"In my office there was an employee who was fired 20 years ago, but his excuses for being late or staying home still live on. He had dozens of dead relatives, and multiple ongoing problems with his car. He even was late one day because he backed up over a cat and was too upset to drive. But I think my favorite one was when he was waxing his kitchen floor, and waxed himself into a corner. Apparently he had to stand there for an hour until the wax dried. I've never met him but I feel that I know him well from his excuses. Just the other day, I woke up after a windstorm overnight to find my dead end street completely blocked by a downed tree. I emailed my excuse for being late to my boss. Her joking reply-'You sound just like [fibbing ex-employee].' Even 20 years later his legend remains" (Source).
"A fresh hire, and trouble from the start. Told the supervisor that she had to have Mondays, Wednesdays and Sundays off for church, needed Tuesdays off for classes at the Y, needed at least one evening off to spend with her husband, and so on. She was the kind of person you knew wasn't going to last long, especially in a hospital setting. You just don't get to name your terms like that. But for whatever reason, she got hired. Anyway, one day, she went home for lunch. We didn't get a long lunch, it was usually right on a half hour and not worth going off-campus. But she drove home to her apartment across town, and we didn't hear from her for a couple more hours. Finally, she called and said, 'I came home and forgot I was working today. Can I just stay? Do I have to come back in?' The supervisor said that no, she did not have to come back in (ever)" (Source).
"I once worked with someone who was either bored, incompetent or a masochist. The supervisor in the finance department was losing their patience with why my co- worker was either late, or disappeared over long stretches during the day. All the time. OK, so my supervisor, let's call him Bob loses it after Mr. Late and Disappearance waltzes into our room (6 people 6 desks in one big room crunching/analyzing numbers) after being gone for 2 hrs. Bob starts by asking nicely why the consistent lateness and disappearance Mr. Late shrugs. Bob escalates his questions. Mr. Late starts shuffling his feet - you know - uncomfortable. The questions and accusations increase. Finally, Mr. Late says, and I will never forget this, 'Look I have had diarrhea and constipation, on and off, for the last, maybe, 7 months. I sit on the can in pain. Nothing works. So, if you fire me, know s--t is on your hands.' Silence. We all go back to work. Two days later, Mr. Late quits. He didn't have stomach problems, he was job searching and training for a triathlon during the work day" (Source).
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