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Silk robes and boxers
1. Silk robes and boxers

Dress rehearsals. Loose silky robes, boxers and cleavage were an erection's wet dream. Thanks to said loose silk robes and boxers I had no chance of hiding it from her. I was 17 at the time, it might as well have been a lead pipe poking her in the back.

She knew. I knew she knew.

Then she reaches back and grabs it, she starts squeezing and slowly rubbing and I'm freaking out. Our teacher is right there. Right there talking about...who gives a crap...

So I obviously fired off about ten seconds in. She let's out a muted "oh damn" and pulls her hand away quickly. Teacher hears and asks what's wrong. She does the cough giggle and tells him it's nothing and he goes on droning away. We never talked about it. I tried once but she acted like it never happened. Best god damn Handy J I've ever gotten (Source).

Romeo and Juliet
2. Romeo and Juliet

15-year-old me was roped into being Romeo in the school drama class production of Romeo and Juliet. The start of one scene had Juliet and I waking up in bed together, slightly suggestive but no big deal, at least not until one of my mates in the crowd yelled "stick it in her" (Source).

3. "I had peanut butter today!"

Not me but a friend of mine. He was supposed to do a kiss during this one scene, except just before their lips touched, the girl cries out "I had peanut butter today!".

Thank god she said something, because he was deathly allergic (Source).

Voldemort gets awkward
4. Voldemort gets awkward

I read an interview with Ralph Fiennes where he was asked this question. He said something like: "yeah, there is always this awkwardness with your partner as in: "sorry if I get aroused, also sorry if I don't" (Source).

The Judo seminar
5. The Judo seminar

Not a production, but at a Judo seminar I attended when I was 16. We all got paired up with similar sized opponents. In my case it was a woman in her mid 20s. We were all required as pairs to demonstrate ground fighting techniques in front of the class. She was very attractive and being 16 I had no control over the erection that showed up from that much close contact with her. It did not help that whenever she would mount my chest her gi would fall open and her breasts, despite her sports bra, would fall in front of my face.

I kept really hoping she wouldn't notice, but it was more than a little obvious despite my efforts to concentrate on the fighting.

When it became our turn to demonstrate for the class she immediately swatted me in the groin while we were going to the ground. Needless to say I lost my erection immediately. While it really hurt I was grateful to her for the quick thinking. I was able to get through the routine without any embarrassment.

Afterward I apologized, and she just looked at me and said, "for what?" Then she walked away without another word.

I saw her a few months later at a competition with I'm assuming her husband. She didn't speak to me, but when she saw me she smiled and winked.

To this day I still feel really awkward about it (Source).

A little Seinfeld to lighten the mood
6. A little Seinfeld to lighten the mood

It's not weird with someone you trust. I had to simulate sex on stage, me lying on my back on a table, him standing up. I'd known the guy since high school and, despite drama kids being notoriously horny and incestuous amongst their "theatre family," we never had any feelings between us. Fast forward to us in our twenties, we could commit to the scene and still joke about it later.

My favorite memory about it is the day the director told us she was going to play some music during the scene to test out what she'd want to use onstage. So we were getting into it and all of a sudden, we hear the bass line from Seinfeld. It took forever for us to stop laughing and get back into serious sex mode (Source).

A new interpretation
7. A new interpretation

I was in Westside Story once in youth theatre, and the guy playing the lead was a total creep. There's a touching scene where he comes across the dead body of his love (Maria) and he's supposed to kiss her gently goodbye, only this guy thought "what an opportunity" and stuck his tongue in. Director went apesh_t (Source).

A bloody kiss
8. A bloody kiss

I had a kiss scene in a movie where the girl punches me in the face off the bed and then follows me down and kisses me. About two takes in, she accidentally punched me in the face for real. Blood starts pouring out of my mouth, we actually have to stop to get me cleaned up.

The kicker was that she had to do a bunch of close up shots kissing me, immediately after I stopped bleeding, so I guess that was payback? (Source)

20 kisses later...
9. 20 kisses later...

