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Serial Pooper
Serial Pooper

"A lady wanted us to come out and investigate because she believes while she was out, two people broke in to her home and sh-t in her toilet. Just one of them though, the other was acting as a lookout. Didn't really delve into that one" (Source).

Your Problem Now
Your Problem Now

"Had a guy report he had been kidnapped and drugged against his will. He had managed to escape and had run across town to evade his captors. I was able to rendezvous with him and bring him back to the station. He told me this grand story about being taken across the county and by people he thought were his family no less. When I asked him their names and where he had been held he got all sheepish and said he didn't want to make enemies and just wanted to go home. I started driving him towards his home and dropped him off at a gas station just outside my jurisdiction. Sorry neighboring detachment. He's your problem now" (Source).

Waste of Time
Waste of Time

"Sadly, in so many cases, the shooting victim won't tell you at what location he was shot, let alone the circumstances surrounding the shooting. The first part of the investigation often involves disproving the victim's account. Guy says he was shot on Fifth Street and walked to the hospital, but you have reports of sounds of gunshots on 15th Street and have video of him being dropped off in an Impala. Many times it's a case of retribution or neighborhood beefs, where an accurate narrative by the victim would require the backstory that he shot the suspect's friend the week before.
It's disheartening when the main initial thrust of the shooting investigation is to figure out where it happened and why. And then the victim goes AWOL and provided a bad address and phone number, so then you need to hunt him down to convince him to tell you what really happened. This all takes hours and hours away from investigating lesser crimes where the victim's are honest and forthcoming" (Source).

Turn Down that Racket
Turn Down that Racket

"Last week a woman called 911 to report that the wind was loud and making too much noise. She wanted us to find out why it was so loud and if we could turn down the volume of the wind" (Source).

A Merciful Wife
A Merciful Wife

"I had been alerted to a well known local philanthropist, turned up dead. These were the days where physician assisted euthanasia was illegal in most of the developed world. This man, I had known him quite well and he had been suffering from a very serious terminal illness that was going to kill him before his 40th birthday, shattering his family... Especially his 2 young children. He was always donating to local charities, he gave a struggling single mother $25,000 at Christmas one year so she could pay off her debts, repair her car, buy food and presents for her children. An autopsy had determined that he had been murdered, intentional overdose of morphine. The Health Authority and Department of Justice wanted us to investigate and bring the person who essentially murders him to justice. We chalked it up that there was no way we could ever determine who it was that killed him. Years later, his wife sent our department a letter saying she gave her husband the lethal dose to put him out of his misery. I wish I had never known" (Source).

Be Happy we Found it
Be Happy we Found it

"Large city police officer here, every day there are jobs we get that we don't really care about. Most people would be surprised if we said we found stolen cars and returned them to the owner without much investigation afterwards" (Source).

Not a Priority
Not a Priority

"Most retails thefts in the city are reported and receive no further investigation. If all the store has is a short video of a dude wearing a hoodie walking out a store with $40 bucks worth of merchandise there's not going be much investigating. A retail theft will never be a big city priority" (Source).

Amber Alert
Amber Alert

"This happened to a neighboring department but they had a guy who's truck was stolen with his 2 year old nephew inside. Amber Alert put out, officers called in, 5-6 departments around the area searching with helicopters etc. Turns out the child was with the mother sleeping. The guys truck was stolen and he lied about his nephew being in it thinking we would look harder to get his truck back" (Source).

Come Back When you Turn 18.
Come Back When you Turn 18.

"I loathe solving cases where a juvenile offender did it. Our juvenile justice system is a torment to victims, witnesses, and investigators. All of the following applies to Florida's Ninth Circuit. It may be significantly different in other states, and somewhat different elsewhere in Florida. In adult court, witnesses are given specific times to show up and know in advance that you are definitely going to testify. In juvenile court, on the day of court, you have to show up when the courtroom doors open, and sit there until the judge gets around to the juvenile's case. A significant amount of the time, the juvenile doesn't show up, so you have to come back the next time, and the judge is often unwilling to sign a custody order for a juvenile's failure to appear on a minor offense. The rest of the time (or so it seems), as soon as the defense sees that all the witnesses are there, they plead no contest. If even one of the witnesses doesn't show up (it seems) the prosecutors drop the case and those of us who bothered to show up have all wasted our time. And the judges never hold anyone in contempt for not showing up. It's one massive exercise in futility, and it gives juveniles the false impression that criminal justice is something to be laughed at and ignored. The minute they turn 18, the court system is so much more efficient (still not perfect, but outstanding when compared to juvenile justice) that they wind up with serious records right out the gate. Avoiding juvenile offenders is a part of why I work fraud crimes now. Juveniles tend not to be using stolen credit cards, passing forged checks, and engaging in schemes and cons" (Source).

