day we all met up for lunch and I asked if he'd had a chance to talk to his dad about 'the thing.' He replied with 'What issue?' I figured it slipped girlfriend's mind and she forgot to tell him. So I start to explain it and he cuts me off and says 'No, I know what happened, but why is it an issue?'
I took this as: 'He's an old man stuck in his ways, just ignore him.' I laughed it off and finished lunch.
The following year, my girl had started to change. She was no longer strong or independent. She'd call her dad or stepmom for everything. I'd make a decision on something, she'd call her dad and ask his opinion. The weekend would come up and she'd decide every single weekend to visit her family, never mine and never a weekend alone.
She started to try out 'full body cleanse' stuff. She was a nurse, I assumed she'd be more intelligent.
We were eating kale and spinach daily. She threw all of the pork out because it was unclean meat. Suddenly we weren't allowed to 'work' on Saturday because it was the REAL day God rested when making the universe. If we didn't cook and prepare food on Friday, we just didn't eat anything cooked on Saturday. Suddenly intimacy was 'unsanitary' and too much. As time went on, I kept trying to talk to her about all of this and when she said 'Okay, we'll work this out' I assumed we were going to repair things.
Her idea of working it out was me sitting down with her stepmom as she explained:
1) Vaccines cause autism.
2) The government is REALLY run by the Rothchilds and Samburgers.
3) In the next few years, people will start getting rounded up and put in internment camps.
4) Banks will freeze all accounts and I needed to pull our money out of banks RIGHT NOW and buy as much silver as possible.
The warning signs were going off loud and clear. From day 1 I knew something was off and I should have never repaired their relationship. We tried and the relationship floundered until I called it off when she said she didn't know how she felt about me and marriage anymore. I moved out and we split up. She's getting worse as time passes and I mourn the loss of my best friend."
"He was my first boyfriend in high school and my last. Meeting his family freaked me out so much that I swore off relationships until I graduated with a college degree.
I'm an American citizen but was living in Asia for a time. By junior year, I had my first boyfriend. One day, he invited me and our friends to his house for his birthday.
I met his parents and sister at the house and while they were nice, they treated me with some weird reverence. Everyone in town knew I was an 'Americana' and knew I spoke mainly English. At one point they gave me a tour of their house and his folks were pressuring me to go into my boyfriend's bedroom alone with him. I said no.
They then began to talk amongst themselves but they failed to realize that I understood their language by then. Turns out that they were conspiring to get me locked in the room with their son, have their boy force himself on me, and then have the two of us marry - all this in the hopes of getting a green card for their kid and a ticket to migrate to America. Apparently, my American citizenship was all they saw of me AND I was only 15 at the time.
I went from being that teenager anticipating her first kiss to breaking up with him the next Monday at school. I didn't even know if that's how one gets a green card, but just knowing his parents were willing to ruin my life like that - nope, not having it."
"The biggest reason I'm glad I'm no longer with this girl was her harpy of a mother.
Her mom couldn't handle the fact that her beautiful, feminine daughter was a lesbian. She hated me for not being male, Jewish, rich, or an ivy league grad. The fact her daughter was happier with me than she'd ever been in her life didn't matter. She emotionally abused her and would use my girlfriend's OCD to manipulate her into not seeing me. She would grill her about our love life (and judging from things she'd said I'm convinced this woman hasn't had any since my girlfriend was conceived). She forced me to submit to an STD test, because of my girlfriend's OCD she'd convinced her I must be diseased, so to stop my girlfriend from panicking I had to do it.
She also treated my girlfriend like a child, literally telling her 'You're not an adult!' and forcing her to live in a bedroom that was decorated for an infant. She threatened to call the cops and say I'd kidnapped her if she spent the night with me. Adding to the creepiness is that she would talk to me as if I was her daughter's babysitter or caretaker. This would include telling me she needed to be home earlier so she could get enough sleep.
Ultimately I would say that she was the cause of our relationship ending because she more or less pushed/encouraged my girlfriend into another mental breakdown so she would leave college. She ended up institutionalized for about 6 months in two different fancy hospitals hundreds/thousands of miles away from me. She would sadly never have been a fully functional adult with her mom around, so I'm glad I don't' have to deal with that crap anymore."
"I intended to marry my ex, but after meeting his mom a few times I really couldn't do it.