I was Claudius in a high school production of Hamlet and we were doing a rehearsal of the introduction of Gertrude where she kisses her husband. The girl and me were ok friends and we'd kissed on stage before so it wasn't a huge deal, except one day we get stuck in a loop where one guy sucked at remembering his lines so we did it like 20 times and on the third run she just started shoving her tongue down my throat every take. On take 7 I had no idea what to do, by take 20 I was confused and horny and had no clue what to do with that information (Source).

10. "Her eyes got wide and she almost jumped back"

Not a kiss scene, but a dance scene. This girl who I danced with in a prom scene had just gotten pissed off at her boyfriend, so she starts pressing herself up against me during rehearsals. When it moved, her eyes got wide and she almost jumped back (Source).

That's some cast party...
11. That's some cast party...

Most professionals can manage to separate acting from any real feeling, although theatre in general is full of drama (not just the on-stage kind) and sleeping around.

I've dry-humped, kissed, etc. on stage and never really thought much of it because it was my job. I've had a couple of colleagues get creepy (especially in the more risqué shows) but they're few and far between. As for interesting stories, one guy I worked with told me that on the last night of our show, during his big kissing scene, the woman he was working with slipped him the tongue. She'd been hitting on him for weeks and was generally pretty promiscuous, so it didn't surprise me. He banged her at the cast party (Source).

Just the right spot
12. Just the right spot

A tamer story I guess, but in 2012 I was Lysander in a production of Midsummer Night's Dream, and near the end while we're watching the play within the play, Hermia and I and Helena and Demetrius are all lounging on cushions looking like happy cuddly lovers, and I run my fingers down the back of Hermia's neck. Apparently, I hit just the right spot because she went bolt upright, shuddered slightly and goosebumps shot down her neck and arms. After adjusting herself, she leans over and whispers in my ear "DO NOT tell my husband that happened" (Source).

Blinding lights and grown men watching
13. Blinding lights and grown men watching

I'm a male independent film actor and I've had several sex scenes, with women and men.

When I was 21 I was lucky enough to land the lead role in a modestly budgeted film about a young man named Aiden who's girlfriend died in a car accident before the film starts - Aiden tries to bury his sorrows, mostly by drinking a lot of whiskey and sleeping with his newly deceased girlfriend's little sister.

As Aiden I shot several sex scenes with two different girls both of whom were really cool about the whole thing.

The first one was a little awkward because it was in a corn field with her on top and me supporting us with nothing but a thin blanket between me and a bunch of cut corn stalks. It was also her 18th birthday, thankfully, as I can only imagine doing that scene with her father watching. The scene itself took about 2 hours to shoot, she wore underwear and pasties and I wore boxer shorts(our unmentionable bits were hidden under a blanket). I tried to be as respectful as possible and found it quiet easy to remain under control with the blinding lights and a dozen grown men watching my performance. How was it? Anti-climatic.

The other scenes were interesting too, a confessional booth in a church during the girlfriend's funeral for example (Source).

The sewed fly
14. The sewed fly

I was a stage actor for a couple of years and I have done numerous stage kisses. The best one was where I had to simulate receiving a blowjob on stage.

The actress and I were really professional when we started and because we were so serious, nothing happened. But then we started getting more comfortable over time and because she was giving me the "blowjob" under the covers (so that the audience couldn't see what she was actually doing), she started getting a little more daring. Especially during performance nights.

At first, totally professional, she'd go under the covers and bob her head over my crotch to make it look like a blowjob

Then she started doing that while tickling my inner thighs, trying to get me to break character.

Then she would tickle my balls through my boxers.

Then another night she reached INTO my boxers and tickled my balls with the tips of her fingers. I paused but didn't break character.

By closing night, we were very comfortable around each other and there is a tradition of sometimes playing around with a line or a prop in closing night as a prank between actors. She told me she had something special planned and I was pretty oblivious to not know what it was going to be.

