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He Really Blew That One

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He Really Blew That One

"I work at an auto parts store. This one guy stole some $60 headlights and literally sprinted out the door. We went to look outside to try and get his license plate, just in time to see him speed off, hit a curb, and blow out his tire. Called the cops and the idiot got arrested and had to have his car towed."

IPhone Issues

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IPhone Issues

"I worked at a telecom in Canada where I am no longer an employee, thank god. A lady comes in with a broken iPhone and is demanding to get a new one for free. In Canada, the iPhone 6s was going for about $400 up front on a two-year contract at a minimum $80 plan. She had a good plan but wanted it for free. She called up our loyalty team in-store and spent the next two hours screaming at them. Finally, they agree to a deal, and she is getting it for zero. She looks at me and tells me 'I do not want a case, and AppleCare is a scam.' We work on commission, so this essentially meant I was getting nothing and ruining my numbers. She keeps telling me to hurry up through the setup and I was trying my best to get her out of the store with everything transferred over and set up. She grabs the phone and starts marching off saying I was a terrible employee. She gets three steps out of the store and drops the phone. Shattered screen, and white screen of death. She ran back in asking what I can do. I shrug and went, 'Sorry, but AppleCare sure would have helped eh?'"

Abusing Her Power At Best Buy Comes Back To Seriously Bite Her In The Butt
Abusing Her Power At Best Buy Comes Back To Seriously Bite Her In The Butt

"I worked at Best Buy 10 or so years ago, and this happened on Black Friday. Most of the customers were in bad moods since they'd been waiting hours to come in and stand in more lines. But this one lady was a raging lunatic. After yelling at everyone in my department about how she NEEDED the laptop that was on sale despite it being sold out, she proceeds to tell us she'll have the store closed down because she 'works with the city and knows the fire marshall and we have too many people in the store.' So she calls him, we tell her to leave, and nothing happens to the store. However, we called them as well to report what she'd said, and she got fired from her job for abuse of power."

No One Dines And Dashes On His Watch

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No One Dines And Dashes On His Watch

"More than a few decades ago I worked at Denny's. I had two male customers that decided to dine and dash. Got their license plate number and reported it to the cops and jokingly mentioned that they didn't even tip! Later that night they got pulled over for a DUI, cops recognized the license plate number from the report, brought them both back to the restaurant and forced them to pay the bill. After they were done paying, the cop just stood there and looked at them and said well? And one guy sheepishly handed me my tip."

Storm Watch

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Storm Watch

"It wasn't the customer, it was the manager. She was AWFUL. She was rude, intentionally picked out favorites and gave them presents in front of everyone (even when they didn't like her and tried to avoid it), messed up schedules on purpose for people she didn't like, etc. Worst manager ever. So there was a huge storm coming in, and people were really worried about it. Like the news telling people to stay home, other businesses closing, etc. So it was up to her to either keep our store open or close it. Of course, she kept it open. Because schools were closed only half our scheduled employees showed up, the rest called in - and she called her favorites and told them they didn't have to come in. Well as the 5 of us who showed up were standing there, watching out the front windows (there were ZERO customers) she starts yelling at us, threatening to write us all up and we are like - no one is here, all the work is done, we are watching the wind BEND TREES OVER and worried about if we are safe/will be able to get home. Right about this time we hear a SUPER LOUD crashing noise. CAHCHUNK - CAHCHUNK - CAHCHUNK - CAHCHUNK - WHAM as the industrial air conditioner on top of the building got BLOWN OFF. Like it rolled along the roof, then went flying into the parking lot - right onto her car. It was so perfect it was surreal. Dead center, smashed her car flat. Like if she had been in it, she would have died. And it only happened because she parked right up by the building, where we had SPECIFICALLY been told not to park. All our cars were out in the farthest corner of the lot. We later found out her car wasn't paid off, it was some stupidly expensive BMW or something, and her insurance didn't cover the damage because it was an 'act of god.'"