Refer them Elsewhere
Refer them Elsewhere

"Vandalism, unless there is a video of it, we personally witness it, or we get a confession we can't arrest. We just take the report and refer them elsewhere" (Source).

I'm Sorry Tammy
I'm Sorry Tammy

"Had an 18 month old murdered by his mom's boyfriend. Don't know if it was intentional or accidental. Mom finds the kid after she gets off work. He's staged in his crib all tucked in but had been dead for several hours. Suspect had cut his wrists, written an apology in his blood on the bathroom wall 'I'm sorry Tammy'. The suspect had laid down in bed to wait to bleed out. Both wrists. We could tell because of the blood pooling on the bed. It took to long so the suspect got up and left the house. I didn't care to find him to save him from his suicide attempt. I guess the crime was solved we knew who had done it. I would have had too try to save the guy so he could go to court but his death was easier and seemed more just. It's part of the job though so we were going to look. D--ks put out a BOLO on his car. We got a hit immediately. The suspect had driven into a neighboring county out in the county. He drove into a concrete barrier. They estimated he was going about 80mph. He wasn't belted in and was ejected through the windshield. The vehicle rolled and landed on him. The coroner couldn't tell which impact killed him. This was some years ago. The guys on the case all got grand cordon awards. I wear the ribbon on my class A's. We didn't do anything though really. It's just a reminder of how f--ked up it gets. I still remember the kids full name. His mother's name. I remember my Sargent saying '[the victim] hasn't been down long he's got a full belly' while I hooked up an AED and my partner did CPR. I Remember thinking 'he's not full his stomach is distended he's been down to long', while we tried to save a dead child.
That is the time I didn't want to find a suspect" (Source).

Almost a Vigilante
Almost a Vigilante

"Ex cop, NSW - Australia. 7 years. I really never wanted to find the answer to two particular murders in my area. 2 known sexual offenders were killed in the space of 8 weeks. One was a rock spider (pedophile), the other used to drug women. The 2 issues were unrelated. Only one of the alleged offenders was caught (also a scumbag 1%). He was released after a week due to lack of evidence. I know it's bad to wish death on people but these two blokes were just rancid. As a cop it was my job to find the offenders but as a human I had no interest in solving the issue at all. Luckily I was never in charge of the investigations" (Source).

"...When you get out."

"I was a Corrections Officer and we worked with the police on an almost daily basis. We'd get to chatting and I found, in my experience, cops hated car chases, they hated domestic disputes but most of all, they hated suicides. I don't think I know a cop who doesn't have a suicide story where they can actually tell the whole thing. Being a cop (and a Prison CO) puts you into contact with some of the lowest forms of human life, people for whom you couldn't shed a tear; but, it's the innocent people. The victims of car accidents, suicides and families of victims that really bother us.
As a CO, I had a little old lady who'd take a 4 hour bus ride to come to the prison to speak with her nephew. He was a real piece of sh-t, but she'd knit him sweaters, show him the sweaters and say 'I'll put this in the drawer for when you get out'. She'd bring him food (which he could eat) and they'd talk and one of the COs would drive her back to the bus station. She broke my heart, it's always the people left behind or those suffering that really get to us" (Source).

Clean-up is Going to Take Forever.
Clean-up is Going to Take Forever.

"If you mean in a serious manner of 'I just don't care if this gets solved', that thought doesn't happen much at all to me. I mean, that is why I got into the profession after all... to solve stuff and generally make people feel secure in their lives. Now, when people want to really report silly things as crimes, such as your house getting toilet papered... then yes, I don't care" (Source).

Put your Pants on
Put your Pants on

"Anything involving a naked person-man or woman it's never a fun time (drugs/mental illness/poo flinging)" (Source).