So closing night, she went under the covers, head above my crotch and I felt her hands fumbling with the fly of my costume boxers, and to my glee/horror I realized her actual intentions. But then, nothing. She bobbed her head above my crotch like all the previous nights and my dick remained in my boxers.

After the show I had to ask her what she was trying to do. In a huff she said, "I wanted to give you an actual blowjob for our closing night, but the costume designers sewed your fly shut!" (Source).

Honk honk!
15. Honk honk!

Not me, but my fiancé. He had a sex scene in a movie, and the actress just happened to be a girl he went to college with . She was SUPER hot, but it was such a goofy scene, he didn't pop a boner. At the end of the scene his character finishes, and squeezes her boobs while yelling "honk honk!" Then he rolls over and says "Best ever babe!"

To this day, I'll run up to him, squeeze his chest, yell "Honk honk! Best ever babe!" and run off into the night giggling.

The funniest part of the whole thing was the audition. Since that scene was the main scene the character was in, his audition consisted of.... dry humping a bench in different ways for 30 minutes. Apparently they liked his dry humping best, and he got it! (Source)

The coming of age...
16. The coming of age...

In seventh grade we did a play called "the coming of age" and I had a kissing scene in it. the drama teacher was my moms best friend so even though I was the fat unpopular kid who couldn't act I got cast in the sexy hunk lead with the cute girl (shana). near the end of the play she had to pin me against the wall and plant a kiss on me. we were 12 so it couldn't be too raunchy, just a slightly longer than usual peck

Anyway everyone was mad I got the part. I could not act for the life of me and the hunky kid Rich was steamed that I screwed him out of the part. shana outright refused to kiss me during rehearsals but eventually, a week before the show, the drama teacher forced her to

I had never been kissed before and this was my big moment. she pinned me against the wall and before my back hit the set I had a raging unstoppable erection. and since I wore sweatpants every day there was absolutely no hiding it. so when she went in for the kiss I inadvertently poked her right in the stomach with my pubescent diamond chipper. she screamed in horror and ran off the stage crying. I stood there on stage while everyone laughed and laughed and laughed.

The teacher ended up cutting the entire kiss and turned it into a hug. the night of the show I still got a massive woodrow wilson but my costume prevented it from showing too much and she did not get poked as she kept what felt like ten feet of distance from me for the hug. I tried apologizing on stage (I had not been near her since the incident and her head was within whispering distance) and she rolled her eyes

Fun fact: I still had a boner during the curtain call and during the whole cast party. did not go away until I got home that night and beat my dick like it owed me money and spilled what I can only assume was my body weight when I finished. I got it all over the costume pants which I had to return the next day. no one said anything but I assume the pants were burned (Source).

Fear is the key
17. Fear is the key

I was in a play where I was portraying a quadriplegic. Consequently, I couldn't use my arms, hands, or legs for much of anything. I was in a wheelchair and wearing track pants. In one scene, the lead actress sat on my lap and we kissed. At the time, my (now-ex) wife and I didn't have the most active of love lives. Now, the kiss was very professional. No tongues. Just a lingering, mouths-closed kiss made to look more intense than it was. Still, having this lovely woman on my lap and kissing her was nice. Very nice. The next scene involved me being almost completely nude while she photographed me. I lived in fear of a boner every night. Thankfully, the fear did the trick. Fear is the boner killer (Source).

Ah, the theater...
18. Ah, the theater...

So theatre has to have the horniest men and women ever, and they all have to go and date each other. As the lights and sound person I tried to avoid it all, but I got to see everything. Our lead in the middle of the performance got a mega boner, like huge, so he jumped into my little box and hid there for a while. We somehow had so much improv on that fiddler on a roof that I had no idea what music and spotlight button to hit. Also the lead guy with the mega boner was my friend and crush so damn it was awkward. I should've probably done something to help him out, but his girlfriend was the other lead (Source).

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