Sorry, Wrong Number

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Sorry, Wrong Number

"I used to be a night time manager at a pizza place downtown. We were literally around the corner from a direct competitor. They had a carry-out window and offered that service all night. We did not and closed our doors at 10:00 and only offered delivery service after that. It's worth mentioning we were quite friendly with the local PD and they frequently sat in our parking lot at night to catch up on paperwork, watch for drunk drivers, etc. One night at about 11:30 I had a woman and a man start banging on our door. I politely (but loudly) told them through the door we close carry-out at 10. The woman goes ballistic and starts screaming and hitting the door while the man just stands there watching trying to look hard. I ask another employee to keep an eye on me in case the situation escalates and step out another side door in order to be able to actually converse with them. This woman is absolutely nuclear at this point, screaming, cussing. I let her finish and I inform her that if she called and ordered it was probably our friendly neighbors with the carry-out window. I get accused of calling her stupid, so I ask her to check her phone and tell me which number she called. She says, 'I don't have to, I know I called y'all and YOU took my order!' At this point, I informed her that there is absolutely no way I took a carry-out order after we closed carry-out.

Then the man joins in and starts taking a very aggressive posture and tone with me and informs me that I 'better let them in and get their food.' I flat out said no.The man then shoves me and I stumble back about three feet, he goes to swing at me and luckily misses. At about the same time the woman attempts to rush me there is a sound of 'WOOOP WOOOP' and flashing blue lights behind them. This doesn't stop them from continuing to try to assault me, however, the two uniformed police officers that happened to have just pulled in take care of that very quickly. Another squad car shows up, the two have been cuffed and placed in the cars, the officers have been given a copy of the security footage. I ask the officer I'm talking to if, for the sake of curiosity, if he could possibly try to convince her to tell him the phone number she called. He walks me back out to the car she's in and somehow convinces her to do this. She recites the number while glaring at me with so much vitriol and hatred in her voice. 'XXX-XXX-7272 you stupid idiot.' I smile at her and inform her 'Our number is XXX-XXX-3030. We are Domino's, that's the number for Papa John's'"

The DVD Thieves Epic Escape
The DVD Thieves Epic Escape

"Way back when I used to be a retail slave I worked at an electronics retailer (still in business). We had some guys going around trying to lift DVDs. They were cutting the barcodes off to remove the sensors so they wouldn't go off on their way out. Loss Prevention notices and starts sending over floor representatives to see how they are doing, if they need help, etc. Finally, Loss Prevention goes over and just hands them a hand basket because they had nothing in their hands and it was showing the guys that we knew what they were doing. So they start wandering around, ditching the DVDs as they go, and as soon as they drop one an employee comes up and grabs it. So they start freaking out. They dump the rest and just book it towards the door full speed. No one chased them because they ditched all the merchandise. As they exit, one of the dudes turns around and starts flipping everyone off yelling 'Screw [store name]!!!!' As he's doing this he steps off the curb into the front driveway in the parking lot and promptly gets hit by a car. It was in the lot so it was only hard enough to knock him over, but he had to scramble to get back on his feet and keep running."

Justice Was Served

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Justice Was Served

"I'm a public defender and once I was representing a scumbag client who was a massive meth head who got high and beat the crap out of her eight-year-old daughter with a belt after she accidentally broke mommy's meth pipe. She was charged with child cruelty and possession of meth, and, given her criminal record, the DA's plea offer was three years of prison. Needless to say, my client didn't want to go to prison for 'giving that [c-word] what she deserved' and started freaking out at me when I told her that's the best offer I was going to get from the DA, and it was either accept that offer or go to trial. I further pointed out the mountain of evidence against her, primarily: the photographs of her daughter's injuries, the bloody belt that was recovered from her bedroom, the broken meth pipe w/ meth residue in it, and the fact that her daughter was going to testify against her at trial.

After she was done cursing me out, calling me a 'public pretender,' and every other derogatory name she could think of, she fired me and somehow managed to hire a private attorney for the low price of $8,000 (I still don't know how she managed to come up with that, but I have plenty of reliable guesses). The private attorney 'guaranteed' her that he could win her case at trial, and that's exactly what she chose to do.