She was extremely possessive of her son and never smiled when I was with them. I was the blame for her son not eating properly (I always cooked healthy food for him), sleeping properly (he worked 16 hours a day), dressed properly (I ironed his shirts for him when he was too busy to do it) - any blame you can think of. She was also a single mom who has had two sons with two different ex-husbands and had lots of drama with both. She wanted to retire at 45 but didn't have a stable income, so my ex had to give her money every month so she can 'retire' and not work.
Somehow she always made my ex have to choose between me and her. It was exhausting always catering to her, and extremely difficult for my ex as well. My ex tried to tell his mom that he'll break off contact with her but that didn't work out. She started guilt tripping him about how she took care of him all by herself, that she's getting old (she wasn't old, she was 46), that she's depressed and was thinking of suicide - it was completely unfair to my ex and pretty sad to see.
All in all, I couldn't see myself dealing with the mom so I eventually broke it off before it was too late."
"A guy friend actually convinced me to break up with my boyfriend because of the family trends.
My ex's father was always away on business and his mom was a super cute, bubbly teacher. She would go out with her (female) teacher friends at night and the dad would get super jealous and have massive phone fights. My ex and his sibling became super possessive of their mom and hated their dad to an unhealthy level. They thought both of their parents were probably having affairs. My ex was 18 and had never done a single chore in his entire life. Their pets crapped all over the house and the mom cleaned everything (even my ex's bedroom).
Our mutual guy friend took me to lunch one day and was like 'Seriously, is this the future you want? He's a cool guy, but the dude is seriously a terrible boyfriend and will be the worst husband!'
Turns out he had been cheating on me the whole time anyway with two girls that were best friends, they would just switch off days they hooked up with him."
"His mom was incredibly overbearing and controlled what he could/couldn't do by constant guilt tripping and made up stories. She would drape herself on him for 'snuggles' to the point where it was awkward (I have children of my own and I don't clasp them to my chest and sigh about how wonderful they are when their friends are over) and she would make sly digs at me all the time - what I was wearing, how I looked, why we were going out, how much money was being spent on me (we always split everything 50/50 at my insistence by the way) and just generally made me feel like crap.
He just took it. When I brought it up, he was just super passive and was like 'She's my mom, she's just over protective.' He had a sister actually, who had left home but was clearly the favorite. Whenever she came home, he was forgotten and shrugged off to the point where it was actually mean. Again, I brought it up to him and he was all 'She's just excited to see her daughter.' His dad was a very passive (albeit kind) man himself, who just seemed to roll with whatever his wife wanted and I guess my boyfriend learned that from him.
She was heading for classic mother-in-law from Hell territory. There was NO talking to my boyfriend about it, he batted my concerns and feelings on the matter away like they were nothing. I realized that would be our marriage, and I knew I couldn't live that way. It obviously wasn't the only reason I split from him, but it was a key issue.
I have no regrets. When we split, he VERY quickly started dating and then married a local girl. They were divorced within 2 years, and from what I could gather from mutual friends, his mother was pivotal in the failure."
"I knew a really sweet guy who went to the same college as I did. He was super religious but I didn't mind since it wasn't 'shoving pamphlets in your face' religious. Because he had a pretty strict religious background (much stricter than normal) he couldn't date a girl until he 'courted' her for two years. Essentially, he had to know someone for over two years (regular contact in person and only interacting in groups) before he could officially ask anyone out on a date.
About a year into knowing him we were in the break room chatting about issues with a website and the entire time we're talking he's glancing at the clock nervously like it's going to explode. I check and it's 4:00. I'm still watching it as it turns 4:01 and suddenly I hear a car horn go off. I think that it's just traffic - until it's still going off at 4:04. I ask him what he thinks it's about and he's as white as a sheet and sheepishly explains that it's his dad and he needs to go home now.
It was quite the eye opener. If this dude (his dad) was willing to lay on the horn for over five minutes (during finals) I can't imagine the other crap he'd do. It sucked because the son was just trying to spend a few extra minutes with me, which was sweet, but I told him that I had been doing some thinking and while we were good friends we weren't really compatible relationship wise and he handled it like a champ.