Joe Dirt
Joe Dirt

"Rolling along during early evening of a mid-shift patrol, got a radio call from dispatch: 'Patrol-1, Dispatch, respond to 1234 XYZ street, contact complainant.' Recognizing the address, I replied back, 'Dispatch, Patrol-1, mark us enroute... Loud noise complaint yet again from that address?' 'Patrol-1, Dispatch, that's a negative... subject has a damage complaint.' Intriguing. The Joe Dirt level subject at that address had been a frequent flier member of our seemingly nightly list of loud noise complaints for the area, always having beer fueled parties with his buddies, often dragging his large speakers out onto his back patio to entertain themselves (and the surrounding 3 blocks) with their taste in tunes.
Pulling up out front, we report on scene and exit the patrol car and start to approach the house, sort of surprised at it being so quiet for this time of night. Subject opens the front door and steps out to greet us dressed in the standard attire for Joe Dirt calls... jeans, no shirt, no shoes. (It's almost like a uniform.) He immediately starts to yell at us...
'Always coming around to bother us when we're just having a little fun, but where were you when I needed you to do your job?!?!?' 'You are right Joe, this is a change to have you calling us instead of the normal routine... What's going on?' 'Here, I'll show you', He then walks around the side of the house (much to my relief, as I was fairly sure we'd find piles of paperwork inspiring problems if we'd gone through the house) to the side gate and into the back yard.
Bemused, we follow along, coming to a stop as Joe says 'I just got home to find this', points with both hands and just starts cursing... His two tower speakers were there, but the wires had been cut... Several times. Each of the speakers themselves bore several stabbing holes. From the size of the holes, I'm guessing someone used one of those large Rambo Knives to vent their frustrations over lost sleep. To top it all off, as I stepped closer to get a better look at the damage, the smell of gasoline hit me. They had doused both towers with gas and even poured some inside each one.
'Well Joe, this all looks like the work of someone with some emotional investment in what they were doing... if these had been people we'd be looking for the girlfriend or wife. Obviously this was someone who knew you... Do you have anyone you've made angry that you know of?' My partner devolved into an unexpected coughing fit, hiding his mouth behind his fist. Pretty sure he owed me a coke for having made him laugh. Joe was doing his best impersonation of a groundhog with the comment flying high over his head. 'No way man... this had to be one of those a--holes that always calls you whenever I have a few friends over. You should pull that list to find out who did this!' 'Hmmmm. Great idea Joe. We'll do that. Here, let us get a few photos; we already have your info on file so we should be able to put the report together pretty easy.' Minutes later, seatbelting back into the car as we calling in clear to Dispatch, I look over at my partner, 'Dinner?', he nodded, 'Dinner'" (Source).

No Regrets
No Regrets

"The case of why I got fired. A co worker of mine had done something wrong. Nothing horrible, but a mere stupid mistake. I was there at the time, bit I did not care. I told him to pay better attention next time, and be done with it. But my superiors did not agree. They wanted him gone, so they ordered, yes ordered me to make the facts worse than they actually were. I was supposed to lie for them. I refused on the spot, and they told me, that could harm my career. I said I did not care, and that officers from the royal army should not behave in such a way. Before I knew it, they found someone else that lied about what he did, and about what I did. As we had no way of disproving what they told people we did, we both got fired without honors. It was done publicly, stripped of rank and honors. We both laughed and walked away, said this is not the kind of people we wanted to work for in the first place. And that they could go and f--k themselves. We were both military police officers. I got a new job shortly after that and made almost twice the money I did there. Best decision of my life, and I have no regrets for not putting in a false statement. So I decided not to press charges, because we had no way of proving we did not do the things they claimed we did" (Source).

We Don't Except Credit Cards.
We Don't Except Credit Cards.

"A hooker with a nasty attitude screamed at me for fifteen minutes about how a check one of her less scrupulous clients had given her had bounced. Considering she didn't know who he was or where we could find him, and we weren't about to set up 24/7 surveillance to identify her John, we told her in no certain terms, to next time, take cash" (Source).

A Crazy Woman
A Crazy Woman

"Now minor crimes, tons of those. Just this past weekend a guys car was just destroyed. 2013 Chrysler 300, pretty nice. Girls name etched into both sides, all windows smashed. Huge rock through the sunroof. Massive, huge dent to the hood from something. All four tires flat. Just destroyed this car. Guy tells us his ex-girlfriend did it. Ex-girlfriend is mad because he has a new girlfriend Go over to ex-girlfriends apartment (Same apartment complex), eviction notice on the door. Ex-girlfriend claims she had no idea, doesn't know who did it. We all know she did it. Ex-girlfriend explains this guy left her and his four kids and ran off with neighbor chick. Stopped paying the power, gas, rent, etc without telling her. Comes home today to find out bills haven't been paid and they are getting evicted. She had quit her last job because he was a controlling d--k and didn't like her working. Just recently started working again. Alright, kind of feel bad but she still did something illegal so going to investigate further. Go back to talk to car owner again. Guy is pissed we didn't arrest her and is now pissing me off, just being a d--k. Tell him we are going to contact the rental office to look at the cameras. I mention that his kids are getting evicted. Condescending, self-centered prick corrects me and tells me only three of the four are his kids. That it's not his problem, those are her kids and she needs to take care of them. We had words. He threatened to complain, never did or hasn't yet" (Source).

Live Your Life
Live Your Life

"My uncle was a cop in Florida in the 90s. They were finding dead kids in by the interstate for maybe 5 years or so before my uncle retired. No suspects, kids abducted within 100 miles or so. At the peak, it'd be one body ever 2 months, but usually they found two a year. Never been solved. After he retired, evidence photos in some of those cases got destroyed in a flood. For like 10 years after uncle's retirement, his department would call him when a similar case came through so he'd reproduce the details for them. He stopped responding to those requests at some point, said he wants to live the rest of his life without seeing another dead child" (Source).

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