Long story short, the private attorney clearly never even read this woman's file before trial. The trial lasted roughly three hours, the jury was literally out for only five minutes, and the judge sentenced her to ten years in prison.

It was a good day."

"You Get All Kinds On The Late Shift"

"As a teenager, I was working part time at a convenience store. I was being trained by the late night cashier. This dude comes in and grabs a bunch of cans of vegetables and such, and comes to the counter and stacks the cans in a very specific way, like a weird kind of pyramid on the counter.

As the experienced cashier (my trainer) takes each can off the pyramid and rings it up, she reaches the end of the stack and we realize that the weirdo has his junk out and has it laying on the counter behind the cans.

Without saying a word, the trainer grabs one of the big heavy metal cans of beans and slams it down as hard as she can on the guy's member. He screamed an incredible scream of searing pain, grabbed his crotch, and ran out of the store.

She to me: (calmly) 'You get all kinds on the late shift.'

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"Your Son Has Been..."

"I worked for an online banking help desk and this 18-year-old lad phoned up saying he had seen a transaction for £7 to allpay.net and because he didn't recognize it, he decided the bank was robbing him of £7 and that I was in on it. Then he gets his dad on the phone who stuck up for his jerk of a son, saying I was a pathetic scumbag for stealing £7 off an 18-year-old boy, even though it was a debit card transaction and I simply worked in the department which helped people use online banking. But anyway, I phoned our debit card services to see if they could give any more information, and boy could they. I then had the pleasure of relaying back to this little jerk's equally jerky father the following: 'Hi sir, thanks for holding. I've checked with our debit card services team and I now understand why your son would not have recognized the payee 'allpay.net.' That's a deliberately vague term used for discretion when the customer has subscribed to online pornography. That's what it was for. Your son has been paying for online pornography. Would you like to pop him back on the phone so I can tell him it's a payment for his pornography, or will you pass on the information?' The father just muttered that the issue did not require any further investigation, thanked me for looking into it and hung up."

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"They Got Arrested For..."

"I was working at a restaurant and there was this family who were all extremely trashy and didn't look like they had a lot of money, despite ordering a bunch of expensive steaks and drinking a bunch of drinks. They were rude the whole time, treating me like I was their butler or slave, then asked for a manager to complain that their steaks tasted rotten (after they had already finished) and that their drinks didn't taste like they had any alcohol in them (again, finished). They were clearly just trying to get free food. My manager noticed the way they were treating me and knew they were full of garbage and refused to comp their meal as they were demanding. The began yelling and cussing us out and ended up trying to leave without paying only to have their car not start in the parking lot. My manager called the police and one of them got arrested for disorderly conduct and drug possession and the rest ended up walking after having their car towed."

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"She Had A Fit Of Coughing, Then..."

"I was waiting at a hotel reception while a young staff member checked me in. A really obnoxious woman flounced over, interrupted what the girl was doing and proceeded to complain about the standard of the kettle in her room. She ranted on and on about only having a 'normal kettle' until I told her to wise up and get in bloody line behind me. She shouted that she had been traveling all day and that the room was not a suitable standard. I pointed out it was a freaking airport hotel, we'd all been traveling all day and that she should just get lost. By now the girl at the desk was blood red and tearful. The woman banged her fist on the desk, demanded to see a manager, and then had a fit of coughing. She promptly shat herself all through her beige trousers. She didn't hang around after that."

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"He Slammed Into..."

"I was working the window at McDonald's late at night. A guy orders whatever and pulls up to the window. I'm cooking and handling the window, so I wasn't there when the customer pulled up. When I walked up to the window, I didn't see the idiot with trash in his lap. I open the window to take his card/cash and he throws a bag of trash at me. I take a step back, bothered that I just got trash thrown at me, and I watch his car speed off. I'm pissed, but there's nothing I can do. A couple seconds later I hear a small bang of metal on metal. I walk to the lobby and look out the windows. The idiot slammed into a police cruiser who was about to loop around and use the drive thru himself. Of course, I also went out to tell the officer what just happened to me."