Last month I discovered that I had dodged a bullet. He had a brother that got hit by a truck. He lived but was in critical care, and no one in his family visited him because he stopped attending their church. The fact he moved seven hours away eludes them. They also refused to attend his wedding. I'm very glad they're not my in-laws and I didn't pursue a relationship with someone who refused to visit their critically injured brother because of religious views."
"I dated this girl for two years, she was cute but a little off. Whatever, I was 19, and if you look past that, she was great.
She was very close to her grandfather, I had met him a few times before, he was a sweet guy. One day she gets the news that he's dying, so we drive to see him off.
Meeting the rest of the family, this is where it gets fun.
Her mom didn't strike me as particularly crazy at first, but once I sat down to talk to her, she started getting overly sappy talking about marriage, but 'NO KIDS! Kids are the worst thing that can happen to you!' Erm, okay.
The aunt just wanted to argue with everyone about everything and belittle her grown adult nieces and nephews.
Her sister was very obviously working on the corner and almost always had some white residue around the bottom ring of one nostril or the other.
Her brother offered me a slew of illegal substances while I was there.
And as grandpa laid there, struggling to hold on to the last threads of life, he got to watch his entire family fall apart - mostly arguing over which of his possessions would go to who. There was also some rumors about grandpa taking advantage of family members, this discussed at his bedside as well. It was probably the most screwed up last days a person has ever experienced.
I left early because I couldn't stand it anymore, too much drama over a dying man. I had been contemplating how to break up with her the following few weeks after all that when she started hanging out with her manager at work, and after work, getting rides home with him, and then hooking up him; good riddance."
"Anti Semitic parents who, after finding out I was 1/4 Jewish, reported false tips on my family's business, saying we were in the illegal substance business. My family runs a chain of bed and breakfasts around the country. My mom was personally in charge of this particular one. We got a visit from our local chief of police wanting to search the house. Of course we let him, what do we have to hide? He returned quietly twice more with more cops and two dogs. Long story short, nothing was found, we sued them for slander, and the father is still in prison for calling in false tips as calling in false tips is illegal and they found out the hard way."
"I was in a very serious relationship with a guy whose parents I didn't really like. The first sign was that they were slightly homophobic, I have a lot of LGBTQ friends so this was concerning for me. I thought it was something I could deal with but then, when we were like 3 years in, his father got charged for violating some kids and everyone freaking stood up for him. I work with a lot of children who've been taken advantage of and parents who've gone through the process of charging them, it's not fun and it usually takes a lot of convincing to get parents to do it.
I really think he did it, he's creepy and there's a long list of questionable characteristics of his that led me to think he would and the situation itself seemed fishy. My ex stood up for his father and flipped when I suggested that he may have done it. It all settled and they assumed he was obviously innocent. I have experience with this, they all walk - when they don't walk it's like finding a four leaf clover. I couldn't be part of or even associated with that family, we were done."
"This girl was completely amazing and my best friend in the world - unbelievably kind and inquisitive. We fell in love just a couple months into our friendship and dove headfirst into a relationship once we found out about the other's feelings. It moved very quickly, and I loved every second of it - until I met her parents.
Her parents were extremely wealthy and extremely weird. Her dad was a high-strung workaholic who seemed to do anything he could to stay away from his family, be it traveling for work or training for marathons. But her mom, oh man. She was obsessed with everything vegan and holistic, had a blatant hatred and distrust for anything artificial, especially medication, and was extremely untrusting and would flip from hot to cold on a dime. When she found out the 'baby of the family' and I were intimate, she began essentially bullying and shaming her for it. She pressured her heavily to give extremely personal and violating details about our love life and then would flip her switch when my girlfriend would cave and tell her. She found every possible excuse to shelter her and keep her as her little baby. Mind you, this was in college when I was 22 and she was 21.
Eventually, her parents started doing things like dropping in on campus, calling her to make sure she wasn't sleeping over at my place, and guilt tripping her to stay at home as much as possible to make sure that her 21-year-old daughter wasn't drinking or hooking up with her boyfriend of about nine months at the time. I thought it was a me issue and became very depressed, wondering what was wrong with me, but it turned out that it was just the way her mom was with my girlfriend, and always had been. Her three older sisters were all free to do pretty much whatever, just not her.