Serves Him Right

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Serves Him Right

"A guy comes in and is being a complete jerk. He was not wanting to show ID to buy beer even though he looked 20 at the oldest, and was constantly yelling and swearing. He also had parked in the handicap spot despite not having handicap tags or plates on his car. One of my regular customers, who is a sheriff's deputy, was also in the store at the same time. He saw how the guy was acting. He saw where he was parked. So he went out, got his ticket book, and wrote the guy a ticket. When the guy realized he wasn't getting his beer, he went outside to find he was also getting ticketed. I could not stop laughing."

Her Infant Was Still...

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Her Infant Was Still...

"When I worked the take out counter, I used to return customer credit cards by setting them on the Square podium used to swipe them so they ended up right by them when I swung the screen around for them to sign and such. One lunch rush, one lady decided this was an offense of the highest order and yelled at me for not placing it directly in her hand. I stupidly engaged her and tried to explain that I did that for everybody which got me a continued lecture about how she is the customer and good service is doing what she wants and so on. There were about of dozen people eating at our tables and five people in the line behind her so she was straight hamming it up, making sure everyone saw her putting me in my place. Unfortunately for her, the dramatic performance proved to be a bit too distracting and she stormed out without her infant. This was of course noticed by pretty much everyone in the building since she had just made herself the center of attention. One of the customers even had to run after her and stop her from driving away. For the record, there is no real subtle way to pick up a full-sized child carrier."

His Behavior At RadioShack Caused His Own Karmic Justice
His Behavior At RadioShack Caused His Own Karmic Justice

"I used to work at a RadioShack in my area during college. It was never really busy on Sundays so I was generally the only worker there. On this particular Sunday morning I was incredibly tired from the night before, so I was kind of pissed about having to come in on a day when no one was going to show up. I got even more pissed when I pulled into the parking lot and was instantly greeted by a man who proceeded to start yelling at me. I put on my sales associate smile and kindly asked what the problem was. 'I've been waiting here for 30 minutes and you are late!' I wasn't late, I was actually 15 minutes early. He then followed closely behind me to the door and was screaming at me the whole way, saying things like 'I'm never coming back to this store.'

When I finally got the door open, I let him know that I had to turn the alarm off and count the register before I could help him. This also made him angry but at this point, I didn't care. I was nice enough to try and help him 15 minutes before we opened, the least he could do was not be a jerk. Anyway, I finally get to help the guy out and he wants to know about batteries. Cool, easy. I proceed to show him our batteries and their prices. He goes off. He starts screaming and yelling about how everything was outrageous and the prices were terrible and apparently, I had treated him like garbage. He started to pound his fist on the counter and started yelling again about how we didn't have any name brand batteries (we did) and how RadioShack was a communist by trying to push their batteries on their customers. I calmly told him that there was nothing I could do and asked if I could help him with anything else. He stormed off, punched a battery display, and proceeded to slam face first into our door. Turns out that since he was yelling and screaming at me while I was unlocking the doors, I forgot to unlock the other one. He quickly looked around to see if I had saw him. I just waved and told him to have a great day. He spun out of the parking lot and I never saw him again."

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"What Are You Going To Do About It?"

"I was standing at the counter of the pizza place I work at. A lady storms in and slams a pizza down on the counter. 'This isn't the pizza I ordered, what are you going to do about it?' I look at the pizza, then at my buddy Nick and turn back to her and said, 'Nothing.' She then goes on a long rant telling how we are going to be fired, how stupid and incompetent we were, she actually told me I must be retarded, then asked why we weren't going to do anything? I said, 'Because that pizza came from the pizza shop across the street.' I think she actually managed to shrink in size and slink out looking so pathetic and beaten I almost felt bad for laughing until tears dripped down my face as she slunk off."

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"Join Me At The Bar..."