I couldn't take it anymore. We split because I didn't see another choice. We literally couldn't be together unless she wanted to cut her mom off, which I didn't want her to have to do, and which she didn't want to do either as it would mean being isolated from her family pretty much, and I would feel completely terrible about. We talked for a while after and still had strong feelings, but her mom insisted that we stop talking and just let the feelings die. We kept in touch in secret for a while and her mom continued to keep a death grip on her, telling her if she slept with a man before marriage again, she would literally be disowned. She had no problem with her other daughters doing it out of wedlock though. I couldn't help but wonder 'WTF is wrong with this woman?' Eventually, my (then ex) told me:
The reason why her mom was so anti-doctor and such was that she was diagnosed severely bipolar in the '80s and refused to believe it. She decided that all doctors are liars and that medication is the devil and she refused to get any of the treatment she desperately needed. She also clearly has some severe attachment issues. Glad I dodged the bullet of engaging with anything too long term with this girl - I thoroughly believe her mom would have literally murdered me if I ever proposed."
"We weren't at the 'marry' stage of things yet (gay marriage wasn't legal back when this happened), but we had been dating for over a year and were considering moving in together.
Apparently, my girlfriend had always used a gender-neutral nickname for my name anytime she talked about me to her family and she never corrected them when they said 'he.' But after a year of us dating, we were finally going to have a family dinner with them (she had already had dinner with my parents, and they loved her). When I showed up, her parents had a really sour look on their face. Apparently, she hadn't told them that I am a girl until about two hours before the dinner was supposed to happen.
Her parents weren't actually homophobic, just severely disappointed that they wouldn't be getting grandkids (girlfriend was an only child), and that soured the mood of the dinner.
Honestly, I'm sure they would have come around eventually, but that whole incident told me that my girlfriend wasn't ready to be out of the closet yet (one of the discussions during dinner was 'don't tell grandma'), and I wasn't going to move in with someone just to be 'the roommate' to most of the people they know. I told her that I'd rather live by myself for now, and she got upset and we had a fight and ended up breaking up."
"The first serious girlfriend I had was when I was 16/17 years old was 18/19 while we dated.
She was a little 'rough around the edges' but man, when I met her family, they were the definition of white trash.
Smoke-filled house with bottles everywhere. Her parents were both in their early 40's but looked mid 60's. Her older sister had a baby that she didn't know who the father was. Her younger brother (nice enough to me) had pending assault charges (and once bought a jar of pee off me to pass a pee test). The other brother was in jail for killing someone while driving wasted.
Every other word out of any of their mouths was a cuss word. Six kids including my girlfriend and not ONE of them had a high school diploma. The two that were still school age had dropped out.
I realized that, despite being poor, this was not a family I wanted to be a part of. I kept dating her a few more months after meeting them, but when I broke it off, her family was the reason, which I actually did tell her."
"I was engaged to a girl and I already knew her family. I didn't know them too well but saw them frequently.
Things turned sour when her mother had to stay with us for a few days. With no exaggeration, her mother wailed like a burn victim in her sleep. The rooms were divided by a plywood closet - so I got it full volume.
Step two of the ladder to relationship disaster happened when the two of them had almost identical mental breakdowns within a week. This family had some major mental health problems, but I overlooked most of it because I was in love with this girl. It made me realize that I could never deal with her mother in a relationship and the very real possibility of her growing up just like her mom killed it for me.
It was hard, but I had to let her go because I just knew I didn't have what it took to handle that level of crazy when the honeymoon was over."
"My ex-fiancée's brother lived across the country and I met him at Christmas for the first time. The guy shows up late and immediately picks a fight with his father who then proceeds to egg him on, calling him a loser and a scumbag. Her brother goes to the guest room and does some serious pipe rips and drank a whole bottle. He comes out much happier and tells me that if I am going to keep doing his sister he better see a ring on her hand in the next 2 months because he was intending to move back.
We broke up a few months later for several reasons, but this did not help at all."
"A friend of mine was almost going to marry her ex last year until she met his parents.
She came from an irreligious household however, the guy she was seeing came from a really Christian home. They had been dating for maybe like six months or so on the premise of no funny business because he wanted to wait. She had done it with other dudes before but she really liked the guy so she wanted to try and wait for him. Over the school break, she was going home with him to meet his family and they were like, waaay more religious and strict than what she expected. They spent the whole week being passive aggressive about how she's done it before and is 'impure.' They even tried to set him up on a date with another girl from his church - while she was in the room.
She dumped him a few days after they got back."
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