"Once I saw a woman being really terrible to her kids. They were maybe 6 and 9 but she was swearing at them (things I have never even heard said to an adult) and calling them names they were both crying hysterically just trying to eat their pizza. The only other table in the place was a trio of construction workers sitting behind them. I had asked the woman several times to calm down but she would just say she wasn't hurting anyone and basically to butt out. She would swear at me and threw a piece of chicken at me as I walked away. I called my manager up but he didn't like to remove customers so he wanted to wait and see if this continued. Then she smacked one of the little girls on the back of the head. Before my manager or I could react, one of the construction workers walked over and he asked the mom to join him at the bar. I think she thought he was hitting on her cause she was all smiles and flirty. As soon as she was away from the kids he told her: 'If I see you lay a finger on those kids again I will do the same thing to you but 10 times worse. Have a nice evening.' She immediately left and they followed her to the door. I can only hope she learned something."

Spilled Milk

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Spilled Milk

"It was the best day of my life. I work in a small café, it was about 10:30 am on a weekday morning, nice and quiet. In comes this woman (must be about 58-62) and her husband and their grandchild. The wee boy was adorable, and the grandmother was all over him. He sat beside her and she constantly talked to him, ignoring her husband. Everything is fine, someone takes their order and then I go to take stuff over. The wee boy's milk is ready first, just milk in a Styrofoam cup with a lid and straw. He must be 2 or 3 and that's just what we do for kids that age. I take it over and she looks at me like I've put a turd on the table. She says she wanted it in a cup and I explain the only other cups we have are coffee mugs, they're heavy for a small child, and it's easy to spill stuff out of them. She says she wants it anyway, so I go back to the bar area. When I go back up another girl is taking over a latte and another coffee. The woman goes crazy, screaming, 'DO YOU NOT USE CUPS IN HERE?' because she got a latte glass, so we bring that back too. Just as I'm about to take the milk in a mug back her sandwich is ready, so I take it over with the milk. She looks at the sandwich like it's the last straw. 'That's not chicken, that's revolting!' I explain that, as it says on the menu, it's chicken and parmesan mayonnaise. She shakes her head like I'm an idiot and just thrusts it back at me. I ignore her, don't ask if she wants something else, I just walk away. Then I hear a yell and a crash. The wee boy picked up the mug of milk, it must have been too heavy because he dropped it, soaking both himself and the grandmother and smashing the cup on the floor. Sure, we had to clean it up, but my smugness was as close as I dared get to 'I told you so.'"

When Making A Dramatic Exit Goes Hilariously Wrong

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When Making A Dramatic Exit Goes Hilariously Wrong

"I work at a hotel's front desk. One day we had a guest who was claiming that his room was not up to his standards and decided to make a big deal about it the next morning. He was so rude to the point of almost making a co-worker cry of desperation because she refused to compensate the night, as his arguments seemed really fake and invalid. Once he saw he was not going to get anything back, he threw his receipt on the floor and powered walked his way out into a very clean glass door that was recently cleaned. His sunglasses broke, causing him a small cut on the upper part of his nose. My co-worker and I couldn't stop laughing the second he walked out even angrier."

Trumpet Trash-Talker
Trumpet Trash-Talker

"I was working at a music store. We do a lot of business in high-end band instruments (tubas, clarinets, etc). We only put them on sale for a couple weeks every year, and we were nearing the end of the sale. An older guy comes in to look at trumpets, and he's ogling the most expensive one we had on display, really standing there for a good few minutes. My coworker asks him if he wants any help, or if he's interested in trying it out, and the customer just starts talking trash about the expensive trumpet. 'It's nice, but I'm really not that impressed. $3400? That's too much for that thing.' Right at that moment we get a phone call asking us for that same model trumpet, and the customer is willing to pay for it in full over the phone to reserve it. Normally we would have 3 or 4 of these horns around but the sale was good and the very last one was getting trash-talked by this old guy. My other coworker just strolls up behind the dude, plucks it off the wall, and the old dude just goes ballistic, yelling, and calling us all incompetent. It turns out he really wanted it, but was pretending not to in order to try to get us to lower the price. There was nothing we could do for him because the sale was only on stuff we had in stock. He eventually ordered one (costing him an extra few hundred bucks). We laughed about that one for a long time."

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